Hanging out with gays

I don't know that thread, or at least I can't remember. But if we are on the same side of the card, are we not in agreement?

 

Its funny how these threads start out with so much promise and then get so testy.....

I could care less about anyone's sexual preference, gay or straight...what they do in the bedroom is not my business.

My only exception to my indifference to anyone's sexual behavior would be if they mess with little girls or boys, in which case I am 100% in favor of beating the living crap out of them. (Sorry..that lead story on the news tonight just really bummed me out)

 

I have a serious question.
Do lesbians treat/see guys as the "same sex" as they are? I mean, since lesbians likes girls, so lesbians would of course think of guys as "not the opposite sex", right?

Then, if that is the case, lesbians wouldn't mind being naked in front of guys. Is that true? I really don't know. Since I've never really known any gays nor lesbians.

 

Well since many, many conservative groups including Republican congressmen, senators, and the President of the United States are openly talking about seeking a Constitutional Amendment to ban gay marriage simply on the basis of the parties being gay, I would hope you'd write your Congressman and express your offense to this rampant discrimination pervasive among many conservatives. I mean if it were a Constitutional Amendment banning black marriage then would they be offended?

 

In general, I would immediately react to this question with disdain, but I had a personal experience which, while qualified, I must admit wasn't handled by me as I would hope someone else would.


When I was around HS age, I made a really great friendship with this guy who was very popular in the music scene, and had been friends of friends for a while, but I had never really known. He lived pretty nearby, had a pool and cool parents, and he and I quickly became really good friends to a point where he would have easily been among my 'best friends' for well over a year.

Then he started acting weird, and it came to a head when he kept asking me if I'd checked in my napsac...when I did, there was a 10-page letter basically telling me


A) He was gay
B) He was in love with me.
C) Other friends knew, but he had begged them not to tell me until he did, and had in fact asked them to introdice us.


It was a very open and vulnerable letter, and told me that while it would really hurt him if I rejected him as a friend, he had reconciled that there was no way I was gay, but wanted to clear this up.

My immediate reaction was confused, but I knew I had no problem with A...what I had a problem with was B, C, and the fact that he had lied to me for so long. I mena, we had spent hours talking about girls, etc., and now it all seemed fake. On the other hand, because I knew him so well, knew what a nice person he was, and was aware how hard it must be to be gay, so I was sympathetic. I told him it was ok, just that I wished he hadn't lied to me, and that if he hdan't, there would never have been any problem at all.

BUT...and I truly think this was more as a result of B than A, I noticed that when he called me to ask me to come over and hang out, as we always had before, I would ask if others were going to be there, and if they weren't, I;d be reluctant. Eventually, as I had issues with women back then, in terms of being very promiscouso, playing head games, etc., he started berating me on my treatment of women, one in particular, and was uncomfortable with the fact that his sister and I were interested in each other...and we began arguing all the time, and our friendship dissolved.

In fairness to myself, I have aways been extremely uncomfortable around women who were openly into me when it wasn't mutual, and I think that this was no different. Also, I had had a similar experience with a girl when I was about 15 ( best friends, she didn't tell me she was really into me until a year later, felt betrayed) and in that case it fell apart soon after as well, so I don't think it was the homosexual aspect...but it might have added to it. To this day I regret the way I handled it, especially in that it was sort of passive aggressive, and I normally pride myself on being assertive. If B or C bothered me so much, I shouldn't have told him "No problem" and then avoided being alone with him...so I am unsure if there was a minor homophobic factor there.

On the other hand, a very, very close relative is gay, and he and I are just about best firends, and his acting 'gay' has never bothered me, although he doesn;t seem gay to most people.

 

I've had a few friends who were lesbians and they absolutely do NOT see themselves as men. In some cases, they actually don't care for men at all socially or otherwise. They just like other women for relationships and sex.

I remember reading somewhere that it was far more common for gay men to identify themselves with women than it was for lesbians to identify themselves with men. Lots of lesbians - my friends included - still dressed and behaved like most straight women and they identified with the female gender.

 

hahaha! that happened to me on the way back from sf to atl. drank as much free booze as i could. i kept hinting that i was taken at the time though. he still wouldn't leave me alone and he ended up giving me his phone number right before we landed. yeah... if it bothers you any... don't pay the flirting any mind... just show your appreciation of the upgrade and enjoy the free food, booze, extra leg room, and the mini tv/with remote.

if i were told i acted to black or acted too gay i'd take offense to both equally though it's never been a problem. stereotypes

 

dude, you think i'm gay, don't you?

 

My wife and I have had dinner many times with our gay friends. They respect us as we respect them. They both act gay, but I dont think they can control how they act......it simply doesnt bother us.

 

Hey OmegaSupreme, as you said you are gay, is it kind of understandable what I wrote why I would not be very happy to be hit on by another guy? Just read it again and I understood what I meant, but not sure if you could relate or if you would find my thoughts offensive? Thanks!

 

Sorry, "discriminate" was perhaps too strong a word, but I'm still struggling with the whole thrust of this thread, and your point about how "being black" is different from "choosing gay." don't mean to be obstuse, but i'm just not sure what you mean.

As far as Macbeth's essay about his friend, I think it's important to distinguish between the confusion most people feel about sex during adolesence, and attitudes propogated by mature adults. Many people experiment sexually during their teens (I had a very fulfilling releationship with a vacum cleaner when I was 15! ), and are genuinely confused about who they're attracted to, and for what reasons. As adults, we should be able to understand that while we may not be attracted to people of the same sex, "not liking" someone because they act/are gay is wrong, just as not liking someone on the basis of their race is wrong. People should be judged for who they are, not for who they sleep with, or what color they are, or what sex. My wife and I have several gay friends, of both sexes. Conversely, there are many gay people I just don't care for, but it's not because they're gay.

As for Timing's point about the Marriage amendment, I am against it, but, like the abortion debate, I don't think the issue is quite as simple as you've made it seem. Personally, I think any couple, of any sex should be allowed to have the rights and responsibilities associated with marriage, whether it's called that or called "domestic partnership" is another issue. We should be doing everything in our power to strenghthen true "family values" and encourage anyone who truely wants to start a family- as long as it's not the manson family!

in short- discrimination is wrong, whether it's against gay people in the form of denying them benefits, against blacks or women in the form of denying them better jobs, or against white men in the form of affirmative action.

 

This is quite possibly the most disturbing and at the same time one of the funniest things I have ever read here...

 

By the way, this reminds me of this friend of mine who did his civil service in a hospital, and they had a guy come in who had a similar relationship, only that that vacuum cleaner unfortunately had some mechanism to shred whatever it sucked in into little pieces, and that mechanism was very close to the opening of the vacuum cleaner (true story).

Therefore, if you are inspired by basso's revelation - KIDS, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

 

As i recall, I got the inspiration from penthouse forum- had fairly detailed instructions...ah, well, any port in a storm, right?

 

From what I see on TV ,the movies and visits to America it must be very difficult not to be friends with Homosexuals in America there are so many of them!

 

Where are you live?