Buy a PS3, Wii or X-Box and a few good games. Immerse yourself in mindless entertainment for a week or so.
Ahh he'll be alright... I've gone through it once too... since then I've learned a lot, I changed many of my habbits, realized really what I wanted to do...so it really had a positive effect on me...I personally think people are easy to see through, especially twofaced people like Drexlerfan22 now ex-girlfriend, he didn't see it coming so he has to pay a little price...
I feel you man. The only thing that's really going to help is time. But you should spend as much time with friends as humanly possible. Good luck, friend. It sucks massive balls. Remember too that other people are in the same boat as you.
She doesn't deserve a good man like you. You are comparing her to the others you have been out with. You will find a much better woman. Time will heal your injuries. Have faith and good things will happen.
dude, set yourself free. i'm sure you can find a couple of friends to go with you and they will take of you and show you the ropes. its just money man you don't have to drop $$$$, just play, eat, party and gamble. reward yourself.
wow......you were better off just not commenting i hate when women do this crap...but i'll just leave it at that i hope you get through this man
Marriage and kids would be WAY MORE emotionally damaging and financially draining So be glad that didnt happen - she did you a favor. Reconnect with your family and friends if they're around and accessible. And rediscover the you that enjoyed the freedom of life. The unattached spontaneity of life you/we lived as youths. Don't get into the "I'm __ age and ___ SHOULD have happened by now" type of thinking, cuz it doesnt matter and it varies person to person. Settle when you've experienced all that you've wanted to experience and attained all your goals. Definitely don't totally hold in all the emotion and act like an iron man cuz that will only add stress and turn yourself into a head case like her. But don't let em see you sweat either. The best revenge is to do better for yourself than what you had. Having a prettier girl especially, more success in your job/career, better body, nicer material possessions, etc...DO NOT TAKE HER BACK. Don't be too bitter about it all, but if you have to vent its okay to take it out on women. You might find they actually get attracted to that lol
Shroopy is right. you need to look at the positive. an old coworker got in a messy divorce (they had a kid) and it ended up costing him $35k in lawyer fees. I told him, dude i'm sorry man. he said, why be sorry? the $35k bought me happiness.
See, I think I could handle it better if she was acting like that, calling me all the time. I could tell her to back off. But she's not doing that. She doesn't even want to talk much, really. The last few days were the last few when we were sorta hammering things out, and that's when she was giving me the "maybe sometime down the line" thing. Now she expects to not make any kind of real effort to smooth things over. Just kind of dump me by the side of the road and pick me back up if she doesn't find anything better. She figures that given the level of dedication to her I showed while we were together, that I'll be there years down the line if she wants me, regardless of how she treats me right now. So she doesn't avoid me or seek me out. She just kind of ignores me and/or doesn't care about me in the here and now anymore. Of course, I'm not gonna be waiting for her years down the line. But she thinks I will, no matter what I say to her right now. I have a strong feeling she's going to try to get friendly with me again in a couple months, when she realizes I wasn't kidding about not waiting around for her. And by then it will be too late, naturally. About the "right woman" thing... I'm actually finding so far that I feel the reverse is true. I'm finding my standards are unbearably high because I can't even remember that last girl I met who came close to having all the things she had to offer me. And then there's the looks, haha. She really wasn't what you'd call "classically beautiful." Didn't look like a model or anything. But to me she looked better than a model... she looked just right to me. Can't even describe it. I know there are many other women out there, but still... hard to find one that fits you like that. I've heard it said that people of similar body types tend to attract, and I'd say that was us. Against my better judgment, I keep wondering if I should give her the time of day if she snaps out of this really fast (like a few weeks), but anything past that, you better believe I'll be telling her what she can do with her sweet talk. The toughest thing for me about that is that all the kind of social niches, social groups that I was a part of are now hers too, and she ain't moving from any of them. She's not sacrificing anything she does to get that separation (because while it's obviously painful for me to be around her, the reverse isn't true), and so it almost feels like I have to choose between either doing the things I always did before I met her and having her be there, or changing myself just to avoid her. And I'm not saying she would run up and talk to me (see above), but I just really don't wanna be in the same room with her. It sucks. I really appreciate the thoughts, but I have to say that the biggest part of what makes this so hard is that she still has just about every quality I want in a partner. You say that her bad qualities were being "fickle, low self esteem, ungrateful, and not really someone you should put your trust in." The problem is, she was none of those things when I was with her. I'm just not sure why this happened. It's honest-to-god like aliens came down and abducted the woman I loved and replaced her with something totally different. For years straight she wasn't fickle, her self-esteem was fine after an initial bad period (and it's still very good... in fact it seems to be what enabled her to dump me, like I've said), she was very grateful, and very trustworthy. Truly she was. Then all of a sudden, in this last week, BAM! Crazy selfish succubus mode. So I keep wondering if crazy selfish succubus mode will go away at some point and the woman I love will resurface, but obviously there's no way to know that right now. And yeah, I am gonna have to watch that this doesn't ruin my ability to trust people, because it doesn't get any more out-of-left-field than this. Well she has nearly as much dating experience as me though. And the last one WAS the a-hole prick. The guy basically abused her. So I wonder if this situation doesn't harken back to that abusive relationship somehow... Already have a PS3. Not doing anything for me right now, unfortunately. Gee, thanks for that. You're such a wonderful person. Your mother would be so proud. I went with my two best friends the first time (the ones who are now in Canada). It's honestly just not my thing. Really.
