BTW... I forgot this earlier: All younger girls are not attracted to jerks and niice guys can finish first. I'm 20 and AstroRocket is the nicest guy I've ever met and the only one I've been totally crazy in love with. Just find the right girl or you could pretend to be a jerk and then switch it up on her. That could work!
Exactly! I've just read through the entire thread and I've got to say about Burzmali, listen to this man! he knows what he speaks about. I been in the same situation as you with no end in sight. women are strange creatures. They like to believe they are romantics watching movings like notebooks etc etc thinking their life is a fairy tale. But no. If some guy did all the cheesy crap those guys do in the movies to them in real life. They would be utterly disgusted(if she doesnt think you're psycho already).. So don't try to pull stunts thinking itll 'win her over'. It doesnt work like that in real life, only in movies. not only will she NOT come back to you even MORE, you're just setting urself up for disappointment since you will be patiently waiting for a response.. you know the saying 'one who doesnt expect does not get disappointed'. in the end its the worst thing you can do. The BEST thing you can do is just move on and dont care. just let it go the true meaning of 'if it was meant to be u'll get back together blah blah' you know that cliche saying... ppl only say that so you will actually let it go cause once your over that hump, its smooth sailing; you will begin to see more rational and get the bigger picture of things.. ppl are just saying that cause its convenient to say.. it DOES NOT mean for you to ACTUALLY wait for the girl and see if it was 'meant to be'.. once again, it means let her go and dont give a rats ass about her again. in fact, if she comes running back at you.. PUSH her away.. another key point id like to point out. when you in a relationship with a girl. for example a first date. your stance should be that you are the one critiqing and judging her, basically she has to prove worthy of you, not the other way around. by your mannerism and reactions, a girl will sense right away who has the upper hand. NEVER let her have the UPPERHAND at any point of the relationship.. from there its down hill. no girl wants a push over. she wants a guy who wont take her crap. let me take this a bit further. let me reitterate what I was talking about earlier. a girl DOES want a fairy tale ending.. that is true.. but not from you. she wants it from the OTHER guy who dont give a crap about her. that other guy who doesnt give a crap about her is also the same guy she wants those love letters flowers and gifts.. not from you.. basically she wants it from the guy who wont give her all that, and not from the guy who WILL give her all that. does that make sense? what fun is it when a girl has you all figured out from day one.. when she called you back and asked if you would get back with her you said yes.. that was the absolute worst mistake you could have made.. from what you have told us, up to that point i think you could have still had a CHANCE, very small but still a chance. but when you said 'yes' all you really said to her is you are on standby(on call). nobody wants someone on standby. once she knows she has you on lock like that, she feels no urgency to make a decision or to keep you off the market from other girls. she knows she has you, and thats not good.. always gotta keep her guessing.. let me put it this way.. in man language... we are all under the mercy of this thing called a p*ssy.. that is the only fruit that can quench our thirst and we are in constant drive to conquer as much as we can.. society and horomones created this social norm.. girls on the other hand have been brainwashed since birth to act girly and one of those things is to be romatics. which is why they tend to love watching those sappy movies with happy endings.. anyway so we've established girls want love(a man's heart) and we want p*ssy.. they are the equivilant... would you be more attracted to a girl who gave up her p***y(her most sought after possession) on the first night or too easily or if a girl wouldnt give it up to you for several weeks or even month. or the better questin would be.. once you get 'it', which one would you appreciate more? lets get back to you. who do you think she would appreciate more.. a guy who fell in love with her when she didnt even try or another guy who she had to work really hard to get his heart? there is this thing in science called the law of gravity, when it comes to people there is another absolute law that goes something like: people want what they cant have. which is also why u're in this current rutt you are in right now.. when its all said and done, girls and guys arent all that different, we have different needs and wants but the desireability depends greatly on how obtainable something is. you've got to keep that in mind. this is something i believed for a LONG TIME. both the guy AND the girl are happier, when the guy has the upper hand.. when the balance of power shifts, everything gets out of wack and the relationship is doomed.
I see projection is your best friend. Aren't you just saying: "Hey I'm a jerk and chicks still dig me!!!"
