Just in the framework of what he did wrong, If it's utter disaster or you don't want to go into it, that's okay.
Actually, they probably didn't know I posted on here till a while back, though it isn't like it is against the family laws or anything. I doubt they know how much time I do spend here, though. And I have no limit for the internet, one of the good things I like about my parent. But I will have to go to bed at 10 PM tonight for school. Actually I really appreciate that they make me go to bed rather than letting me just stay up till 2 or 3 and getting 3 or 4 hrs of sleep. I used to hate having a "bed time" but I see how many other kids at school are dead tired and sleepy, and it could probably be shown in their grades. So yet another thing I owe them thanks to. Most of the time, I make sure to tell my mom I love her and stuff like that. She's all happy because her 16 yr old son still says he loves her. I don't really say it that much to my dad, but I do like to hang out with him and I think he understands I love him. I still put I love you on the cards I give him, but I usually don't speak much about my feelings toward him.
I am getting so mad at my parents. I am 24, have a job, can feed myself, and they are still trying to control over my life! They keep teeling me to quit my current job and to go to a graduate school, but that's not what I care to do. Sure I can never become a rich man by my current job, so what? It is not tiring and I can have so much free time to do my own favorite things. I like it. Money don't equal happiness, freedom does. And my mother, she wants me to get married and to have a child asap, but I don't like it neither. I enjoy being single and responsibilitiless, I am not felling ready to take care of others, at least not now. My parents made me promise to call them once a week, but I often fail to call. Why? Don't ever plan my life again during each time I call! Don't ever label me as lazy or irresponsible again! I don't want any one single cent from you, I can feed myself! And don't shed tears again when I say "Please leave me alone!"
I am sure they love me, 100% sure. But the thing is they just love me too much. They want to be pround of their only son. They want me to have a bright future while I hate the feeling of being controled. That's all.
Lots of good responses. The best thing we can do as parents is provide that solid foundation of growth and security so that when the child does "rebel" or encounter problems, that solid foundation is there for a safe return. I tell my oldest (19), "You're only young once, this is the time to enjoy yourself, but not at the expense of your future. You've been taught how to make good decisions. Keep at least one foot on the ground and you'll be ok." Not to mention giving them a whooping a day, whether they need it or not, or just in case they did something you don't know about, will also keep them on their toes.
They did a good job of keeping me focused on education. Well, I'm Asian so that's pretty much a given. At least they didn't make me play the cello or violin. Though I really wish they would've forced piano on me...kinda like the idea of playing it. Anyway, there were no serious talks. The only thing remotely close to the word sex being uttered by my parents was my dad saying to me when I was 8, "No girlfriend until after college." And unfortunately, it's beginning to be true, not by their force, but just because of me. I pretty much literally learned stuff about sex from Skinemax and whatever p*rn I had found on the old satellite system, where basically you could catch on to every channel available. Never talked about drugs, I'm lucky to actually know not to do them. Common sense, I guess. I wished they'd let me have more fun, as in going out more. I was kinda restricted to the house or their work place just due to certain circumstances. They weren't perfect, but I'm glad they're my parents. Awwww.
my parents did pretty good for the most part. both really supportive. my dad was always gone too much growing up (until the divorce...when i was 14) and he worried about money and success more than family and quality time. my mom was pretty good, though she was really strict when she didn't need to be on pointless issues. my dad was a better dad after the divorce and my mom was a better mom afterwards - although there are still minor flaws in both - which is expected, since they are human.
My answer today is the same as it was almost 2 years ago... but them being ****ty parents made me a much better parent.
My parents were ... .just okay. Moderate. THE BAD: They smoked all around the house. For severe punishments Dad would pull off his leather belt and whip my butt with it (Mom always used her shoe or a flyswatter). Dad was prejudiced and drank a lot of beer, but wasn't an alcoholic. He was not affectionate at all. They did a poor job of teaching me about the birds and bees. And though both Mom and Dad were supportive, neither was a guide. I have (so far) managed to avoid all of the above qualities for the rearing of my own child. THE GOOD: that said, Mom and Dad were always a hard workers. They taught me good morals and did a pretty good job of providing me with a solid education. Their marriage has endured 40 years now. Dad never beat mom, and never beat his kids (the belt was only on rare occasions as punishment - he didn't spank us out of his own rage). They stopped smoking just before I became a teen and they never used or abused drugs. Dad has lightened up considerably on his prejudice. I've never doubted their love for me and my two brothers. Things coulda been a LOT worse. Note: One night, when I was a teen, my mom yelled at me, "You are my disappointment. Of my three sons, you are my disappointment!" I don't feel like she ever really meant that - it was just a statement of anger and frustration. But some things never go away. I would recommend to all parents not to allow your anger to get control over you like this (I know that's easy for me to say - my kid's not a teen).
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy - the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really.
My parents were amazing. My father was everything you'd hope for, despite having no model of a father in his own life. My mother loved us so much. And still does. I shouldn't speak in past tense. I'm still very close with my parents. Their influence is huge.
Good: Teaching me about intrinsic characteristics such as unconditional love, patience, compassion, forgiveness, mercy, grace, faith, and sacrifice. Bad: As 1st generation immigrants, their grasp of credit and financial planning wasn't so great.
Overall GOOD I wish they could have been around more and not spent so much time working, but I got more space and in turn I didnt have to rebel against them and get into a bunch of trouble..
My dad died when I was about 4, leaving my mom with four kids to raise on her own. In the years before my dad died he suffered major business set backs, so that we went from being a wealthy family living in Memorial, with a 200 acre ranch in Caldwell, to living in the original modest house my parents purchased after getting married. My mom sold the ranch to cover my dad's hospital bills, which it just did. All of this is to say my mom suffered multiple body blows over a short period of time and picked herself up and went to work and supported her family. I am in awe of her strength. There were certainly rough spots, but all of her children graduated college and are successful in their chosen professions. As far as specific childrearing practices, my mom was too busy as a working single mother to keep close tabs on what we were doing, so by default we had a lot of freedom, way more than myself or my brothers and sister give to our kids. However, her example of strength and responsiblity combined with her warmth and love, more than made up for this. I think this is the most important lesson I took from her as a parent-The example you set, the way you live your life, is way more powerful than any specific "lesson" you try to teach your kids.
My parents were pretty strict and didnt let me get away with alot of stuff. I was pretty disciplined and didnt get everything I wanted. I learned my lessons well because my dad was a hard disciplinarian. My dad made good money but bought me a cheap car and made me work to pay for the insurance. It really taught me the value of a hard earned dollar. We always took alot of family trips during the summers which was cool too.
Right: Freedom, pretty lenient, nice people, no lecturing, popped us when it was necessary, but always followed later on with the "It hurt me more than you". I found out how true that was when I raised my son. Wrong: Led me to believe that they would subsidize my education and then avoided the topic when the time came. I guess filing chapter 11 had a part in that too. No big deal though. I smoked a joint with my Dad on his Birthday the year I moved out. Then we destroyed the Boston Sea Party buffet. Good Times. I've got very down to earth parents. I wouldn't trade them for anything.
