blunt advice appreciated. as for the quality of my game...that's never been a problem. i can find someone else...i know. in fact, a girl i ran into last night (that i knew from a year ago) wants to go out with me. always has wanted to. met her dad before. nice guy. nice girl. good looking. fun. i gave her my number and she said she'll give me a call. i'll go out with her and see what happens, i guess. the hardest part, honestly, is forcing myself to let go. i've always had reasons to let go of a woman. usually anger would do it. but, i can't bring myself to feel anger right now. maybe it'll come in time. i don't know.
verse, Hang in there buddy. How you feel is how you feel and you should never let anyone try to tell you any different. You love this girl and now you can't be with her. Outside of keeping it together for your child, there is nothing wrong with feeling the way you are. Don't let the jaded make you feel like you don't deserve to be sad or want your love back. Take care man.
Either way, I still loved you, still love you, and wish the best for you. Apparently, you need to be single and able to see and do whatever and whomever you wish. That's your right to do so. And you leave me with no choice other than to move on, as well. You've shut all of your doors, and locked me out, so the only thing I can do is go on down the road and find someone else. The last time we had this problem (you and other men...) it hurt me. The time before where we broke up because of your questions, hurt me. I cried for days. It was debillitating. This, however, is different. It's just a dull, painful seed. It's a feeling of "hey, I loved her unconditionally, gave her the freedom to do or say whatever she wanted, allowed her into my daughter's life, saw her as a future wife and mother to my precious child, and in the end, she still didn't want to stay with me. At least not at the cost of the other men she keeps in her life..." Im starting to think this may be a good thing for you Verse.....break ups suck, but you can get over it....
LMAO! No offense to the tourney, Manny, but dayum, I don't think this is exactly the medicine Verse might need. Verse, my only 2 cents, from Jonathan Richman: Let Her Go Into the Darkness Well she's back with her old boyfriend. He don't challenge her. He don't contend with her. And she don't answer the cards you send. Now you're jealous of the time he spends with her. Just let her go into the darkness. Let her learn from all the things there. Just let her go into the darkness. Let her go, let her go, let her go. You want tell that her that her boyfriend's no friend You want to tell her he don't know where it's at She won't listen 'cause she's not listening Just take them sheets down to the laundromat. And let her go into the darkness. Let her learn from all the things there. Just let her go into the darkness. Let her go, let her go, let her go. Of course she's taking drugs, what did you expect? Alcoholic too, yeah, yeah, don't worry about that It's all right, it's all right, it's all right Laundromat, laundromat, laundromat! And let her go into the darkness. Let her learn from all the things there. Just let her go into the darkness. Let her go, let her go, let her go. Oh, you've got your shoes on, you want to take a walk But you're headed for her neighborhood You want to talk to her, but she won't wanna talk You want to warn her how her boyfriend's no good, no no Let her go into the darkness. Let her learn from all the things there. Let her go into the darkness. Let her go, let her go, let her go. --Jonathan Richman
With great respect to RM95 (I agree with him mostly), I just want to say my Richman quotation is not meant as a complete joke. Jonathan is very wise, and he ain't a bitter guy.
Damn hang in there bro you'll make it threw There are more fish in the sea, yes i know you had your eyes set on that one but all you can do now is relase that fishing poll again and hope you can catch you self another one you like just as much .
this guy knows what he's talking about. every time you tell her how much you love her, you're gonna keep losing her. stop clinging. that's why she's pushing you away. you gotta make her think you're the catch and it's her loss. don't spend anymore time with her. if she calls tell her you're busy, EVEN if you're NOT. she doesn't see any value in you b/c you've made the world revolve around her. let her "find" out that you're a wanted man. you can't deal with women logically, gotta get to them emotionally.
good lord. that last line is almost verbatim what my best friend told me a long time ago. scary. you're right. i think i'll do that. ****, what harm could it do? push her away? make her forget about me? make her think i don't care? all of those don't really matter, i guess. hmm. serious question (to everyone here): she's a bartender at a place i have business ties with...so i see her 3-4 times a week...including some nights that i go out. do i bring another woman around (assuming i'm on a date and my date pr myself wants to go there)?
Hey man, be strong. If she's going to do random **** like that then she's not worth it. Jeez it sounds like such a b****y way/reason to break up. Dude you should like a fun loving guy, get strong and get over it.
that's why i'm here. i'd much rather let my emotions out here than in front of her. doing so gives her waaaay too much power and control over the situation. like i said, you guys (all of you) really are helping a lot. thanks
Do you really need this drama in your life? Besides, if you use someone else to get back at her, how is that better than what she did to you? Two wrongs don't make a right. FD is right. It sounds harsh, but you need to move on asap. It's OK to feel the way you feel, but remember that feelings are just that....feelings. It's best not to act on them because they pass. Besides, your daughter needs her Daddy to be strong.
Sorry 'bout this, but that bar that she works at is completely off-limits..... at least for now. There are too many bars for that to be your excuse to see her, and believe me, it is an excuse to see her. I'm not trying to be a jerk about this, but you've got to let her go, period. Do this: Set up a poll asking men how often grovelling and telling a girl that you will wait for her has worked. You might be surprised with the results. And BELIEVE ME. The girl is ALWAYS "different" and "special" and "more complicated". You came on this board for advice. You've received it. I'm sorry that it's not what you wanted to hear. But it is the correct advice. And none of us like going through it.
if you're gonna bring a girl to her workplace don't even say hi to her. go about your date nonchalantly. otherwise, it's gonna come across as some feeble attempt (which it is ) to make her jealous and that gives her more power. all you gotta do is give her the impression that the breakup didn't affect you that much, although that might already be too late. just gradually make her feel like she really isn't THAT special.
oh, and for the records guys, i'm going to take your advice. by nature, i'm a strong willed person, and have always been the "lead" in the relationship. this time i wasn't and this whole thing (for obvious reasons) just caught me off guard. reduced me (temporarily) to something i am not proud of nor happy with. won't make that mistake again. i'll be strong enough to move on. also, you're right about bringing another woman around. i didn't think about it, but that would be an attempt to "get at her". that's stupid. hey, i don't even feel like crying anymore. that's cool. still feel empty inside, but i'll be ok. i have to see her later on tonight (have a meeting there with the owner), and i'll just limit my convo with her to what absolutely has to be said and nothing else. other than the meetings i have with the owner, i won't be going there anymore. at least, not for a while.
Verse, I feel for you man. I had my heart crushed so badly that I still haven't dated, and its been almost a year and a half. Anyhow, I ask you one question. If she chooses to come back to you, whether its tomorrow or 2 years from now, will you truly forgive her for doing so? SHE FREAKING LEFT YOU FOR SOME DRUG BINGING LOSER! My ex cheated on me, and I tried to forgive her. I suppressed those feelings and they built up until she F'ed up again and I ended the relationship. Still today, I haven't forgiven her and its a b!tch trying to let it go. Back to your story... If I was in your shoes, and I know its hard to empathize unless you've been hurt before, I wouldn't let her back. There are certain things that are forgivable, and this is not one of them. The reasoning behind it is simple.. how do you know she wont do it again? You believed that the lines of communications were open and that she loved you. Some people just don't know what love is. There is no lying in true love. You already have one beautiful woman in your life, your daughter. Keep things simple, go to work, to the movies, or out with friends. It's going to take time to heal. Best wishes, Joel
sorry about the multiple posts, but i had to make reference to this post again. FD. thank you. you're 100% correct.
