gay people refer to it as a lifestyle because being gay becomes your life. you do realize gay men are kind of excluded from straight male sexual activities? also, i'm sure you know most gay men have completely different tastes than straight men. most gay men have many more things in common with gay men than they do straight men. sorry to sound stereotypical, but its pretty much been true for me. i think omega supreme and this one other gay guy i have met have an interest in sports like me, and trust me i have met a lot of gay guys so its not like i have a small sample size. anyhow...there is no gay person i know who picked being gay over being straight. that is how they are. AB couldn't just decide to be gay one day and neither could I, because we aren't built that way. We probably both stare at women when they walk by, but we don't stare at men and think about spending a romantic night with them and that is not just going to change. i think this thread title is still similar to hanging out with women if you want to compare it to anything. not hanging out with mexicans or hanging out with conservatives, but somewhere in between. either way...it's not offensive to me.
Another Brother, If I was the gay friend, I would have taken offense to the comments. As others have expressed, if they are truly friends that you accept the way they are.
among my closest friends in law school was a gay black guy. we had some similar music tastes and we were both huge proponents of Houston. i found him to be a good friend and a good person. we had lots of interesting discussions because of our differences. i've lost touch with him, though, since graduation from law school. i had two friends in high school who were gay. one was my best friend as a little kid...at like age 6. he is adamant that homosexuality was his choice...and he's proud of the choice he made. certainly a different take. it's all about shared interests i presume....when that best friend and i from 6 years old grew out of playing with star wars toys, we kinda lost touch. i started playing sports...he got very involved with the drama group. i always went to his plays...and always cheered like crazy when he took his bow...but we didn't hang out much anymore after that. the guy from law school and i definitely had some similar interests and that gave us something to talk about...that, and we were diametrically opposed on the political spectrum, which made for fun debate. one day, that guy from law school said, "you know...you've already made probably the most important decision in your life...who you're going to marry...who you're going to spend the rest of your life with." he said it quite sincerely...and the moment still sticks with me. people are people. you can find something lovable in just about anyone, can't you? that doesn't mean you have to agree with them on everything...you don't even have to agree with that lifestyle...but you can still be friends...particularly if there's some common interests.
I think it's very rare for lesbians to see themselves as men. Some may have the look or even act masculine, but its just to fit in with society. Lesbians that don't care for men socially are known as "radical feminists"...they see men as the problem, feel that men are superior and shouldn't be. This is the case that I have seen with the few <i>true</i> lesbians that i have been around. Then there are those women who just fool around...has nothing to do really with men.
True...I was just replying to where Jeff said that some lesbians do not care for men socially or otherwise.
Cool. I have many gay friends. I'd guess that fully half of my women friends from college identify as queer. None of them consider themselves men or masculine. Some are butch but that's not really the same thing.
Certainly not all, but they're not leading the charge for a Constitutional amendment either. That's actually part of the conservative agenda apparently.
I was simply applying what you said, using race and sexuality interchangeably, to another situation. Maybe it's not quite as simple and it may never be until we can affirm conclusively whether or not the vast majority of homosexuals are simply born that way instead of choosing to be that way. Once choice can be largely ruled out, then I think the situations become much more similar. I believe they are born that way so that's where my position comes from.
Insightful comments... The gay dude I reference is coming to my home tonight for an impromptu pre-Christmas cocktail gathering. I will let him read the stir he's caused and allow him to post his impression. That's assuming that he doesn't kick my ass first.
Catholic Democrats cant support Gay Marriage as its an impossibility. A Marriage is made only between a Man and a Woman. So gays might get the Rights of a Civil Union but cant be married!
Whoooooahh partner. That's a whole other debate, and a long nasty one at that. Keep in mind that the anti-gay crowd uses the "choice" argument to back up their stance. Sounds to me like you also think being gay is a choice. Ask your friend what he thinks of that. No way in hell any gay person chooses to be gay. No way. Ask your friend. I could go off on this for a long time (and I have before in here) but I don't want to derail the thread. "The lifestyle", if anything, is a reminder that being gay isn't just something you do in your bedroom. It's who you are. By the way, I've almost never heard a gay dude refer to it as "the lifestyle." I believe the swingers crowd uses that term more often. I'm an opera singer, and in this business I know literally hundreds of openly gay guys, I'm friends with dozens, and good friends with at least 10. _________________ Now, to get back to the original point of the thread, I want to say that from what your straight buddy said in the car, his problem isn't that your other friend acts gay, it's that he is gay. He might as well face up to the fact and admit it. Now, on the other hand, there are times when the ultra queeny dudes really go out of their way to do really loud Streisand impersonations, RuPaul quotes, etc. Sometimes it's the relief of being in a crowd that won't judge them (they think,) sometimes it might be an advertisement (although gayboys have gaydar that can detect another gayboy in a crowded room and determine if they're a bottom or a top in like 0.45 seconds,) or they might just be hyper. But when it gets out of control, it bugs me. But it's the same kind of thing annoys me when diva chicks get hyper and obnoxious and have to be really loud in a crowded restaurant when I'm just not feeling it. If your straight friends tries to be "okay" with the fact that your gay friend is gay, but just can't deal with it when he "acts" like it, whether it's an unpleasant reminder or because he'd be embarrassed to be seen in public with an openly gay dude, then he just needs to come to terms with the fact that he's not comfortable or totally accepting of his friend being gay and just talk about it.
Of all my friends, my favorite (and my wife's too) to hang out with are a gay couple. These two guys are the best people I know. Period. You don't realize how many negative things are said about gay people until you find yourself greatly caring for someone who is gay. I find myself having to stick up for gays all the time.
