HOw does one go from "Getting Married, living together, status to...

I don't know how long you guys were together, I was with mine for 5 years, but it will get worse before it gets better. You have a daughter whereras I didn't, and you HAVE to think about her. It's going to be tough and I was so close to picking up the phone and calling my ex is crazy. But be strong and believe in you convictions. If you know in your heart AND head that this is best for you, her and your daughter then you need to stay the course. It took me about a year to get close to normal again but I was in a "first-love" type of deal and break-ups have since gotten alot easier. I did a few ****ty things after the break-up, I used girls and lead them on just to end up hurting them and believe me thats not the way to go - although I won't lie and tell you it didn't help. You don't really have time to dwell on things when you are with another girl, its when I was not with another girl my mind drifted to my ex. So I keep the company of women alot. But since you have another to think of that's not really something you can do. Take this time to spend with your daughter, take solace in her, she will always be there and always love you. That my friend is something I've yet to encounter but I can imagine that being something really uplifting thru difficult times.

 

Your daughter is the most important woman in your life.....remember that and you will be fine.

I have a good friend who is in an incredibly selfish relationship.....He hates it, but he has 2 kids and will not leave until they are out of the house...then he says he is kicking her to the curb.

DD

 

Hoop-T
Thats a tough one, ignore her, but dont act like a prick when you do talk to her. Thats the best advice i can give you. If she calls, dont answer her calls, if she doesnt stop by and stops calling, give her a call and just ask how shes doing. Then she'll start calling you again, and do the same thing until she realizes she cant live without thinking about you.

 

I'm going through something similar at first she was always waiting and hoping I would get serious with her and then when I finally tried to she started being confused. Only in my case I hurt her many times. So I understood why she was confused. She didnt believe that I would finally want to settle down. Now we have been on this confused thing for about a month. I actually called her today and told her what the Fu** I'm not going to keep waiting around you are taking this too far. If you are confused then fine I will move on and when and if you think you may want to work this out call me and we can talk about it then. I emailed her and told her I am not happy and I wish to be happy so if she can't figure out what she wants she needs to let me go because I want her to be happy and if its not going to be me she needs to move on as well.
Now she wants to come by tonight and talk about things. I'm done waiting I know its my fault so I did for a little while but I cant anymore. I'm sure this also has a lot to do with her age. I'm 28 and she is several years younger than I am. I knew what I was getting into. But its been a lot of fun being with her until now of course. But you have a daughter and that makes things a lot different. Hell, I dont even have a dog. But I know I can find someone who will know for sure they want to be with me and I wont be able to find that other person if I keep beating myself up waiting on this one. I hope things work out for you.

 

Man, these relationship threads always make me feel so good about my own marriage. Hoop-T, I think you are doing the wise thing here. When I read the first post, I was wondering how one goes from engaged to just dating again -- and then my belief was confirmed: you really can't. Good luck to you.

 

DD,

I may not agree with your politics but I agree with you on almost everything else.

T-Pooh,

When you find a women that makes you feel as good as your daughter does, you would met the right one for you. The relationship should be that easy.

 

HOOP-T

Wow! I think that's about the best reaction I've ever heard a guy make! you probably don't feel very good about things right now, but I think you made a great move. You've stood up for yourself and your daughter and that's a really strong, hard thing to do. Hang in there!

-- droxford

 

Are you a chiropractor or a masseuse? If you are, boy do I have a job for you...

Seriously,

Sorry to hear about this man - that sucks. But as others have said, I think you are doing the right thing although it is going to be very hard on you and your daughter to keep doing this.

That is the thing that I always hated about relationships with girls/women - it is like when you are ready to give them your heart, they literally take it out and show it to you.

Something that has helped me big time, but I know is not for everyone is letting God into my life. On stuff like this, I put it into His hands and I am as happy as I have ever been when it comes to this stuff.

Good luck and hang in there - you have lots of people pulling for you, HOOP. You'll make it just hold true to what you believe in.

 

HOOP-T,

You did the right thing man. Hang in there. If Roc will have us back at his place, we should have a Rockets viewing party and cheer you up.

Nothing cheers up a man quite like beautiful, naked ladies.

 

think R2K, HeyP, Codell and others have a viewing party planned for the 23rd at BW3 in Rice Village

 

often the best thing to do is hardest..... well done Hoop-T, don't forget things will get better everyday for now on, keep your chin up, you made the right decision

 

Sounds like she is all about herself. Trust me, you are better off finding someone that cares about what you feel also.

 

Hoop-T
Hey, I'm not trying to side track your thread writting about my own situation...But, I did a good job putting my foot down with my g/f and she came by last night and I told her that she has been selfish and I was not happy waiting for her to make up her mind. That if I was not what she wanted she needs to leave and never come back. She didn't leave she told me she is afraid of me leaving her when she gives her all to me. But that if we could take things slowly she is willing to give it another try. I'm not convinced to be honest with you but I am not going to give up on what we have/had I put a lot of time and effort in our relationship. I think the good times outweigh the bad by far and I think that if we do end up working out it will be well worth it. Everyone of my buds thinks I should launch her but my heart tells me to keep trying as long as she isn't a Bit*H to me. So, what I would tell you is to just try to keep your head on straight because many times in life things dont end up like you expect them to.

 

HOOP,

I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason. You will find someone who will treat you better than this immature girl, but you have to believe that. And no matter how tempted you are, do NOT call her (for at least the next week or so).