Isn't it funny how all the guys who are saying "Ignore her" are all single. Look you want to get laid, act cocky, pretend you don't care, and be self centered. However, if you want to get married, dig deeper and show you care. Eventually all the guys that are saying the first will grow up....or they will all be middle aged balding men, stroken the bacon to the internet p*rn. You choose your own path. DD
I don't know who to believe.. DaDakota or Burzmali. I'm definitely more of the sincere type than the player type/ pickup artist Burzmali and others seem to portray. As far as our ages are concerned, I'm 27, the girl who broke up with me is 28, so its not like we are lovesick teenagers. We were really serious about each other and wanted to make our lives together. I'd never fallen in love nor gotten in a relationship where we were so serious like that, even if it was only for 5 months. Not anymore I guess. She hasn't called me since Saturday night. Today was worse than yesterday in terms of my heartaches and I even cried a little at work thinking about her. I see that she's still on match.com.
Listen to the former, not the latter...if you're looking for a serious, meaningful relationship. Those do exist.
I understand the distinction you are making, but I disagree. It's the same approach either way. Now if you are with somebody that you want to pursue a meaningful relationship with, it's just a matter of transitioning from the initial phase of attraction to adjusting to keeping her around. The same alpha-male principles apply, but you have to provide her with the emotional validation that good relationships have. Men need sexual validation, women need emotional validation. The balance between the two is what a successful relationship is.
I had a similar experience before I met the girl I went on to marry. I've been married now for 7 years and I can tell you I know you're hurting and second guessing many of the things you did, but it's not your fault things didn't work out. If you didn't lose your temper from time to time you wouldn't be human and if she can't accept that than she's not for you anyway. Time really does heal all wounds and eventually you'll move on. If you reach for her in your current state of mind it'll just make things worst. Give yourself some time to get back on your feet and try to block out the thoughts of her. Go out and have a good time with the guys and just rag on women for all the crap they can put a man through some times. That should put a smile on your face and that's really the best medicine.
Burzmali, I didn't read the entire thread, just a few pages and posts, and of course, some of the BS, but you must preach your stuff on, BROTHER. You gotz skillz, mah man. I am thinking, that when rm365 and his chick go back to school after the summer is over, they can ask their 9th grade counselor to help them out... I mean, I don't think this relationship can go further without professional help... or speak to your homeroom teacher about it, rm365, and toughen up, yo... I know you are in love with this chick... else why would you lose sleep over her... go get her, man... Internet dating? That's hilarious... I don't know why people insist on doing this sort of stuff... anyway, if you MUST... F*ck! You stole my thunder. I was going to type in "maybe you two were on mismatch.com by mistake..."
Well some of ya'll got some f****ed up ways of looking at relationships....but whatever to each his own.
No one thinks like this until they go through what rm365 just went through. We all start out with this idealistic conception of relationships and how one should deal with them. I know I did. And wham, this happens and everything gets turned upside down, and you start to realize that in the real world not everything goes that way. And especially at my age (late teens, early 20s), most girls have no idea what they want and are more prone to pulling stunts like this. Like I said, as people get older, this becomes much much less of an issue once women start to figure out what they want. That's not to say there aren't exceptions and props to all of you that found those exceptions, I wish I could say the same because that's really great. But for the rest of us, it doesn't work that way and we have to play it conservatively. rm365, all I can say is to try not to think about her and stay away from her. Don't count on her coming back or fixing everything because you're setting yourself up for more disappointment. It's hard to say and probably frustrating for you but it's the only answer in this situation. Besides, you're clearly not in an emotional state that would be best for making some sort of last ditch plea. You both need some time apart to gather yourselves together and figure things out. I know its hard, I can honestly say I never felt as bad as when I went through a similar thing but just staying away did wonders for me and it will for you.
Well Ive been through almost exactly what he's been through, but I've still held to my beliefs (everything always ends up for the better). Maybe it's being optimistic or I've just been the exception. Ah well.
Thinking the way I and many others do isn't something I'm happy about. I'd like to go back to believing the world operated in an idealistic manner because it's probably more true to my personality. But sadly, guys have to protect themselves from falling apart like rm365 and the easiest way to do that is to just forget about her and move on "act like a man" to quote others.
Ad at the bottom of the page: Men's Flirting Secrets Meet beautiful women. Never fall lonely again. I don't know, but that's pretty sad. It's also a bit sad how people have become so enamored with technology. Want to meet guys? Girls? Surf Match.com, or another site. Whatever happened to walking up to a girl and starting a conversation? Too difficult? Worked often enough. Of course, I always had that long-haired Celtic look about me. A quick grin and a twinkle in my eye.
