Here's What NBC Would Say About Tonight's Game If They Were Televising It

Okay, I just saw somewhere here that Michael Jordan is going to play tonight, but I think that could still change.

Anyway, if this game was televised by NBC, I could imagine what NBC Sports President, Dick Ebersol would have to say. Maybe an article like this:

(Houston, TX) - "What appeared to be a dream match-up in Steve Francis vs. Michael Jordan has fallen by the wasteside due to a foot injury to Francis. Jordan, bothered by a sore knee, is still questionable to play. Despite getting heavy media coverage and expected to make the Eastern Conference playoffs, the Wizards are struggling at 5-14 right now, and there are whispers that maybe MJ did the wrong thing in coming back but he is too stubborn to admit it. However, no team is struggling as much as the Houston Rockets these days. Losers of their last 7 including a humiliating 30+ loss to the Bulls, the Rockets have had to play without their leading scorer and best player Steve Francis for a couple of weeks now. To make things worse, their 2nd best player, Cuttino Mobley, is still not 100% due to 2 sprained ankles and like Jordan it is questionable on how much he will play tonight, if any.

But, Dick Ebersol, President of NBC Sports is not worried about viewers avoiding this game. On the contrary, Mr. NBC Sports was very upbeat.

'Although, it is disappointing, that both teams are not having the seasons that we envisioned for them, this game should still be an exciting one. Viewers will get to see alot of Oscar Torres vs. Courtney Alexander, and of course, Moochie Norris, with that wild hair of his, against Ty Lue! These guys may be not nationally known but with my announcers, it will be a matter of time before all of America finds out about Tierre Brown and Chris Whitney!'

Ebersol also reminded me that Jordan and Mobley might still play and then said:

'Remember, this game also features 2 former all-stars in Glen Rice and Christian Laettner. That in itself should be exciting! Also, wasn't Walt Williams supposed to be traded for Jahidi White? You get that drama too in this game. Hell, this game has everything! Who would not want to watch it?'

But then it all boiled down to this: I reminded Mr. Ebersol that only die-hard fans would really care about these players and that the majority of the nation would not. He then looked me in the eye and said:

'Our halftime show and our studio analysts are what makes our games so great and entertaining! No one beats Hannah Storm in knowledge or looks (whoops, don't print that). Mike Fratello is not known as the "Czar of the Telestrator" for nothing! Jayson Williams is destined to be the next Cedric the Entertainer, and finally you have my main man, Pete Vecsey! He is what makes our show so great and what makes it work! I always love it when he comes up with those crazy-ass trade rumours! (*chuckles*) It is even better when people dispute him and his sources and he goes off on them in the paper! I bet $100 that he is despised by sports fans all over the country. I wouldn't be surprised if someone started a post on a BBS titled, "Peter Vecsey Is a Complete Ass!" Ahhhhh. See, this should be a great game and fun time for all. You'd be crazy to miss it!'

With that being said, I was speechless and thus ends my story."

 

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