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Getting a divorce [Legal Advice & Coping Advice]

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by London'sBurning, Oct 10, 2010.

  1. London'sBurning

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    I'm having a tough time coping and am trying to exhaust all resources on how to make this transition as smooth as possible. I'm seeing a therapist, am seeing my school counselor, have my own family's support and am trying to stay busy. I've no desire to date or anything right now. I think its too soon and I'd rather wait at least until the divorce is officially over.

    Here's some details on the divorce.

    She's Canadian. I'm in Austin. Unless I wanted to make this divorce difficult on her (I don't. I just want to get this over with), she wouldn't have to come back to Austin to finalize the divorce.

    The divorce is going to be a no fault divorce. We have no kids and neither of us have anything really expensive to fight over.

    That said there is one complication. We got married on January 5th of this year. A couple of weeks after getting married she got sick and needed to be hospitalized at Brackenridge. We did not have insurance at the time so the bill the hospital gave us was roughly $30,000. We've since filed for financial assistance through the hospital and are waiting for word to see if they could lessen the bill they charged us. They said this would take 90 days and its been over that with no word from them about what the cost for the hospital bill will be yet.

    My ex is a hypochondriac and agoraphobic. She was obsessed with her health and the results of her hospital visit was that she was having panic attacks but was otherwise in good health. She did suffer from Cedar fever allergies but this really did not warrant her needing to go to the hospital.

    She also cost me a great deal on frequent doctor visits that were unnecessary while she lived in Austin and had one ER visit that I paid off for her. I was also paying out of pocket for her psychiatry and psychologist visits when she lived with me in Austin.

    When she left which was in August, I was under the impression that she would come back since she said she was just going to visit her family for a couple of weeks. This was not the case. She ended up cheating on me with another guy, took most of the money out of our joint account which didn't have much left in it and has since registered for college classes in the Fall. She's found a job over there and is back living with her parents in the meantime.

    She's moved on and has left me with potentially a huge hospital bill in her name I don't think I should be held responsible to pay off. According to the immigration paperwork I signed, I agreed to sponsor her and take responsibility over her when we got married. She's voided this contract by wanting to end our marriage and by missing her final interview, which was on September 7th, to establish herself as a permanent resident. Am I in the right on this? I don't particularly think this is a way to screw her over by forking the bill over to her. I just don't want to be screwed over by paying a bill that's not even in my name for a person that could not honor her vows to me when we got married.
     
  2. Dairy Ashford

    Dairy Ashford Member

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    Send a text to the court clerk and see if you can get the "no" crossed through with a pen or something. She seems like quite the Cun-adian.
     
  3. moestavern19

    moestavern19 Member

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    You're better off without her man.

    Doing the right thing here.

    Sucks about the medical bills, you'll probably need to hire a lawyer to get that sorted out or something, other people can help you more with that.

    All I can really say is just focus on yourself from now on and don't be surprised if you find out sooner than later that you're doing a lot better.

    Then go out and get mad laid.

    You'll be just fine.
     
  4. KingCheetah

    KingCheetah Member

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    Dude, do anything you can to make her pay her hospital bill.
     
  5. Mr. Brightside

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    Damn, that sounds like a nightmare situation you have been in. I wish you all the best though going forward..
     
  6. QdoubleA

    QdoubleA Member

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    Agreed, she took most of your cash AND cheated on you, you're a nice guy, want to make things smooth for her and all but come on man, go for the throat.
     
  7. London'sBurning

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    Yea its been a really tough 2010 for me. I always heard the first year of marriage was the toughest but its like challenge after challenge was stacked on top of us. If she wasn't sick, or worried she was sick, my dog was attacked. Her anxiety was so bad that I had to drop a good chunk of my courses and almost quit work in the Spring and Summer because on some days her anxiety would be that bad and she wouldn't let me leave to attend my classes or go to work. She couldn't work or go to school here and was stuck at home with our puppy most of the time.

    USCIS immigration messed up twice on her paperwork so she could become a permanent resident after our marriage. They said our civil surgeon didn't sign the paperwork the right way which was beyond our control. We had to contact Lloyd Doggett to deal with this issue and when they helped sort it out so she could finally work or go to school in Austin she decided to travel to see her family and never came back. Her anxiety was so bad in Canada before moving to Austin and while she lived in Austin, yet its like she's moved on so easily now that she's back in Canada again. It just blows my mind.

    As far as the bill goes, I do want her to pay all of it if possible.
     
  8. moestavern19

    moestavern19 Member

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    Yeesh that sounds terrible bro, nobody should have to deal with that kind of stress.
     
  9. sew

    sew Member

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    [​IMG]

    seriously though, that sucks... hope everything works out.
     
  10. sew

    sew Member

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    ^ fail

    [​IMG]
     
    1 person likes this.
  11. Xerobull

    Xerobull You son of a b!tch! I'm in!
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    Suck it up and pay the bill off. Better to get her out of your life.
     
  12. AroundTheWorld

    AroundTheWorld Insufferable 98er
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    I think she should pay the bill.

    Sounds like you are lucky that she is going to stay in Canada. Keep your chin up. All the best.
     
  13. macalu

    macalu Member

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    **** that. she should pay fo rit. if it's not in his name, he should blow it off. he's already paid emotionally for being with that ****.


    Londonbrigde,

    you're not alone in this. my dad remarried someone from overseas about 6 years ago. after she became a US citizen, she brought her son over. one day she and her son took a flight to Ohio and told my dad they were visiting some friends. the next day she called and told him she wasn't returning.
     
  14. Dairy Ashford

    Dairy Ashford Member

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    30-grand calls for a pretty big straw.
     
  15. Rip Van Rocket

    Rip Van Rocket Contributing Member

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    Wow, this is some kind of a big mess. I would like to hear her side of the story. I believe what London'sBurning is saying, but I would like to hear her justification for screwing over her husband like this. She sounds like a terrible person.
     
  16. Agent94

    Agent94 Member

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    Leave the bill to her. Since she is in Canada they will likely never get her to pay anyway.
     
  17. Shroopy2

    Shroopy2 Member

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    Legal advice: I have none. I don't know if marriage covers pre-existing conditions.

    Coping advice: Women seem secure in their convictions, yet women initiate 75% of divorces.
    Men commit suicide 4 times more than women, yet its women's emotional health that we have to support. Why do you have to pay for someone else's indecision? Maybe the cheating brought about her psychological conditions.

    I wouldnt pay 1 more cent than I'd have to.
     
  18. MaloneyPony

    MaloneyPony Member

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    legitimate lol at the "disregard females... acquire currency"
     
  19. vlaurelio

    vlaurelio Member

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    pics please

    TIA
     
  20. Landlord Landry

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    what is this dame's phone number?
     

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