i think you got it right there. there really is no black or white with these things. i'm pretty sensitive (there, derek) when it comes to gender stereotypes. it's just an issue that i read about and think about way too much. but i appreciate the discussion. although i know arguing my point on a basketball message board isn't going to solve much, it entertains me nonetheless.
I haven't read the whole thread yet (that's my next task) But for me.. there has never been a set "date limit" or "time passed" it was when it felt right. Though more often than on the first date or first meeting it was after quite a bit of time... when I was younger it was in terms of months not weeks. I will admit however to the occasional one night event.
It varies, much like with women. Personally, i think if you don't care at all about knowing her, then you might as well just get a hooker. At least they'll follow your every command. I rather at least "like" the girl, as in feel she's attractive and a cool person. By cool i guess i mean she's not a psycho, a gold digger, etc. She doesnt need to be the perfect citizen, but i also don't want someone that can bring in a lot of drama, even in just one night. Of coure that also cuts back on sexual encounters severely, but that's why i rather have a gf. What would you say is a bigger factor in deciding whether you have a one nighter or not, the guy himself or the situation/mood?
I've read through this whole thread, and I think the only answer that seems to be jump out at me is "to each her own." I mean, I don't see how there can be a certain time frame placed on such an emotional thing. Sometimes, you feel comfortable enough to get busy with someone the same night you met them.....other times, you feel like you really need to get to know them deeply beforehand. Every situation is different, and a lot of that is predicated on where you are in your life, what your relationship status is (recently single, single and horny, single and content, etc, etc), and how long it's been since you've had sex. I just think the people who try and put their constraints on something like sex either A) have not ever HAD sex, B) suck at it so badly that it's more of a symbol then it is about the act itself, or C) are prudes, and can't bring themselves to enjoy it without feeling like sinners.
I would say the two are not exclusive... a guy creates the right mood. Most of the time I was very attracted to the guy in those particular situations though... mainly because I wasn't looking for a relationship, because those were the type of guys A: aren't stable enough to "take home to ma" and B: are going to break your heart at some point. I have learned from experience, in this area anyway, if a guy is extremely attractive he's either gay or a player. There hasn't been many instances of single guys that were extremely attractive and attracted to me that I had much more than chemistry in common with... hence why I am still single!
Oh, and let me add that it also has A LOT to do with the partner as well. If the partner is someone you feel comfortable with, someone who exudes a lot of the qualities you find attractive in someone, and is someone you WANT to be with, then obviously this whole process speeds up as well.
WOW, this phrase, pretty much word for word was what I would use constantly with the ladies. It would almost always seal the deal and was responsible for countless hook-ups, often times completely destroying their last minute resistance. Ahh the memories.
I've heard women say that before. I think that severely sucks for the few guys who aren't either because it makes them less approachable to begin with, but even if a woman gets close they won't believe theyre looking for something serious. Sucks for women too because that's why they end up with the bad bfs. I guess i was wondering if when one nighters happen it was due to the woman almost planning it because she was in a very specific mood, or if it was more the possibility of doing it with a certain guy presenting itself, that made it happen. I anticipated it would be some of both for sure though, but i guess it would vary as well like everything else.
I was a player, but an honest player which is much more than I can say for most guys. I always put everything on the table and let the girl know exactly where she stood and what I was and was not looking for. Then it was her choice whether or not to get involved. I never went to the other room to answer a call, even if it was another girl because I had nothing to hide. This kind of brutal honesty was refreshing to the majority of women I dated. When I decided to get serious in a relationship, it was always exclusive.
So are you saying you're going to the "hispanics live the longest in" thread right after this? DISCLAIMER: I AM MARRIED. Not looking.