I seldom post bro but here's an interesting book for you.. Interesting book by Scott Adams (Dilbert) Short, filled with many interesting ideas and gets your mind thinking.. Probably off matters you don't want to be thinking about right now. Wish you find someone better and cope well with this, like some have said, time heals. Good luck and move on.
do u like nfl football? sports betting is fun! seriously, u got to do vegas right, i've heard of people doing vegas wrong. but anyways, the best thing for you to do is go on vacation. go a place where you can be entertained. Go where the weather is good.
50 million women out there, and yet I see this pining stuff all the time. Here are the facts: There isn't a "soulmate" for you and there never has been. If a woman does these things, I find it laughable that you say she has all the qualities you like, unless you like getting screwed. She made her bed. Let her sleep in it. As far as dating again, do it quickly. In my experience, the shotgun approach tends to work best when I'm out dating. I honestly keep forgetting dates I've set with women due to my preferring some women over others.
VOLUNTEER Help somebody else; it will take your mind off your own troubles and give you some valuable perspective. Don't wallow in this; while some grieving is natural, nothing will help you to outpace this like the DECISION to get over it.
My roommate is going through something very similar. I'd give you some advice but honestly the best advice has already been posted. Try hanging out with friends, try finding a hobby (people have posted specific ideas but it can be anything - do what you enjoy) Some people do weightlifting, some volunteer, a friend of mine got into meditation and yoga (also a nice way to meet women), etc.. Just find ways to occupy time. The more time you occupy, the less time spent thinking about her. Just understand, that many people on this board have had big bad breakups (maybe not as bad as yours but definitely similar things) and we all had the terrible emotional let downs that ate us up. And for me personally, hobbies, focusing on my work, and friends got me through it. You seem like a stand-up guy so I know you'll be fine. Keep your head up, just take it one day at a time.
My fiance & I broke up 2yrs ago. It wasn't easy @ 1st. We share the same circle of friends (my business partner is her brother, she's employed by one of my friends, etc...). Though i initiated the break-up, i had a tough time dealing w/the emptiness that followed. The best solution/revenge is living well. Enjoy yourself. Try new things (ever learned to ride a motorcycle, play the piano/guitar?). Once you attach yourself to a new activity totally unassociated w/your ex, you will see your outlook begin to change. It took me 2 months to get to this stage; largely because i enjoyed the melancholy & sadness i found myself in directly folowing the break-up. Hiring a hot escort to the next social event she'll be attending isn't bad either. No really, hire one. oh, couple more things.............. NEVER, EVER CALL HER! If she calls you to make arrangements or for a question, be civil, polite & helpful (hard but you must). When the conversation is over, you'll begin to feel the shift in your attitude. NEVER, EVER SPEAK ILL OF HER TO OTHERS! Better to take the high road. It also makes you look bitter and pathetic & that's not attractive.
Drexler, Sorry to hear about that; I knew you had been seeing her for a long time. I can't even imagine what you are going through. I know someone else has already said it and it is cliched, but just be glad that this happened before marriage. I think about what would happen to me and my life if my marriage doesn't work out - it wouldn't be pretty at all. What I would do if I was you is find a hobby that can help ease the pain and take your mind off of her (although that won't happen completely). For me when I was feeling down and out, I would really hit the weights hard (which I know is not an option for you), listen to music pretty heavy, and get into watching movies. Now, you probably don't want to get into buying over a 1000 CDs( ), but seriously, music and discovering new music helped me so much get through times of loneliness. And I will also say that I think, personally, the last thing you need to do is chase after some other woman. So many people want to immediately get back on the horse instead of taking some time off to themselves. The right woman will come and she will come when you least expect it; I know that to be true. Hang in there.
You're obviously a talented writer Drex. Why not write the story from the beginning, but make up a cool ending that includes the rescue of your ex, killing Amel in the process. I'd read that. Good luck Sir, and I do think you should write everything down in story form... it's great therapy.
Wow, you sound so much like me this is scaring the crap outta me! I'm 28, with an extremely messed up back that will require surgery soon, and I went through a very rough divorce last year. Basically my situation was somewhat similar to yours, except I was married and she cheated with my best friend. Seriously send me an email through the bbs if you want to talk about things. All this happened with me last August, so the wounds are still fresh (and still not completely healed to be honest). I know how tough it is to find someone to relate to in this situation, so please feel free to contact me. For reference, here is the thread on my situation last year: http://bbs.clutchfans.net/showthread.php?t=117083
