Aries323 is really being drubbed here. One would think he did something really awful like be a Jazz fan. Aries323, you're certainly no paragon of virtue here but I'll leave aside the bashing because I can say in such matters I haven't been a paragon of virtue either and I'm going to make the bold presumption you're probably in your early 20's or so so you got time to learn. My advice is just be honest with her and yourself. If you like her and want to knock boots or get something meaningful with her then see her again but come clean to her about your relationship and your concerns about getting into the middle of her relationship. While there's an obligation on your part to consider your own relationship she's got just as heavy a one on her too so the best thing you could do is be honest and ask her to do the same.
I agree with Sishir Chang. There aren't too many paragons here. We just need to give aries323 the usual friendly bbs advice, whether we think he's doing things the right way or not. Most of us are such relationship experts, you know... We do want you to be honest with everyone involved, because that always ends up being better in the long run. And at least you aren't married... be thankful for that.
It's crappy that you went on a date with this girl when you think she might have a boyfriend. That's something you should find out BEFORE you go out with her. It's crappy that you're going out with her when you have a relationship with another girl. It's crappy that she went out on a date with you when she thinks you might have a girlfriend. That's something she should find out BEFORE she goes out with you. It's crappy that she's going out with you when she has a boyfriend. It's crappy that you got drunk and drove home. It's crappy that your date led to your being even close to having sex with her. It's crappy that you would even consider betraying the girl you're in a relationship with. It's crappy that she would even consider betraying the guy she's in a relationship with. It's crappy that you consider pursuing her. And I say this without a smile. This is not cute. This is not a silly, naughty thing. This is genuinely crappy. Sheesh, dude, don't you have any respect for anybody, including yourself?
no...hopefully he is. seriously, the way the situation is...he really deserves to get his ass kicked. 5 1/2 years is a lot of invested time by that other guy - and that guy has the right to kick the **** outta aries for making out with his girl - and then again for thinking of still going for her.
I have to admit, he probably is in line for an ***whoopin, but all that said, none of these people are married. You get married or engaged when you have decided you want to only be with one person. You have a boyfriend or girlfriend when you like what you have, but you still want to keep your options open.
wow. EXACT WORDS I wanted to say. 3rd Best post ever! Seriously, dude... where are you guys that it is "ok to date other people" while you're together? Is this what happens when people are such cowards and don't want to accept they want to leave each other and accept this as a last recourse? "Let's date other people and we can just keep 'doing' each other, ok?" Your lying, cheating, immaturity, all else, gives younger guys a bad name. When you and this new girl are together for about 3 weeks, you will find someone else just like you left this last girl before the new one and she did her ex-boyfriend. Meh, I'm married... I couldn't give you marriage advice at all. Sorry, man... you deserve everything you get.
Then SHE might be wanting to give him an ***whoopin... on the other hand, she was messing around on somebody herself, so this may be one of those girls who also hit it and forget it. I remember someone using a line on me when I was younger... long story, but I was hanging around with this guy (getting kind of cozy) and the one thing he never mentioned was that he had a girlfriend. The subject didn't come up until someone else brought it up. I confronted him; his first line (of bs) was that I was "just a friend" and he didn't think of me in that way. I said that most "friends" don't act the way we were acting, and that his girlfriend probably wouldn't have approved. He then threw in the line that "we're long distance, so we agreed we could see other people". Maybe. I'll never know. He sure tried to hide it for a while, and at least one of his heads was certainly thinking in "that way". Silly teenage behavior, but the moral of the story is: lots of guys say "we agreed to see other people". They are often full of bull.
How old are you, man? There's 4 people involved in this, but all you're doing here is thinking of yourself, that's pretty damn selfish...and btw I'm 17, and I know that's wrong.
In defense of Aries323 he's not the only one at fault here. If anything the girl might is as much if more at fault because while he lied about having a GF she knows she has a significant other, told him so and still wanted to pursue sex with him. I agree its all pretty ugly and low but y'all are treating aries like he's a serial killer or a Mavs fan.
It goes both ways and its not limited to teenagers. I was dating someone in their late 20's not that long ago and we lived in separate cities with no plans for moving into the same locale. She brought up "still wanting to be together but being open to seeing other people." Sure enough she called it all off a few weeks later.
You're "hella confused," right? What does that mean? You're confused about the girlfriend you say isn't really a girlfriend? You're confused about a woman who's been in a 5+ year relationship and clearly wants it to end? You're just "hella confused?" (what does "hella" mean, anyway? this modern lingo... life was much simpler in my youth, when everyone slept with anyone, whenever they felt like it, and any disease could be cured with a shot. Of course, I never needed a shot. Just had great luck.) I think you worry too much, hella fella. If you're not too loaded, go see the "girlfriend," and tell her it's over. Unless you're with her now... her being in another room while you check your "relationship thread" on the BBS. If so, that's even better. Just walk over to her and tell her it's over. "It's nothing you've done, sweetheart. It's all my fault. I'm just not worthy of you. You'll be happier with someone else. There are bigger fish in the sea. Yes, I have several more clichés... those were enough? OK, babe. Here, I'll open the door for you. Take it easy." Then you're free. Search out the chick who wants to get out of the long relationship and help her out. After you help her work it out of her system, one of two things will happen, well, maybe three. She'll say thanks and move on, leaving you free to do what you like, which is what you want, right? Or she'll like you and want to have a long relationship, giving you the chance to leave her and be free to do what you like, which is what you want, right? Or you'll fall in love with her, have a very long relationship, and worry about her doing to you what you helped her do for herself, which is what you want, right? Maybe, maybe no.
Maybe for you. I bet the 60's weren't as free love as people make them out to be. According to shows like Sex in the City my generation is having more sex than ever and is more casual about it. According to all sorts of stories about highschool these days practically every teenager is at least having oral and anal sex. While these experiences might be true for some from my own observations it seems like these are far from the norm.
Life is not a TV show, Sishir. Any comments I make here about the "era" of the '60's, into the early-mid '70's, to a degree, understates just how wild it was, at least in the culture I was involved in. Maybe I was lucky. If so, I was surrounded by one heck of a lot of lucky people. Experimentation was an integral part of the lifestyle. This assuredly included sex. And the music was great. I had more fun than a human being should be allowed to have, no doubt. I was surrounded by fun. Immersed in it. Fun is a three letter word. So is sex. Sex is fun. Have more fun, Sishir. Thanks for the kind words, R2K. As usual, I don't deserve them.
It does seem that people are a lot more casual about those things these days... but (I feel compelled to state this for the young people) surely it's not "everybody". When I was in high school, the popular culture assumed that "everybody" was having sex, at least the regular kind. And some people were. But a lot of people weren't. For you young people, there are a lot fewer people doing it than you'd think. Some people who say they are doing it are exaggerating. So don't get yourself into this stuff too early. It's complicated. Wait until you can handle it mentally as well as physically. You've got your whole life to get into all that.
First, I'm not your boy. Next, I think cheating is a pretty common thing, I'm not intentionally trying to hurt anyone, $hit just happens. We just hooked up... You're probably right though, I can take constructive criticism, but in your case there is nothing there. go sit in the corner dumbass... ? laughing... u f***ing clown and to everyone else, thanks for your criticism, maybe thats all needed here was someone to slap me up side the head.
