How should I have responded to a racist comment?

03, for the record, I'd have probly done something similar in the same situation.

 

You know, I'm sitting here reading the responses of some of the experts in this thread and wondering to myself if I should respond with anything. You've got people saying you should have just ignored him, others saying they're white and get discriminated on basketball courts, some saying you should've verbally blasted the guy even further, etc. Some of these are humorous. I've said this in a post I made in the past, but I always turned my cheek away from racist comments and never said anything until 9/11 and an experience I had at work. I won't go into it here, as I've already talked about it in the past. I used to get on Rocket River's case before 9/11 saying he needs to forget the past (history of racism) and try to work for the future. That he was too suspicious of everyone. That he was just making things worse and learn to ignore such statements. That all changed after 9/11 for me. I've come to the conclusion that unless you truly experience racism and hatred, you cannot fathom what it means to be a victim. You cannot empathize. Period. The amazing thing is I exploded at work on a co-worker after only about 2 or 3 weeks of constant "camel jockey", "damn Afghan", "blow 'em all up", etc. comments. I can't imagine being subject to intense racism that causes you to not get promotions, not get equivalent salary, be denied equal opportunities, etc. for a freaking lifetime as many blacks and hispanics have. I still here stupid comments at work regarding "wetbacks", "those Mexicans", etc. I sometimes wonder what goes through people's heads. I've restrained myself exploding a 2nd time....

With that being said, r0ckets03, I can only say that you did what you thought you had to do. If you regret it now, you owe no one but those with you an apology. Whatever you do, make sure the kid knows that your response probably wasn't a good one, if that's what you believe. Also, let the kid know that all white people aren't racists bent upon discrimination. Teach him to give people the benefit of the doubt until they prove they don't deserve it. Don't feel bad about it; I probably would've done the same, except I would've just made the guy feel like an idiot. If there's one thing I've learned in the past few months, you can live in the most technologically advanced country with some of the best access to education and still end up with all the intelligence of a brick. I think you did a good job standing up for yourself when pushed to the limit.

Anyway, just don't try the stuff you did with that guy on me... I will kick your ass, and I think you know this.

 

Hey hey, I'm no pacifist but let's use some common sense here. Shouting matches with elderly racists in convenience stores doesn't accomplish anything. It might make you feel good to tell him off but if you want to tackle racism then do it with co-workers, friends, neighbors, acquaintances, friends of family, etc. Sometimes you'd be surprised what even the most trusted friend really thinks about other races.

 

What a jerk that old guy was.

I also am Indian, and am subject to some subtle racism.

I happen to live in a town with a lot of Indians, so many people in town know and are friends with at least one Indian family.

I've been called a sand-ni..., and have been asked why "my people" bombed New York City by the occasional idiot, but have never experienced anything like 03 did...

I understand your anger(I would have been ticked too), but you did the right thing.

 

Sorry to hear that this happened to you, 03. Unfortunately, there are lots of old dumbass rednecks in the South.

I remember in my old job at the bank, I was waiting on this old geezer who was like 75 or so. He had come in to withdraw from his IRA. Now this was in 1998, and the University of Tennessee's football team was doing real well (they wound up winning the National Championship). Well, for some reason, this guy felt compelled to tell me while he was in my office about how happy he was about Tennessee's season. I didn't really think much of it because of several reasons:

1) I know that most people where I live are die-hard Tennessee fans
2) I hate Tennessee football
3) I was not going to tell him to shut up because working for the public teaches you to just sorta sit there and nod (the customer is always right....well, not always).

Well, he goes on and on about how everyone expected the Vols to be good in '97 because of Peyton Manning but Peyton couldn't do it alone (he acted like he knew Peyton Manning personally). But then he said this, "No one thought Tennessee was going to be good, but they have this n***** quarterback and they are undefeated (he was talking about Tee Martin)." Well, needless to say, when he said this my eyebrows went up and I desperately looked around to make sure no one else heard him, especially any black people. But if that wasn't bad enough, he then had to throw out this nugget:

"It used to be that you never saw that. But now, there are n***** quarterbacks everywhere!" Well, when he said the n word the 2nd time, I pretty much told him with my body language that I wanted him the hell out of my office. I think he finally got the message that I didn't like him saying that. However, it bothered me that I didn't say anything to him. I guess I naively felt that since he was so old that he wasn't going to change and in his mind, he probably felt he didn't do anything offensive. Yet, I still should have had some balls and said something to him.

