How to get more alone time without upsetting the GF...?

Learn how to convey the message without being blunt or brutally honest.

There is a 101 ways to convey a message to girl. They are perceptive to all types of signs, signals, body language, tone of voice while talking...especially when its a GF all up in you.

Divorced, she sound either older or been through more. A little tougher cause she has alot of BTDT experience.

Next time she says something like "You just want to get rid of me" in that sorta playful but has meaning tone, say something like "No, I just don't want you to get burned out on me", then smile sheepishly at her then hug her or kiss her.

Reverse psychology is just one, and I'm sure everybody has heard it. Many other methods, but again you can always send the message without being brutal or hurtful.

If you want this to work you gotta learn how to dance sometimes to get what you want.

Ok, that was my attempt at psycho analyzing.

 

is this why she's been showing up to our bball games?

 

Unlike you!

 

Thats why I always bring Mig.

 

Hey.




















...you said you wouldn't tell.

 

Well If I leave you in the apartment alone you might try to play 3s and 7s and the cops will get called eventually.

 

touche.

 

Why do you think women cheat? Primarily, to get attention. To be validated. To be fawned over.

That, and to have animal sex with big d*** neanderthals they'd never want to have real relationships with.

 

Dump her and marry a FOB...

 

Be you. Be honest. Be blunt if needed. Be sweet when needed. But just be you.

Tell her, "I can't tell you any other way than I have already. I am not losing interest in you. I am just accustomed to being able to come and go a little more freely. I just need time for me to acclimate to having someone there for me. You have shown me what need for another person is. And I need that from you just as much as you need it from me. I'm just a slow learner. I intend for you to be the one to teach me how to need each other. I do need you. And I'll be back in 4 hours. Wait up for me. Later."


Or something.

 

i'm offended by that...



btw, as for my opinion, I wouldn't say I've been through it, but something similar. I agree, communication is key, it made my last relationship last 2 years, and it basically came down to her not wanting me anymore.The first few months we clinged to each other alot, I needed my family time, and me time. I confronted, she knew that I needed it. I'm sure you want to avoid confrontation, but have to bring it up sooner or later.

as for who she's dating now.. that's another argument...

 

I agree with the person that said that a girl who needs attention WILL get it if she is that type. If that means cheating ... could be. It's highly likely, though of course this depends on her morals and ability to control herself. Otherwise she will be getting attention through flirting or something else that might be considered inappropriate. These type of women just need to be validated and loved. You probably think that you're safe because of how much she wants you - but that's wrong. Sure, she likes you but it's the attention that comes first. If you don't provide it then in the long run you will be the one posting about her breaking up with you and you will be confused because of how much she seemingly wanted you. Of course this could not be true - she could just be going through a rough period due to her divorce. Also I am not in the situation so it's hard to truly gauge her personality. So consider what I've written a warning!

Really one needs to find a girl that is independent, understanding and able to exist ON HER OWN. Only when she exists happily as an individual can she outwardly show love and care without the need for attention. This doesn't mean that you won't spend every day together, ideally you will spend the majority in each other's arms! But it will be for the reason of loving one another and not having the need for it being given to you/attention.

 

I can't give any real advice because I don't fully know your situation. I will say that I went through a similar phase with my current wife. I didn't really actively do anything about it because I had no idea what to do. It didn't last long, though. Eventually you reach a point where both of you will need some alone time (I assume...I suppose it could be different with your girl).

My one suggestion would be to sit down with her, as others have mentioned, and lay it all out for her that you need your "Me Time" on occasion. Then work out some kind of schedule, if you can, of when those times will be. That way she knows not ask or try to impinge on that time and hopefully she won't think she is being rejected because it is something layed out beforehand.

Or just fart more.

Edit: I will say this, though. If you are ever planning on starting a family, this is good training. When you have little kids that sit around during the day just waiting for the moment Daddy walks through the door, you don't get to tell them you need some alone time. You don't even get to consider it, really. Because if you think a wife won't understand, believe me, a little kid DEFINITELY won't.

 

Does she have any girlfriends? [insert lesbian joke here] Encourage her to go out more with "the girls".

Personally, I LIVE for my wife's weekly happy hours with "the girls". And if there happens to be a Rocket game on that night, we're talking pure nirvana.

 

I doubt married life is much diff, friends dwindle over time and the two of you will become more dependant on eachother as the years go on. (more so her, from your comments) You have to understand that you are her hobby, her alone time and her fun time, being married or not wont change this as much as you think, from what i gather.

Now for the question at hand. LIE!!! (just little white lies) its the only thing that will keep you sane.
ex: Her: "Are you staying at your parents?" You: "Yes i am." (when youre really not) That buys you hours if not days of alone time right there.

This can be used for all events (given you work together so youre screwed there, thats usually a good one) lol, youre screwed. Change jobs.
I'm guessing she can go to most family events so thats out. Find out what she hates or wouldnt be able to do then plan those things for your "alone time".

For quick fixes, make yourself a fake email address that is a "lonely" friend. write yourself an email that states i just broke up with my GF etc etc then send it, draw her attention to the matter and if shes like screw him, what kinda GF is that? More than likely she will say, awww go hang out with him and cheer him up. = alone time (kinda like the beer commercial, "we're still venting")

The aboves solves your problem with the 1% chance of getting caught, that 1% being error on your part.

Now, if you dont want to lie (and i know you dont) suck it up and take it or tell her and suffer the results.

Either lie and its your way out or tell the truth and it may be hers.

 

Honestly works except when she asks you

"Would you ever do my mom?"

 

Truth.

Word. She clearly has some emotional dependency issues, and believe me, I know alllllll about how that ends...

Yep. Think about it: this is the same crap chicks pull that we complain about so much. If there are things you do that drive your SO crazy, wouldn't you want to be told as soon as possible, rather than finding out about it two years later when they're screaming at you in frustration for not using your psychic powers to figure out what they really wanted?

Would you believe my ex apparently harbored an insane hatred towards me for wearing jeans instead of khakis, because she thought I looked better in khakis? No joke. All of a sudden she went off on this "you don't care enough to look good for me, blah blah blah..." and I'm like "the only reason I usually wear jeans is because they're at the top of the drawer. If you had bothered to tell me this, I'd have always worn khakis. I don't even care!"

Women.

 

Wow, lots of good posts in this thread. Quoted for truth.

 

lol, sold me out