How Many Perfect Dumps Have You Had?

P.S. I say we make this into a competition and post in here every time we have a perfect dump.






Or is that too strange?




No cheating!

 

That might be a sign of leakage...

 

The perfect dump consists of one perfectly sized turd that when hits the water, splashes back a courtesy rinse. Of course this is before you pee.

You are in and out in less than 15 seconds.

I've had 1, but I always check.

Safety first.

 

Those are the best kind! They're kind of rough at first, but once you're done, you feel like you just lost about 10 pounds. Like a NEW MAN!!

 

Ok, I had a perfect one last night...Well, I think I did as after the 3rd wipe, nothing...So i technically didn't check after the first one, so...

 

Let's see.. I had one in '03, one in '00, two in '94 (it was a very good year), and one in '89. My memory does not stretch reliably beyond 1986, which is when I turned five

Seriously, who the hell remembers??

They are extremely rare for me though, so I'll have to go with between four and six

 

I recently had a disposal installed in my shower. That way, I always have a "perfect" one. Just let it go in the shower, and flip the switch...

Seriously, there are fewer things I would rather talk less about. Yes, we all do it, and no, I don't care to talk about it.

The less I know about y'alls colons, the better.

 

OK, I took a perfect dump about 9:00 this morning after I woke up. It came out clean, had a nice point on the end, and I didn't have to wipe. Two hours later, I took another dump, and it was a five wiper. The second one was also a lot stinkier. How does one take a perfect dump and a messy dump a mere two hours apart? I think I've entered the poop twilight zone...

 

i decided to vote for there is no such thing.

Fecal matter is passing through your ass. Don't you need to wipe it off?

Not unless you **** with a sausge casing.

 

All mine are perfect dumps, cause I enema in the shower! It may sound gross, but much cleaner than smearing ur a$$-hole with chit.

 

bump


rack me up for my first of the year and hopefully many to come

 

Some day I'm going to meet manny and when there is an akward lull in the conversation I hope to God I say "So... you have that perfect dump yet?"

 

Ever had a spell where you actually had to budget enough time for trips to the can?

 

My perfect dump would be something like this.

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I would say 93985 times.

 

A perfect dump is one in which you can finish a "Hard" or "4-star" Sudoku before you have finished.

 

how can dogs have a perfect dump every time?

 

I have had a few of those close calls in my drinking days.

It's kinda scary, but great after it's done.

That will make you sweat.