The moral is that you are going to run into some idiots from time to time who feel this way because they grew up in a time where prejudice was rampant and they resisted integration. For the most part, they keep these feelings bottled up, but sometimes because of things, they let them out whether it is terrorist bombings or feeling that they have gotten ripped off on a bag of chips. Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending the guy; however, I am not surprised because the one guy I waited on said his thing so casually to me. It is like he was thinking, "This guy is white like me and probably hates people of all races." However, I think he got the message with my body language that is not the case. But to me that is the scary thing....it's like they don't even think about how hurtful their words are to other people. They just feel that is the norm. Oh well, in another 40 years, all of those old narrow-minded rednecks will be dead anyway. Let's just hope that they haven't passed their narrow-minded ways on down the line.

 

I really get tired of suppressing my anger just because it's the mature thing, because two wrongs don't make a right, because I have to be the bigger person, because if I react I'm just as guilty as the racist.

The next time I am personally offended, I'm whipping somebody's ass.

Be afraid, be verrrry afraid...

 

I didn't read this whole thread. My time is short lately due to work, which is why I haven't been posting as much. Those of you who are so inclined should take care to enjoy it while you can.

I did notice FranchiseBlade's post. His posts are always good and this one's no exception. And Kagy's stood out as smart and funny too, as per usual. The others were long and I wanted to respond. My choice was reading them all or responding. Forgive me for choosing the latter. Here goes:

We don't have any better a chance working this out on a BBS than any of us might in a convenience store, and yet it bears discussion -- as much as or more than anything. Free speech rules. Enjoy it and use it. Especially in those most important situations. And this is one.

It is not only the right but the duty of Americans and patriots to speak out against un-American behavior which disguises itself as patriotism. You won't eliminate racism in a convenience store argument, but all politics are local. That old guy had the right to say what he said. We have the right in this country to be verbally abusive. If necessary, indulge that right against hypocrites and in the name of patriotism. True patriots do not fear the consequences and, while they might in retrospect prefer they'd acted in a cooler fashion, they are righteous in their passionate response. Those who worship at the altar of the calm, reasoned response were never responsible for exacting important, necessary advances regarding civil rights. We are, none of us who believe in the American principle of equality, done fighting this fight. And we didn't need this story to tell us that.

Trader_Jorge. My new favorite foil. You're right that Republicans don't deserve to be called out as racists just for being Republicans. But you should realize, as should your party, that this happens for a reason. I won't presume to tell you what it is. But it will continue to happen until you guys figure out why people of color and even white people sympathic to the plight of people of color are so offended by your party's policies. Running Repub minority candidates won't cut it. Your party needs to understand this issue and place a premium on addressing it. Or you will all disappear. Demographics are changing. This is truly becoming a country of color. Finally. And the colorful among us do not trust your leaders. You don't deserve to be branded racist for your ideology, but you and your party need to take a long, hard look. Or fade away into obscurity. Either way's okay by me.

Peace,

Batman

 

tbagain responding to Baqui's advice to not take crap from idiots:

Even though I agree with you, this line of reasoning is a huge pet peeve of mine. From now on, I'm going to pimp-slap anyone who smiles at me in passing. That way, I can advise people never to smile at anyone they see, cause they're gonna end up getting pimp-slapped by some uneducated loser.

I'm joking, and again, you are right tbagain....but you're thinking is soooooo negative on "uneducated losers", sooooo cautious in life, and sooooo "if I act like such, I will be okay; and if I don't, I will be screwed". Life is not that easy to predict.

 

I wish that it would become common courtesy for bystanders who were not attacked to handle the agressive response, but I think bystanders are caught off-guard also. I mentally prepare for such circumstances and will not allow others to be mistreated by dolts. I despise racism and don't want to live in a racist society, so I consider it a social imperative to respond to it.

 

Batman Jones --

To say that Republicans are "called out as racists" for a reason, is the same thing as saying that racists are racist for a reason. Is that good logic Batman? If I see Saudi terrorists on TV running planes into buildings, do I "have a reason" to be racist? NO. If I see blacks going to jail on the TV show Cops for dealing cocaine, do I "have a reason" to be racist? NO. What is the difference? Both are making *broad* generalizations about a group of people.

