help? (fighting, and then NEVER EVER EVER POSTING ABOUT IT AGAIN)

In the immortal words of Phillip Drummond,

"Fighting never solves anything!"

Try to solve your differences another way, if you can.

 

so much testosterone.... here's a chick tip - if he's got long enough hair to grab, use it! It's a good way to direct his motion.

 

And keep repeating the phrase "I'm from Hollywood".

 

AS your walking up tell him, "This is going to be the hottest fight ever" - then pinch his ass.

 

it takes a stronger man to turn the other cheek.

and if you're too weak to do that, mace stings like holy hell.

 

To steal a line from Dane Cook, if you're white, just keep wiping your mouth, and saying all right let's go, let's do this...etc etc.

If you're black, just get a big posse and while you stand there looking all statuesque have your boys run cirlces around you hooting and hollering that your opponent will get his arse kicked.

Fight as dirty as possible.

Good luck, man I wish people fought more often and didn't sue each other afterwards...

 

Where's Bama when you need him?

I was in a few fights as youth, my record was 1-2 but never in any adult bar fights. Due to a lack of killer instinct I got my ass kicked a lot worse than I kicked. Fights don't really last very long, not like in the movies. I was in really good shape when I fought but I can remember being totally exhausted in 30 seconds. Also, even in the fight I won, it hurt like hell afterwards; the ones I lost I was black and blue for weeks. So make sure your cause is worth it.

A friend who has been in a lot of fights told me to go for the marine choke hold right off. Run at him, get in close and grab his windpipe and squeeze. At this range you can use your free arm to whack him with your elbow preferably on the nose and eyes.

I guess there are levels of seriousness involved in fighting, high school wrestling, bar flailing (fists and kicking), street mayhem (bats and knives), real warfare (guns). You better know what level your opponent has in mind. Most people have little capacity for physical violence unless pushed beyond choice so most civilian confrontations stay verbal. But there are people that have few limits on their capacity for violence. Given the chance, you can often see the clues of their anti-social behavior. But there are those psycopaths that have no limits and no clues.

You could just call 911 and report a disturbance before your meet and let the cops show up. No one gets hurt, you save face, you got a story to tell.

Good Luck, let us know how it goes.

 

I love how the two European responses suggest to avoid the fight and question the maturity of the participant!!
What has happened to the once-esteemed European culture?!?!??


Seriously though there's really no benefit to fighting somebody.

 

"I MUST BREAK YOU."

 

Fighting is not the answer.




I think fights usually last less than a minute, although I was once in a fight that lasted ten minutes.

Anyways, try to avoid it at all costs, but if you have to fight, I wish you good luck and also, tickle his balls.

 

If you want it to end quickly, wait till goes to throw a punch move either lt or rt and then straight arm him in the throat. He will immediately grab his throat so you can then stomp on his leg aiming at his interior knee this will either cause him to fall or tear a knee ligament. You can then proceed to kick him in the ribs because once those break he will no longer fight again.

 

SO this guy somehow gets in a tricky situation and has to fight this legend street fighter, named Balrog. he's nervous as all hell and his friends are trying to give him as much help as possible. One of his friends says,
"Balrog is infamous for his pretzel hold, you'd better avoid that, otherwise you're screwed, so keep your distance"

So the fight starts off, and the guy manages to keep his distance from Balrog for a minute. All of a sudden, quick as lightning, Balrog lunges and grabs him.

Its the pretzel lock! the audience knows that its pretty much over in a few seconds.
All of a suddenBalrog goes flying in the air, 5-6 feet off the ground, and lands with a heavy thud on the ground. everyone edges closer and finds him completely knocked out.

The guy's friends are going up to him and asking him how he got out of the pretzel lock.

"well, i pretty much thought i was done, when i opened my eyes and saw this lump in front of me. using my last resource i bit into that lump as hard as i could, knowing it was my only chance."

"you bit balrog in the nuts?"his friend asks

"not exactly. you would never realize how much strength you can get after getting chomped in the balls."

 

It's better to fight and run away so you may live to run away another day.

 

Bobby Hill?



Great story Nyquil.

My advice is to show up wearing a silk robe with your nickname written on the back in glitter. Have an assistant take your robe from you. When you are derobed, your opponent will see you are wearing a G-string, and nothing else. Make sure your body is well oiled for the match.
You can do that or show up in a loincloth with blood and mud smeared on your face in war paint patterns.
Or you can enlist the aid of Tanya Harding's friend....the fight is over before it starts.
Or offer to shake his hand, and then poke him in the eyes. Then cup your hands, in one strong motion, hit him with those cupped hands around the ears. This should create enough pressure in the eardrum to put him on the ground and possibly rupture them. While he is on the ground, turn him on his belly, then do the "Fish Hook" on him. All you do is take your index finger, slide it in his mouth, and hook his cheek and pull down and out. If you do the fish hook properly, he won't be able to bite you. You could also do both sides, creating the "Double Fish Hook."
Once you are done whipping his ass, go to his house, loot it, take all his valuables as your loot, then take his mom and sisters, one slung over your shoulder of course, and go back to your house. They are now your prisoners as you have one. Oh, and don't forget to set his whole village (neighborhood) ablaze.

 

how old are?
is it gonna be at school?

always follow this tip, if the fight is at school let him hit you first, cause if you get caught fighting just say he hit you first and you were defending your self.and if he is kicking your ass , i got 3 words.... SWIFT. KICK. NUTS. .

 

eh... i doubt it happens... lots of "yeah i'll see you by the flag pole on monday" fights kind of just fade.

but if it does i wanna know if these tips did you any good.

 

Ah ClutchBBS Hangout... for Sports, Entertainment News, Wacky Websites.... and Fight Tips... it's a beautiful thing.

 

gatta love it

 

Piss yourself.

He won't want to get anywhere near you.

 

"Everybody pees their pants, it's the coolest!"