So I was in a relationship for 7+ years. We had our ups and downs like all relationships. We both seem to want different things in the end though. Its tough because we had been together since high school. I'm 24 now and it seems like my life is a standstill. I felt the same in the relationship. I love her to death, I honestly can't imagine being with anyone else but her for the rest of my life. Unfortunately my usual lack of motivation may have caused us to grow apart in more ways than one. I don't think I would honestly want to go back to her. I love her but I just can't keep doing this. This isn't the first time we have broken up. She has broken up with me at least a dozen times. But we always end up together again. I don't want to continue that way. I don't feel I deserve that. I like to think I am a good man. Anyway, I just want to move on. I can't say I want to forget about her, because there are alot of beautiful memories I have of us together. I just want to have the strength to be able to go out and live life without her. And I just don't know how to do that right now. Any suggestions?
Narcotics, alcohol and hookers always helped me..... Seriously...the only thing that helps is time....and another woman.
"another woman" is KEY... without out another woman at your side it will make it exponentially more difficult... it doesn't have to be a girlfriend...actually it works better when it's just a f#$% buddy (and contrary to popular belief, there are more of these girls out there than you might realize)... this is what worked for me...
make a YouTube video collage of you and her together and then pop the big question to her while showing her this thread...
I have my personal secrect for that ... GO FIND TEN OTHER WOMEN! Then, you'll see when you'll spend good time with another woman you will figure out that your last lover wasn't that special. I'm sure with 10 others women you will forget the last one.
Keep thinking about her. Think about all the amazing times you spent together. Reminisce of all the times you made love. Recount all the gifts you got for her and she got for you. Think about her before when you wake up, when you're in the shower, while you're eating, while you're working, working out, reading the BBS and before bed. Basically, just think about her 24/7. Now think about who's hittin that. Hurts huh? And you try not to think about it but it's hard. The same applies to her about you and she's going to think and wonder about you even more. The key is to not give in and stay strong. The only way you can do this is find new girls.
Thats the worst part. I still gotta sit down and type out all my drama from the past year but I know that part is the worst.
Dude, I'm 27 and I just ended a year and a half relationship about 4 months ago. Not as long as you but she was the first girl I had asked to live with me so it was intense and very difficult (BTW thats the last time I will ask a girl to live with me unless I am serious about marriage.) I had two things that helped get over her very, very much. 1.) I cut off ALL contact with her. It was much easier for me because I after I had her move out she left to another city to stay with her family for Christmas and New Year, and I returned home to the US for a while. 2.) I focused and dedicated myself to bettering myself. Physically - (have since lost 10% body fat), Intellecutally - I have been reading much much more and pursuing another diploma in my field, Spiritually - I have become much more thankful for all of my blessings and thus living a much more passionate and fuller life. I have been going out and dating different women and am up front with all of them that I will not get into anything serious. My confidence is soaring and as a man I have never felt more complete. It was difficult at first but now I realized that I am a much much better person than I was in the relationship.
Listen to this, and pay special attention to the very last line. <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5XFq7m2bAjM&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5XFq7m2bAjM&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> It's really hard to hear, so I put it in a spoiler tag... Spoiler 'Til I find somebody new.
If she ever did you wrong this might help... <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/gdF_aFkujZE&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/gdF_aFkujZE&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
Just forget about her and get over it quickly,otherwise it'll feel like a twinge deep down and bother you anytime you think of her. I ended a relationship with a girl 2 years ago and I just got over it very fast and had myself in the middle of something all the time.Gradually,you will get used to the hectic life you live after you two split up.
you will never move on...she'll always be on your mind...even 5 years from now... the problem is the forgetting part...that's not the solution...instead of wipping her completely from your mind or heart or wherever you keep her...it's best to learn to live without her...find a way to cope with the things or songs that remind you of her...coping is better than forgetting...eventually...you'll be able to talk to her again but hopefully without the urge to hump her leg...
There were a lot of "I's and I'm's" in your post. You're very young, take care of you first and then when the time is right..it will be about "us". wow, that post was amazing for a Monday morning........move over Dr. Phil