In terms of your demographics comment, really the only minority group that consistently (90%+) votes democrat is african americans. The demographic shift that is occurring is largely an influx of Indian/Asian/Mexican who are not nearly as entrenched in their voting preference. These new immigrant groups don't vote on the same issues. They are concerned with small business opportunities, lower taxes, and family values. The Republican party isn't exactly fading away into obscurity. We own these issues. We still control the House and Presidency and lost the Senate by one clown in Vermont's actions (Jeffords).

 

Agreed. I'm not a big fan of diversity training, but I don't think it would hurt for middle-schoolers.

I still vividly remember the most inadvertently predjudiced thing I've ever done-- it happened in the 6th grade. I was sitting with a friend before a choir event in which we were singing, and a kid of Asian descent was sitting next to us. I can't remember specifically how the conversation started-- think we were trying to figure out who else was in the choir with us... anyway, we asked his name. He replied, "Jack Connor".

Well, that couldn't be. He was Asian. Asians didn't have names like that. So I blurted out, to my friend, "Nuh-uh, check the program, look for an Asian name".

Every time I think of that, I want to crawl into a hole. Ugh.

As for the issue of Republicans being perceived as racist, who says the perception is anything other than a response to the left's boogeyman tactics? The Democrats are not exactly fair or truthful in how they portray the Republican agenda to minorities in this country. Why assume that the Republican ideology has been fairly appraised by the people who think the GOP's racist?

Anyone remember John Conyers' speech on the House floor, in early 1995? That kind of rhetoric is commonplace. If a lie is told enough times, it can become accepted as truth. In this case, the word "racism" has been branded on Republicans often enough that it's accepted as common wisdom despite the fact that there's no evidence to support such a claim. The GOP's agenda may not appeal to black voters, but that doesn't mean a) it should change or b) it's racist.

Jeff and I had a really good conversation a few weeks back about this. To sum up my point back then, the perception of the Republican position seems to be that we're suggesting a course of action for America that we think might be bad for blacks, but is good for whites, so we're all for it.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. I honestly believe that the implementation of my core political beliefs would benefit all Americans. 90 percent of black voters disagree with me-- that's unfortunate, but I'm not going to change my beliefs because of that. I'm absolutely sure I'm right. If I wasn't, why would I advocate the things I believe?

 

Excellent post, Kagy.

 

I won't even share my worst moment as a human. I still nearly cry everytime I think about it, and I'm very lucky I didn't get my ass beat and lose all my friends. I'll leave it at that.

I agree. I also believe that Republicans are not very truthful in how they portray Democrats. Republicans aren't all racist and Democrats aren't all communists.

Again, I agree. However, I can see how people, especially African-Americans, could make that jump. It's not right, but I don't necessarily think it's that ridiculous an assumption. Maybe Republicans as a whole need to do a better job explaining it this way...like you've been doing.

You shouldn't change your beliefs, nor should you not think you're right. I certainly think I'm right. However, if something that I don't agree with works out, I have no qualms in admitting that I was wrong, at least in that specific situation. For example, if Bush's tax cuts lead to economic prosperity for all in the next few years, then I will greatly applaud that, even though I disagreed with it when it was first implemented. That also won't change my belief that tax cuts for the rich aren't the right way to go everytime.

 

Whooooooo horsey! To make an assumption for 90 percent of black voters is verrrrrry 'Republican'. Allow 90 percent of black voters to post before you lend that little ditty. Contrary to popular belief, you guys don't know everything!

FYI in 2000 McCain(R) was my man.

 

If you and I could post like this all the time, RM95, we'd get along a hell of a lot better.

I agree with what you've posted. Both sides are guilty of caricaturing the other.

 

SELLOUT SELLOUT SELLOUT
HOW DARE YOU STRAY FROM THE MONOLITHIC BLACK GROUP
*browbeatbrowbeatbrowbeatyoubackintoline*

Rocket River

 

That's not an assumption. It's based off of the fact that 90 percent of black voters voted for Gore.

 

Yeah, just forget the old RM95 (Clutch, that goes for you too!). He stills shows up every once in a while, but his old confrontational ways and stereotypical beliefs aren't nearly as prevelant. I still wholeheartedly disagree with you a lot, though.

Maybe after a few months of this, we can hang out on your stairs and toke some!

 

A great deal of poor white people voted for Gore too. How does that factor in to your 'core political beliefs?


...and Rocket

That would be Mr. sellout to you!!!!