How Many Serious Relationships Did You Have Before You Found The One?

I would contend that the real reason for the vast majority of divorces has very little to do with the other person but, rather with our own unrealistic attitudes toward that person and relationships in general.

I don't think having a good marriage is a matter of sorting through a large pool of compatible applicants until we find the perfect one. In fact, how could it be? The person you're most compatible with at age 23 may be vastly different from the person you're most compatible with at 33 or 43, etc... Not to mention, the woman (or man) who is physically attractive and sexually appealing today will inevitably become old or bald or fat or sick.

Our partner will constantly change in personality, interests and appearance -- and we have absolutely no control of it. The only thing we do have control over is how we respond. It's in our own behavior that we get to choose whether or not we have a happy marriage.

 

What she said.

 

Mrs. JB, you are oversimplifying this issue. The person may well become all of the above.

Seriously, there must be a happy medium for us all. Date too many people, and everyone you meet will be disappointing in some aspect. Date too few, and you may end up with someone you don't communicate that deeply with, someone with whom it will be difficult to change in the ways Mrs. JB mentions.

I myself had (... counts carefully to self ...) seven before "the one." ...

The one with whom I will become old, bald, fat, and sick smelling.

 

No need to say anything else after Mrs JB's words. Jeff, you are a lucky man.

 

I haven't even had a chance yet, I met a girl and thought she could be the one, but I fell into the friend zone, and now I think it would be too weird for the both of us. That and she's still immature and probably not ready to be in any serious relationship.

ah well, I've moved on and college is full of new opportunities.

 

5 I dated for any length of time (from 2- 6 months)
none of them were "serious"
tons more I screwed around with for under 2 months..

When I found the one I couldnt bear to think about splitting up with...I married her.
So this is my 1st serious one..
and my last...

 

One. And I wish like everything within me I'd never had that relationship... Not that I "lost it" or had already popped the "question." Just that I was so blind, and never saw her strange, demented family members' lies coming... and that I ever said the "three little words" to her. Yech! It's like another painful life in that set of memories...

The bright side is that it taught me what I really wanted, and never wanted in a relationship... and how to cross examine the possible in-laws!

8 years later (7 of them married)... and I still know I'm with the "one."

I love my wife dearly.