My stepfather was never physically imposing, but he had a loud overpowring voice and would hit me occasionally when I was a kid. He called me a mama's boy and teased me a lot growing up, and never really cared for anything I did. I lived in the same house as him for 14 years and we only spoke to each other out of necessity. When I was 19 years old I yelled at my brother to stop kicking my bedroom wall. I was pissed and I went in there and told me to knock it off before I kick his ass. My stepdad came down the hall furious and yelled at me, expecting me to back down in fear like I had done my entire life. Instead I just stood there glaring into his face. He got right up close to me and stared me down, angered that I wasn't submitting to his authority. Then he punched me in the chest. I stood there another minute or so and then I went into my room kind of in a daze. He tried to apologize later but I told him he should save it because there was no excuse for that. I feel like I won the fight without lifting a finger.
My father and I have exchanged words a number of times. Physically we've had a couple of things. I gave him a bloody nose once in the face, by squeezing the hell out of his nose. Another time I punched him after he was gloating about beating me in a game of NBA Jam that he won with a last second full court heave for 3. He then backhanded me across the room. I think I was 10 or so. Then once he backhanded me in the face while I was driving and chipped my tooth. Never got into a full on fight. It is a lose-lose situation. Sports are a much better way to channel your energy. I loved it when I started beating him at everything. Great days.
Now that I think of it, my dad was teaching me the first steps of boxing, when I was about six (yes, six), and I bloodied his nose something awful. I was like crying I felt so bad, but he was laughing eventually (once his corner revived him, that is.)
I never did, but I remember thinking that I could whip him for a while. I was about 16 and pretty strong. He was 46. Then one day I said something smart ass to him as we were sitting in his truck. He hit me open-handed on the back of my head and rang my bell. I never had any allusions about fighting him after that.
Does anybody (with kids) feel that there is going to be an inevitable time when you and your son might throw down in the future? My son is 4 and should be out of his terrible 2's period but is a hellion. And I promise you hellion is an understatement. I have 6 nieces and nephews and plenty of friends with kids so don't think I don't know about kids. He pushes buttons and knowingly disobbeys constantly. He doesn't even care if he get spankings, he will stop for a minute then go back to doing what ever he wants. Now he is probably acting out cuz his mom has been in the big house for a few months now. But he can not be contained. Mostly when he is around me. He knows things make me mad and does them anyway. I love him to death but I feel he will give me a heartattack in a few years. Well at least we won't have to fight if I have a heart attack. I also have a 2 year old but he is a little calmer. He is just regular hyper active.
A picture of me when I was 10 yrs old, in my work attire, like my tie? I solved all my problems with that tool in my hands...works wonders.
I think I was 7. I took of running thinking he would kill me, but ultimately we got a good laugh out of it.
I guess I need to start accepting that my house will be forever trashed and my stuff will continuously get broken. LOL
Never have, never will. Honestly, even with hormones and confusion, I couldn't ever imagine trying to hurt a man that raised me, worked hard to provide for me, my mom, and brother and tried to steer my life in a good direction. Rite of passage or not, there should be a little thing called respect and gratitude along the way... Now if he was some SOB that was always drunk that beat us up and was never there...I wouldn't see it so much as a rite of passage but a little thing called payback...
Funny that this thread came up.... I never had the best relationship with my father growing up and it only has been in the last 3 to 4 years that we have gotten along on a consistent basis, mainly since I have been married and rarely see him as much as I used to. I was very afraid of my father despite being taller than him (my dad has always been very strong for his size) and it wasn't until I was 16 or 17 that my fear of him went away, yet I still never even consider getting in a fight with him. However, around late October 2004, we had a very bad argument. It was over if I could keep his dog on Halloween (I rarely got trick or treaters which wasn't the case with my folks) or not and I was mad that he just assumed I would be available as I had made plans to do something with a friend of mine that night. We got into a shouting match and he said something that pissed me off so I responded with a smartass comment back at him. He got up out of his chair and glared at me and bowed up. However, not only was I taller than him but this was back when I was working out like a madman and could bench around 300 and my arms were big as pythons. So when he looked up and saw how much bigger I was than him, he thought twice and sat back down and told me to get out of his house. He later admitted to my mom that he was tempted to throw a punch at me but he was afraid that I would absolutely knock him into next week! That revelation actually made me sad as it was father's way of admitting that he was actually afraid of me in a physical sense. I mean I know my dad isn't perfect but I really couldn't seeing myself knocking him out. Meanwhile, I got really angry with my father-in-law (long story, not going to get into it) last night and I really think if he was there in person running his mouth to me like he was on the phone, I would have slugged him. I had to hang up on him because I wasn't going to be provoked in saying something that could come back to haunt me. Having in-laws can really suck sometimes.
