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How to pass a drug test

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by UTweezer, Aug 24, 2004.

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  1. Joshfast

    Joshfast "We're all gonna die" - Billy Sole
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    Jeez UTweezer, don't smoke weed and sit in your apartment playing videogames - go out drinking at a bar, slam drink after drink and drive home!

    Drink water all day everyday until your test. Also don't listen to any Bob Marley cd's, you can get a contact high from them.
     
  2. intermill

    intermill Member

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    I have some friends that have done this and it has worked everytime. And another plus of this is that it will only cost you a buck and not fifty for some masking agent that might get detected.
     
  3. glynch

    glynch Member

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    Read some of the articles about Ricky Williams. He practically explains step by step how he routinely beat the drug tests.

    Alternatively maybe you can call Ricky. Don't you go to UT? He might help a fellow Longhorn out.

    Best of luck beating the test. That is unless the interview is for airline pilot or something similar where it should be required.

    If it is your typical nosy controlling employer who really is just wanting to be sure you won't be uppity and ask for higher wages, better working conditions or even worse, encourage excellent but exploited coworkers to do so, best of luck
     
  4. jiggadi

    jiggadi Member

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    Cleanz Blendz from GNC. Works for me. Been using it for about oh I don’t know 8 years. Don't listen to the negative feed back on here telling you a bunch of crap about you not deserving the job.
    Here is what I do. I don't eat at least 12 hours before the test. There is nothing wrong with a little fasting to get some of the crap out of your system anyway. Drink up all the tea and urinate frequently. It will come out clear as water. Matter of fact I'm drinking some good ol tea right now for a morning test.:) Whatever you do don't worry and stress over this. Even if you don't get the gig the sun will still come up tomorrow and there will be more opportunities out there. Don't allow simple minded people who think just because they don't indulge in what you do tell you its wrong. They are hypocrites who probably have more screwed up lives and are miserable every day. I live my life how the Fu*K I want to and no one is going to stop me. I plan on rolling one after the test and spending the rest of the day at work buzzed. Life is good.
     
  5. DaDakota

    DaDakota Balance wins
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    Man,

    You are a piece of work. One day I would like you to dip your foot into the risk pool and have employees.


    As for the test, good luck.

    If it is a hair test, you are screwed, your hair grows so much each day, and a bit of everything you put into your body gets stored in that days growth...no cheating on a hair test.

    Pee tests can be beaten, and as long as it is not a bus driver or some job that requires safety, I hope you beat it.

    Next time don't do drugs, nothing good comes of doing them...nothing.

    DD
     
  6. DaDakota

    DaDakota Balance wins
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    LOL

    Now this is a guy who will spend his life happy....broke...but happy.

    :)

    DD
     
  7. Dennis2112

    Dennis2112 Member

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    If you truly have 2 weeks and it is a Urine test then you should be ok. Just drink water with reckless abandon and eat oatmeal and salads to clean you out. THC (which is the active agent in weed) stores itself in the fat cells of you body. If you are overweight then it could take up to a month to clear out.

    If it is a hair, you are screwed. That will go back as far as 6 months. No way to clean that out.
     
  8. Austin70

    Austin70 Member

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    Just say no?
     
  9. Severe Rockets Fan

    Severe Rockets Fan Takin it one stage at a time...

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    If you only smoked once, you should just drink a lot of water, try to workout as much as you can(cardio is the best b/c you need to sweat a lot) and you'll be fine. Really.
    Also, the day of the test, make sure you go to the bathroom, drink a lot of water, go to the bathroom again, then go take your test. Never test the urine in the beginning of the day as all the metabolized substances in your bladder collect overnight and will probably show up on the test. Good luck.
     
    #29 Severe Rockets Fan, Aug 25, 2004
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2004
  10. RocketMan Tex

    RocketMan Tex Member

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    It all depends on your body makeup. THC is stored in fat cells. The leaner you are the quicker it will get out of your system.

    That being said, drug test are f*cking worthlessly idiotic unless you are working a job that involves the safety of others.

    The thing employers ought to be testing for is booze, not weed.
     
  11. Sane

    Sane Member

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    I disagree. The hair test is easier to beat.


    Shave it all off today man. verything but your eyebrows, and then tell them your religion forbids you to remove any hair from your eyebrows (my religion does).


    Sure-Gel works for the urine test.

    You're all set. Do those two things.
     
  12. mateo

    mateo Member

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    Gotta love some of this advice.

    Um....I'm drowning....how do I swim?
    - Stay outta the water

    I'm on fire....help me
    - Fire will burn you, you idiot.

    I think I ate some poison? Do you have the number for poison control?
    - What kind of idiot eats poison? JEEEZ...I am so much better than you!!!

    :D
     
  13. candycane

    candycane Member

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    I am pretty sure that is the product my friends use as well.
     
  14. Mulder

    Mulder Member

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    When I got hired to work at Apple, I was actually hired by a temp agency that hired people for Apple (almost nobody got hired directly into Apple) I had to take a drug test. No problem I had long since stopped before then. When I got promoted to a full time employee of Apple instead of the temp agency, there was no drug test. A manager told me that if Apple drug tested they'd have to fire half the company in Texas and damn near everyone in Cali (including Steve Jobs).
     
  15. Harrisment

    Harrisment Member

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    You shouldn't have any problem passing the test. My wife gets random tests at her work, but decided one weekend that she would smoke because chances are she wouldn't be getting a test anytime soon. Sure enough, Monday morning she gets and it says to report to the lab in 2 hours for a test. She drank tons of water for the next 2 hours and passed.

    Tests are pretty easy to beat, unless you smoke multiple times over an extended period. A really good drink to use though is called XXXTra Gold. I've known many heavy weed smokers that have used that before a test and none have failed. Good Luck!
     
  16. Harrisment

    Harrisment Member

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    Oh, and by the way. It is very rare for companies to administer a hair or blood test. They are MUCH more expensive, and don't make any sense unless you are in a very safety specific job.
     
  17. Lil Pun

    Lil Pun Member

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    Very true, when I worked at the local Frito-Lay factory during the summers they would make me do a hair test but your working in a factory with all sorts of machanical devices. One person has actually died out there too in the machine called ACTIV and another peron almost lost their life but they just got permanently disfigured.
     
  18. ROCKSS

    ROCKSS Member
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    Make sure when you go to pee in the cup you let the first bit go into the toilet and then go in the cup. From what I`ve "heard" the impurities are the first thing to come out when you go so you want the first bit to hit the toilet and not the cup.......and please dont forget to wash your hands ;)
     
  19. Lil Pun

    Lil Pun Member

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    I remember when I actually did it that's what I did, not sure if that is true or not though. I remember the nurse asking me if I had dipped it into the toilet. I told her she could come hold it if she wanted to and watch.
     
  20. Summer Song Giver

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    I used to use pickle juice, a big healthy glass the night before a visit to the P.O. and plenty of water..... this gave me the squirts for a day or two but I never failed.... I did have one come back as being almost pure water though ;) so I had to retake that one.
     

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