Hmm... this is a tough one. I suggest that you keep fixating on her. Maybe get bold and watch her and follow her after class from a safe distance. Take pictures of her, watch what her day to day routine is and make mental notes. Learn what her likes and dislikes are. Try not to get angry when she disapoints you by dating other guys and having friends that are beneath her. When the semester is close to being over, I suggest you tell her that you love her and want to own her soul. Of course do this in private, probably at night. Perhaps wait until she leaves a friends dorm or apartment and confront her in a corridor where you and her can have privacy. Tell her immediately that you love her and you know what her daily routine is, and what color underwear she is wearing. Hopefully she immediately returns your advances....... but what if she doesn't even remember your name??? You know so much about her, she is meant to be with you.... and she doesn't even know your damn name??? She needs to understand that you and her are destined to be together, and if she doesn't get that, you will need to educate her. Best of luck OP and remember...... all is fair in love and war!
If you are having trouble talking to her then you really need to just focus on talking to her with no intention of trying to get with her. You are putting pressure on yourself since you are worried about how whatever you say can affect your chances with her. Just forget about that and talk to her just to talk. I met my girlfriend in class and we were both dating other people at the time. Neither of us were looking to get into anything with each other, but that made it easy to just talk and be ourselves. We ended up flirting quite often but never anything more and later on in the summer we both ended up being single. It made it easy to start talking again since we already knew how to have a conversation with each other. Now we are both graduated and we've been together 2.5 years now. Just take the pressure off of yourself and let it come naturally. Once you know you can talk with her, then you can try to start flirting and sending hints that you are interested in her as something more.
Iunno man, I know exactly how you feel because I'm just a big of a beta. I feel like I can only converse comfortably if the people are friends of mine, I just can't find ways to start conversations longer than 30 seconds with a stranger. I just feel so awkward especially if it's a hot girl. the girls I've dated have all been like introduced to me by mutual friends where we hang out in a social setting with a lot of people where I don't freeze up and act like a complete awkward person. I think it is pretty hard to actually strike up a conversation in class in college, because there really isn't that much time in lecture to talk without being annoying.
Not sure if anyone has mentioned this yet, but your main problem is that you're putting the p***y on a pedestal. Closed mouths don't get fed, if you know what I mean.
Definitely agree with you on that last part. There's people I recognize from having 4 or 5 classes with, but that I don't actually know because the majority of classes are 200+ lectures. Best way to learn, worst way to meet people.
Spoiler Here is some real advice for you bro. You'll never sit down with someone in their 30s, 40s, 50s, etc. and hear them tell you about how they regret that time they tried to talk to a girl they had a crush on and got rejected. People don't regret the times they got turned down but they definitely regret the times they never asked. Here's another piece of wisdom for you. People are generally very open to being approached for conversation at college. Most people are interested in new relationships of some sort (even if it's just a friendship) and will not shut you down if you start talking to them. Just start talking to her and see where it goes.
Similar to killers being quiet. Damn Agreed with your post... just adding the fact that people in general can tell one's nervousness. It's not magical powers.
And.. Sounds like your fear is the fear of being rejected by her.. not that you can't talk to her or what not.. you're afraid of what she might be thinking of you.. Well, learn to love your self first. Cause if you like who you are as a person, it makes it easy for others to do the same. Be confident about what you can offer to the girl and if you have nothing to offer to her then why even bother?
Dude this was me in High School... Eventually I got up the nerve to ask out my biggest crush and she said yes, only problem is everytime I would try to set up a time she would postpone it and eventually I just moved on. The worst part is that she acted like really interested when I first asked her but than for whatever reason she would never actually come thru, I would of much rather she just strait up denied me than to of played me along like she did. Anyways OP just say screw it and talk to her after class, compliment her or something, but no matter what you do don't let this opportunity pass you by. She could be the one!
I don't think some of you guys give me enough credit lol I wouldn't say I'm bad at socializing, I actually do have friends that are good looking girls, and I can have conversations with pretty much anybody. I like to think that I've got my own brand of humor and everybody tells me I'm funny, and I am pretty confident and cool when not nervous. But like I said, whenever I end up crushing on a girl for one reason or another, and I'm not somehow already talking to her, approaching her becomes the hardest thing ever. It's like all my social skills just fly out the window, no other way to really explain it. That and my mouth becomes a freaking jet engine. That's really my fear, not that I'm not confident in my personality, but that I'll end up sounding like a r****d and not my normal self. If you didn't feel like reading all that basically my fear is only that I will sound like a r****d and not my normal self, and also that damn awkward silence and I won't know what to say next, making things extremely comfortable.
If you can have conversations with pretty much anyone then you shouldn't have a problem talking to her. Who cares if you sound like a r****d? You are in college, most everyone there is functionally r****ded. Ask her if she wants to study together, or just ask her out for a drink. If things are awkward or she says no just move on. All it takes is one simple conversation brah.
a girl doesn't say yes to you and then keep putting you off. this is more a matter of you trying to pin her down than about her stalemating you or playing games. you have to give a girl room to breathe and say no to you without you feeling like your manhood is in jeopardy. girls have no problem saying no to guys they don't like so the fact that she said yes means that on some level she liked you. usually if a girl postpones on you, the best response is to NOT try to reschedule with her. you need to really act like that you aren't so available and that SHE not YOU missed her opportunity. If you take this approach i guarantee you that you won't be getting the roundaround with girls like you have been. the key here is to show your value to a girl so that she is the one missing the opportunity and not you.
We'll I'm just assuming OP isn't bisexual so guys sensing nerves wouldn't be an issue, but yes you're right ofc
