How about not talking to her at all? I promise you'll feel better, I'm not trying to be smart. The last girl that broke up with me called me a few days later. I told her I was eating lunch and she sarcastically said "well, is this a bad time?" I said yes it is and told her I'd call her back. I never did. It was very impowering. Trust me, you'll feel better.
This girl no longer deserves any more respect than a courteous "Hello" that you would offer any stranger off the street. Recall everything you hate about John Stockton. Now go ahead and let yourself get angry. Now pretend she's John Stockton. See how easy it is to not want to be around her? Hang in there, man. PS. Get laid asap. Bust a nut and it'll heal your cuts.
As disastrous as this seems, I would count you lucky. She drops you like a hot potato for a guy who has meant trouble. Sounds like you need to let more people "inside" a bit more so you don't get overrun when a really appealing one appears.
One more thing: hell yes go to that bar and take a hot chick with you! Don't even make eye contact all evening with your ex... if that is possible (her being a bartender and all).
i don't know. maybe. i seem to put women in one of two categories: temporary or extended. temporary women don't get real close to me, but are great for sex, hanging out every now and then, etc. extended women get close to me, and i tend to have long relationships with them....even after the "relationship"is over we remain on good terms. no matter how i see the woman, though, i'm always honest and respectful to her. that is, unless she forces me to be otherwise. regardless, i don't know if you're right. women come and go, like someone else in here said. so it's difficult for me to let more of "them" in. my male friends and i are tight. we're not like brothers, we are brothers. maybe the answer is having more "temporary" women? i dunno.
And make sure the girl you are with is A LOT hotter than her, just to piss her off, but then she might go to the parking lot and attack your car(micheon)
Just wanted to throw in my $.02 and offer my condolences. I know it sucks hard to be left by someone, especially someone you love. I don't want to sound too trite, but always remember that the right one is out there somewhere (at least, that's what my family and friends keep telling me). Man all this relationship talk is uncomfortable. Makes me want to kinda hit you on the shoulder then organize a trip to a strip club to get wasted.
Whatever you do, break it off completely. Don't give in to call her. Do NOT get her ANYTHING for Christmas...not even a card. Ditto on her birthday and any other holiday. Get rid of the photos or store them where you won't see them. Get rid of anything that could remind you of her. I'm telling you all of this from experience. And if for some reason she calls you, be polite and move on. Especially if she says she made a mistake. She did. She chose someone else other than you. Don't ever forget that when thinking about her. If she gets dumped she might look for a rebound. And don't hope that happens and you'll get her back after she sees the light. You'll eventually find someone who treats you as #1 and you'll live happily ever after. You two will have kids together and you'll always be grateful that it didn't work out between the gal who thought of you as the runner-up. It's completely normal to cry, become bitter, angry and run the full cycle of emotions. Take it easy for awhile then get back out with friends, take up new hobbies and MOVE ON! Again, all of this comes from my experience.
this is going to sound silly, i'm sure, but i'm kind of embarassed about the whole passing out thing. it's a genetic disorder, and those that are close to me know about it, but it's still, i don't know. triggered (even when i'm on meds it can happen) by heavy, heavy stress ...which i have been under since...well...4 months ago. new daughter, losing some friends, new love interest, child support, etc. i think the mistake i made was allowing myself to lean on her emotionally. she became my rock during this time when life has been difficult. she was consistent. when she pulled this crap this weekend, it was like someone jerked the chair out from under me. hence the fall. i need to get up. f*ck her...
Sorry to hear about your troubles. I predict the following will happen over the next several months: Short Term: You will vacillate between "Screw that B*tch, I don't need her" to "Damn, I wish she was here". You will not be able to focus on long-term projects without losing concentration. You will see things around you that remind you of her and you will feel sad and lonely. You will be more active but will still be depressed. You will hang out with your friends more, attempt to re-focus your life on your daughter and your work. Your greatest fantasy is to immediately meet that perfect someone who will make you completely forget your ex. You will not find that person. You will go out with other women and be temporarily happy only to be disappointed after the date because she's not your ex. You will stare at the phone waiting for her call. You will have the urge to call her almost every hour. Finally, after several days, weeks, and maybe even months, she'll call you back and realize what a big mistake she's made. People don't change. It'll take awhile before she realizes this. Once she does, you'll be the ex she wants to be with. Although this option is available, do not take her back. The same reason she'll come back to you is the same reason you shouldn't take her back.
I'm going to the same situation, in a way. Listen to RIET, because nobody could have said it better. I am slowly but surely getting back to having the good times I had before all this happened. Good Luck, hang in there.
How can you be "respectful" when you categorize women so abruptly? Doesn't every woman start out temporary until you know her well enough. By then you've already bedded them down. Whereto from there? I don't mean to be crass, but you have a daughter. Were you married to her mother... or was she just a temporary woman? I think you need to slow down. These are real people's lives-- including yours.
just watch Swingers. not only will you laugh your ass off at the movie and you might start laughing at yourself. that wasn't a diss on you. it's a good movie.
I almost headed out the door to find you and smack you until I kept reading your post and saw the statement in bold. There may be reasons to take an ex back but not in this case.
I agree with FD's post. spot on. And verse, when thoughts of taking her back enter your head, or when she comes back because she realizes she made a dumbass mistake, just remember she took a big emotional dump on you and the relationship. She chose a friggin druggie over you(yeah they get all better after 4 months or so don't they? ). She doesn't deserve you or your time. And like FD said, there IS someone better out there. Time to kick thoughts of her ass to the side and go find that person. good luck man.
on the harsh side, I would tell you go get over it. its a no brainer. But i've been there, attached to someone who makes no sense, hurting me and knowing it will never work. This is the time where you accept the pain, and not try to fight it. Too often we try to fight the pain and try to reason it, whether its justifcations on whether she is worthy of you, if you look for that opportunity to get her back, revenge, jealousy, ect ... It takes time. Rid all things that preoccupy yourself with her or anything that might remind you of her. Cutting out what you can (pictures, memorbilias, phone calls, actually seeing her) will lessen the pain. What works best for me is find an outgoing/fun not-so-attractive girl to hang with for a while. You'll soon to start to like her, but just enough where you wont' get hooked =)
Today, I had a 2-hour conversation with a very close friend who just ended a 12-year (dating and marriage) relationship - w/ two children. She is extremely depressed, but she is being strong and moving forward with her life. Four months is but a blip of time in a young life – take the pain and move forward you will be a stronger person – don’t let yourself hang on to false hopes they will only slow down your progression in life. I normally do not post in these kinds of threads, but after the heart wrenching conversation I had today I thought maybe I could give a little advice. The most important thing is to keep moving forward... KC
I can't believe she ended a 4 month relationship over the phone, regardless of the reason. That's pretty spineless.
