I'm no medical expert, but I'm pretty sure the only church softball related deaths have been due to somebody having a stroke out in right field. I remember the one time back in high school, I got a papercut while doing my trig homework. It stopped bleeding after a couple of minutes, but if it would have gotten infected, I could have lost a finger!
After successfully killing a man without incurring the wrath of his girlfriend, A triumphant EddiewasSnubbed returned home to log on to his myspace account. There did he post pics of himself in women's underwear and engage in AIM convos after smoking large amounts of crack cocaine. Little did he know the inhuman zombie Michael Jackson was lurking outside his window...
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done. (courtesy of Jack Handey)
moments like that are reserved for certain lines, such as, "Who's on God's side now, b****?" also, how did you manage to hide your erection after watching the guy choke?
