How Not to Talk to Your Kids (and how it applies to the Rockets...)

great post

 

Not only great. Unique. This kind of analysis is rare but accurate IMO.

 

This might go over a lot of people's head. Cue all the JVG dislikers......

 

That's really interesting I'm not done reading it yet, but obviously it makes me think of JVG.

He'd always say stuff like... "Why praise someone for something they're supposed to do?"

 

This is very very interesting. However, I always got the impression that whenever Yao had a great game, VG didn't really praise him but regardless of how poorly T-Mac played, he never really got criticized. There has to more to this.

 

You rang?

I hope the current coach reads this because the last one NEVER directly criticized Tmac...

Let's try some tough love.



DD

 

Didn't Rudy T give Hakeem some tough love? Or did Hakeem see the light about playing unselfish basketball before Rudy T took over for Chaney?

I want to say the former. If Rudy T were the coach, I wonder what he would say to T-Mac. I think he would call him out privately.

I think Rudy could get a lot more out of McGrady compared to other coaches.

 

great article.. thanks for posting

 

Pretty interesting article. Nice departure from the usual drivel that paints these forums.

 

Nice post, is it just me or I feel that team was far more disciplined in JVG era?

I like what Rick is doing and that's his style but I think he somehow isn't agressive, like Yao but will work it out.

 

Carrot or stick. Who cares. Whatever works. Just play ball and put the ball in the hole. No more excuses.

 

Thanks, this is a great article..

 

There are thousands of studies that disprove his theory. Here is just one.

Criticism vs Praise

Dr. Hurlock's study seems to have much more relevance because it is under more control. IMO honesty is the underlying variable that Wittingham is missing. Undeserved praise is a lie and kids are smart enough to know that. If you praise one when they don't deserve it you are teaching that effort is irrelevant and doing whatever you want is enough. Of course that is just my opinion and you may choose call your kid a schmuck at every opportunity. Who knows, one day he may become a superstar.

 

Maturity level is also an important factor. Some kids just don't have the maturity level/ awareness to be an effective interdependent member of the group regardless of the communication method used. So when an individual has not complete/master a stage it may manifest in many aspects in life. I see someone might still stucking on the "Superego identity" crisis. Cough*Tmac* Cough.

 

Among the best posts I've ever seen since I started lurking on ClutchFans. I've drawn similar comparisons in my own life and in talking about things in the business world.

Yes, this really all does have to do with the Rockets
...kind of
I was always one of the smart kids growing up. My parents figured out I could read when I was 4; I don't really know how long I was reading before they figured it out. My teachers used to go on and on and on about how smart I was, and I never had to study. I used to hear a lot of talk about how I was a child prodigy and a genius. I was never a fan of it. But my point is that I never had to learn how to work hard to do anything.
...Until I hit college. In college, I couldn't just listen to someone and learn everything; I actually had to read a book. Professors would test over things they didn't talk about. I had to learn to study. And it was hard; I'm in my 5th year of college because I didn't know how to work. 10-12 hours to me was as taxing as 14-16 to all my friends. And I've only just started to realize what sort of potential I have, but it's been among the most taxing experiences in my life trying to learn how to push myself. It is a skill.
A friend of mine, a naturally artistic genius, has also had the same problem with his artistic abilities (but even moreso). Because he never had to work to do anything, he's not been able to progress beyond what he was in high school despite 3 years at one of the best art schools in the country. He doesn't know how to work, and his work suffers because of it. It frustrates the hell out of us because we see his wasted potential.

So what's the point?
With the whole self-esteem movement, business leaders are finding that employees will no longer put up with situations they don't like. Rather than try to work through it, if they're not praised continuously, they think they're doing something wrong and will become more and more uncomfortable. They eventually leave their jobs. My dad and some Houston-area businesspeople had a meeting where they discussed how the workplace will have to respond to this new breed of employee.

And that brings me back to what you said about McGrady. T-Mac has been talking a lot lately about how he's not mentally prepared. This makes me believe there's another part to The McGrady Conundrum. T-Mac has this limitless potential but, like my friend and me, doesn't know how to realize it. Is it possible that his basketball self-esteem is so high that he's afraid to try to change a situation and instead just gets more and more uncomfortable until he leaves?
You never hear stories about how T-Mac thinks a team should improve. And Jon Barry, when the Rockets got Shane Battier, talked about how T-Mac just doesn't have that leadership personality. Perhaps he too has this same problem as the new generation of employees; if he's not continuously praised, he thinks he's doing something wrong.

It seems to me that McGrady doesn't want to improve. That both his inability to realize his potential and his unwillingness to improve the situation he's in have lead to the player he is today. I'll end this when something I said during the offseason.

In the midst of all the "Yao for KG" threads, I mentioned something about being realistic about trades. And this year, I've realized just how great a fit one of my examples would have been.
In a reply to one of the threads, I said something about T-Mac and xxx for Shawn Marion (who had, at the time, recently mentioned that he was looking for a trade out of Phoenix) and Leandro Barbosa would be more realistic. That Phoenix needed something to get them over the hump, and that McGrady would thrive in Phoenix and would give Nash what he needed to win it all. But I realize now that the reason that McGrady would fit so well in Phoenix isn't the desperation to win.
It's the personality of Steve Nash. T-Mac, just like me, needs someone to inspire him to work harder to become better (mine, initially, was an ex-girlfriend I was really in love with). Jeez, this sounds like pruyen talking about Yao. But T-Mac needs someone to instill in him the desire to be a better player.

Blech. I'm tired. I'm not proofreading this; I hope it makes sense.

 

I like this article, thanks for sharing

 

Great thread.

I loved the article. Makes a lot of sense.

But, I think we have to keep it in perspective and consider the spectrum limits. Let me ask a question so you can understand my point.

Do you think that JVG could continue to give Yao effort praise and he could eventually guard AI, Josh Howard, and Carlos Boozer one on one without any help and stop them and not get into foul trouble?????

I don't think this is possible. And this is where Van Gundy took this thought process past it's limits. As was brought up in another thread, he continued and continued to run Yao out there to defend Boozer one on one without making any adjustment. And Utah kept killing us with it. Against Dallas a couple years back, they went small and had Howard going one on one against Yao. No adjustment. Yao is no more closer to being able to defend either one of those guys today than he was then. Dare I say, he will NEVER be able to defend those guys without help???

The physical limitations of our bodies need to be taken into account. Fast twitch fibers or slow twitch fibers? High center of gravity or low center of gravity? We are talking about direct competition between human beings. The answer is to develop a better strategy for winning the game, not to have an unrealistic expectation that Yao can do anything and everything physically on the basketball court.