And yet you just surmised the same thing I did. Nice. And for the record, I realized I deeply cared for my (then girlfriend) wife when I found myself jealous of another male's interest in her. Nothing wrong with that. It's natural to a degree. Obsession is the indicator of insecurity and unhealthy behavior, as I originally intimated. Semantics.
The other evening, the cleaning lady picked up my favorite pen that I thought I lost. As she laid it on my desk she smiled. She wanted me bad....oh man. If she wasnt 56 and didnt have 7 kids ............ it would be on! Tell your dude to take you trick or treating this year....lets see what he does. Trick or Treat mutha.....!
It depends on the context of the gift, I think we don’t know enough to make an accurate analysis.. So my answer to your question of if I would be mad or jealous is.. Maybe, maybe no..
I never tell my husband when gets flirt with me, because he's soooo jealous (and because it doesn't matter because nothing happens with other guys). I think most guys are jealous honestly. I don't care what they say.
Okay, here’s an update. My gansta boo went to work with me this morning and waited in the car with me until the janitor guy came to work. As soon the janitor got out of the car, my boo went and asked him, “why did you have to give her crappy candy? If you had to give her candy, it better be some Godiva!” and proceed to beat him to a pulp and kissed me good bye and went to work. Oh, I have a strong man! I’m in love. Maybe I was looking into this too much but it isn’t Halloween candy…it’s a bag of Hershey Kisses, Reese Pieces and little bars. I’m still 12, what you talking about?? Read above. Too late, my dude whupped his ass. To be fair, I have no clue if the dude is married and I don’t care…I accepted because it was nothing but CANDY, freaking candy. If it was flowers or more than candy, then I wouldn’t have accepted it. So you’re saying I can’t have conversations with guys at work because I’m “married”. Get real! I have convos with my co worker who is a rockets fanatic like me and I talk with male team members in my group when it comes to work or life. Am I wrong? No. As long, we keep it platonic then it’s all good. I already ate the candy…oh noes, what am I going to do? Real update: Mr. Lady di asked for my candy and I told him I ate most of it and gave the rest to other co-workers. He said, “what about me???” Lol. I asked him if he got jealous and he denied it at first then admitted that he was teeny jealous but he wasn’t worried about it. Well, at least, he isn’t crazy jealous. If the same guy gives me candy again then I’ll decline. As long it is one time thing then I’ll take the candy.
Jealous over cookies/candy? Nope. Neither he nor I get jealous at others for something trivial like that. Lunch? Maybe.
My wife gets food and snacks from her male underlings* all the time. Hell, she catches them looking at her boobs practically on a daily basis. I don't really care. I actually think it's kind of funny. These guys have the mentality of a bunch of kindergarteners, so I don't worry. *She's a kindergarten teacher
I will say this: Jokingly or not, your boyfriend/fiance told you he does not like this type of behavior. While it reeks of jealousy, this is your bed to sleep in. Do not mention these incidents to him anymore, regardless of whether you choose to accept or decline.
guys are protective of their gals dont tell him stuff thats trivial janitor giving you candy most likely will not amount to anything, so no need to share that with your boo
The mentality of too many chicks that is annoying. "I don't care what you say, I know what you're thinking even if you say the opposite. There, I'm right."
is this an exact quote? are you dating lil john? does he always talk like that or only when he gets jealous? What exactly is "high roller candy"? why does "that dude" need to know that only "fine people" get things for free? what does that even mean? sorry, that quote just brought up too many questions
uh oh...i hope no one thinks i'm a flirt... I use to bring unwanted cookies, candy and cakes here to the office all the time and give them out. That was way back when we were cleaning out our pantry of "fatty" items.
Different story.. I think in this case, the guy actually bought something and gave it to her. And gave the entire thing to her..
That is a very good question that requires me to search within. Personally, it would cause me to think and that's not always a good thing. I might first feel uncomfortable, because my first instinct is that my perimeter was breached. My property invaded. My food handled. This is only because I have an ability to become insecure. Birth does not come with a manual on living and if one may have been abandoned in their youth, life can be a lonely experience. Because of such, I might have attached myself to the first woman I could, because I didn't know any better but to believe it was "love at first sight". In hindsight, it was a 20 year lesson. Painful at times. Amazing how you can look back on things of the past a make sense out of them, when you are so desperately searching for solutions at the time. Truth is always exposed at the right time. I just couldn't figure out why this person didn't appreciate my ability to offer solutions. Sure she might have just wanted someone to listen, understand, and care. That's all fine and well, but I have a solution and if you heed my advice you stand to not make careless mistakes. It was my way of compensating for my own weaknesses that I was afraid to expose. In essense, I was only honest, if I could get something in return. The result was a lack of communication. It is important to love someone for who they are. You set boundaries and then you live. If it doesn't work, there are people more suited to provide help than me. We search for outside perspective, because our perspective is only our own and it's not working. My answer? Yes I do feel upset. It is only because I spent more years worrying about stuff like that than I didn't. Does it affect me as much? No. But that initial feeling is not good. It makes me question everything, instead of trusting the one who means the most to me. Sure... This guy may have questionable motives, but it starts with the one receiving the gift. They can respond with something like, "That is very nice of you, but you see, I am in a relationship with someone that I care for very much. He provides me all the candy I need." But you see, that wasn't what happened. Instead the giftee accepted the gift. This now creates a dynamic between the gifter and giftee. The gifter might believe that a courtship has begun; Similar to how his father met his mother. Not because the giftee actually was similar to his mother (perception through the eyes of the gifter). Now the giftee is left wondering whether she made a mistake. The result is guilt which feels like fear. She is left wondering whether she made the right decision. Then she worries how her husband feels about this. She goes home and mentions it. The husband responds. The giftee questions the content of the response. "Wow, I wonder what he meant when he said blah blah blah...". Now the dynaimc is passed on to the husband. He picks up on her fear and wonders if he can truly trust her. His response, although possibly harmless, could reflect aggresion. Now you have this 3-way dynamic. The only way that I know of to put it to rest is to return the candy and be honest to the other person that it did not feel right to accept it. Perhaps, because you are married and you felt guilt over it. This closes the first dynamic. The gift returner then comes home and admits that it did not feel right to accept this gift to her husband. He responds to her with understanding and love, and respects her honesty. This closes the second dynamic. The only dynamic left is between the husband and the gifter. Since it makes no sense to formally close this, it most likely will lose it's power on it's own and disappear. This has to do more with the history of both and whether or not they ever come in contact with each other. You just never know about these things. Anyway. That's my spin. Hopefully, I get better at this stuff as I continue to gain experience and replace past mistakes with one based on honesty and integrity.
Haha. Do you know how many times I get to be right in my marriage? If my husband says 2+2=5 he will battle me to the end that he's right until I just give up, because winning a fight isn't worth the effort to me.
I think it's kinda sad. Lady_Di, we've seen the photo. We know you're a fox. Here's the poor maintenance guy spending some of his hard earned money in a hopeless cause. Makes me want to cry! (sniff, sniff)
I don't get jealous because I know my fiancee thinks I am the greatest thing since sliced turnips and I pity the foo' that tries to make a move on a woman with such a philosophy!
