When my Grandmother, whom I was close to, passed, I read C.S. Lewis: A Grief Observed. I found some comfort in it, that such a devout man can question everything when his wife died, yes still found healing, really hit a nerve.
I lost my best friend 4 years ago at the age of 21. Car accident. We are like brothers. I have never felt a greater pain. My mother will soon succumb to cancer. To my understanding she is on her death bed. She's only 50 years old. I don't know how to deal with death. Found a great saying on reddit about death. May he be safe in heaven half an hour before the devil knows he's dead.
I have so much to say on this subject, that I could probably write all night. I'm on my phone, and at work, so I will try to limit my thoughts. I work in a hospital, and have dealt with the deaths of countless people young and old. At a hospital, though, you unfortunately distance yourself from these things emotionally, so its a lot different when it hits someone close to you. My grandpa died of cancer when I was 9 or 10, and I was very close to him. I was not mature enough to come to grips with his death, though. I thought of him constantly for about a year afterwards, even though I knew of the finality of things. I still think about think of him from time to time, and it brings a smile to my face. He was a great man. In my opinion, he was the last true cowboy in the world. Typing this makes me smile. I love my grandpa. As far as how I look at death, I think its rather unconventional. I wish more people felt the same way as me though. Death is inevitable. I'm not afraid of it. It's an inspiration to me. Death screams at me to live life fully, to enjoy it. Life is a privilege that I someday won't have, so I'm going to laugh as hard as I can and make others laugh as much as I can, so that they better enjoy it to. I'm going to push myself to do things I didn't think I could do, or was too afraid to try because I know I only have a certain time frame to do it. In other words, I want to scare the hell out of myself or make things awkward in situations just to laugh about it and enjoy it later. When I die, I want to leave an instruction manual for how my funeral should go (and this is how I believe all funerals should go): Although everyone in the crowd may have a heavy heart, I wouldnt want anyone feeling sad or sorry for me. I want everyone who feels comfortable to go up to the podium and share an experience they had with me. Then, I want them to share a funny story they had about me. Anyone feel free to interrupt and add anything to the stories, because God knows I do that constantly. Point is, I want people to have a good time actually celebrating experiences with me. And I want there to be a giant blow up picture of just my face making some goofy expression just to make it a bit awkard for people. Seriously. I seriously wouldnt mind if the funeral home people posed me so people could give me a high (or low...if you have a sense of humor) five. Seriously. I want my pall bearers complaining of how heavy I am, cursing me for all the donuts I ate. Lastly, I want a taped message to be played for every one thanking them for coming out for me, hoping they had a good time, and telling them all how much I loved them, even though I probably never showed it. I don't think funerals should be about death, but about celebrating the life someone had, and the good times you spent with them. I think a funeral is the ultimate place to let your guard down, but I also feel that you should honor the person by enjoying their life, not dwelling over their death. To Heypee, I'm glad you found a way to be there for your friend. Don't live with the regret of what you think was not being there for him, live with the fact that you did what you had to in order to get there. That shows you were a true friend right there, and I guarantee you Art appreciated that you came more than you will ever know. I know it sucks losing your friend, but don't try to think of the negatives. Think about all the good times you guys had, and cherish the hell out of them. Like I said, I could go on and on, but I'm probably coming across as weird and pretentious ( I apologize if so), so I'll quit while people are still (maybe) reading.
Today was my mothers last here with us. I've cried, I've laughed at the memories. I know it's a part of living our short lives here but we'll have to continue to love one another and keep her alive in our hearts. I've shared this bad news with one close friend and now I'm here with the BBS family.
For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21 For me, I always take advantage of the time I have left with people I love. I try to spend time with everyone I love, so that when they do pass on I will know that they knew how much I loved them. And hopefully I will see them again someday in heaven. It so much harder being the one left behind.
Sorry for your loss. Great for him that he got to go on his own terms. I had a thread recently about the loss of my former boss, mentor, and very good friend. I've had other friends and family members pass before but this one hit me very very hard. I had seen him about a month before he died on 7/25. He was sick a few weeks before and thought he was recovering. The doctors thought he had an infection followed up by a bad reaction to the medicine. Turns out it was a very rare, very aggressive form of lymphoma. When his son sent me the message that he was on life support, my heart dropped. All I could think about was him lying there and what his family was going through. I was on vacation with my family and couldn't get home in time to say good bye. I did so in my own way and a way that would have made him happy. I sat on the beach, had a beer and a cigarette and listened to "Sky Pilot" a few times. It's all I can still really think about at times. I'm feeling better, 2 weeks since it happened, but I still stop and think about him a lot. All you can do is remember the good times, the lessons you learned, and move on with your life.
Same as what I just wrote. My condolences to you and your family. That line you mentioned is sort of in my sig. My version is a line from the Delta Spirit song "Devil Knows". <iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/FFTlpw4iAp0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
