1. Welcome! Please take a few seconds to create your free account to post threads, make some friends, remove a few ads while surfing and much more. ClutchFans has been bringing fans together to talk Houston Sports since 1996. Join us!

[Funny or Die] 7 Awesome Things We Got From Otherwise Terrible Movies

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by GRENDEL, Apr 13, 2011.

  1. GRENDEL

    GRENDEL Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2002
    Messages:
    17,217
    Likes Received:
    4,720
    Hollywood's put out more than its share of terrible movies. No big revelation there. It's part of the deal we all agreed to when Hollywood began. "We pay you money and you diisappoint us? Sold." But some of these disasters have actually been worth it, as they have often unintentionally provided us with amazingness.

    1. Batman Forever: "Kiss From a Rose"

    Movie: Batman Forever


    How Badly Did It Suck? Granted it's not as terrible as Batman and Robin, but was clearly the first step in Joel Schumacher's seemingly intentional destruction of the Batman franchise. "I'd like the gangsters to have more neon, please."

    At Least We Got: Seal's "Kiss From a Rose" on the soundtrack. Say what you want about Seal (like "Ew, gross face"), but this is a great song. So while we can't excuse Schumacher for nippling up the franchise in the next film, we can thank him for including this in his awful awful film.

    [​IMG]


    2. The Wicker Man: The Montage of Nic Cage Punching Women and Screaming "Not the Bees"

    Movie: The Wicker Man

    How Badly Did It Suck? No clue. It's a fact that nobody's actually seen this flick since there's absolutely no need when this montage exists.

    At Least We Got: This montage! It's got everything: Nic Cage wearing a bear suit, Nic Cage wearing a bear suit punching women, Nic Cage being attacked by bees (bear suit probably is offscreen). It's Nic Cage at his finest and without "The Wicker Man" we would not have this. Now enjoy:

    <object width="480" height="400" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000"><param name="movie" value="http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf" /><param name="flashvars" value="key=dee3ffcfb7" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><embed width="480" height="400" flashvars="key=dee3ffcfb7" allowfullscreen="true" quality="high" src="http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object><div style="text-align:center;width:480px;"><a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/dee3ffcfb7/the-nic-cage-wicker-man-montage" title="from TubularGoldmine">The Nic Cage 'Wicker Man' Montage</a> - watch more <a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/" title="on Funny or Die">funny videos</a></div>


    3. Swordfish: Halle Berry's Boobs

    Movie: Swordfish

    How Badly Did It Suck? Pretty badly. Not the worst in the world, but considering what it gave us, it's a major letdown. Speaking of…

    At Least We Got: Halle Berry's boobs. And it was the first time the world saw them. And oh boy did the world want to see them. So it only made sense that she'd finally unveil them to the adoring public in an arthouse flick. Something that really called for the nudity, right? Not some run-of-the-mill John Travolta fest. No? Whatever, here they are:

    [​IMG]

    4. Gigli: The End of Bennifer

    Movie: Gigli


    How Badly Did It Suck? No need to dive into this one. Children are born into this world with innate knowledge of how terrible this movie is.

    At Least We Got: The end of the power couple that was Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. And not only that, it happened before they could procreate. So for that, we actually should celebrate this film, for it accomplished more than most Oscar winners.

    [​IMG]


    5. Terminator Salvation: The Christian Bale Rant

    Movie: Terminator Salvation


    How Badly Did It Suck? Alright, this one's not thaaaat bad. But when you're part of the Terminator franchise, the bar gets raised.

    At Least We Got: All your favorite hits: Like "Ohhhh, good for you," "****-sake man, you’re amateur," and "You're a nice guy." The classics are all here for a low low price of a mediocre movie.

    [​IMG]


    6. Showgirls: A Lesson in How Not To Have Sex in a Pool

    Movie: Showgirls


    How Badly Did It Suck? Even the act of seeing former Valedictorian Jesse Spano getting so excited couldn't save this atrocity.

    At Least We Got: The most awkward (and unintentionally hilarious) sex scene ever put on film. Spano writhing around, the guy from Sex and the City humping her belly button -- it pretty much ruined everybody's notion that pool-sex was a great idea.


    [​IMG]

    7. Meet Joe Black: Brad Pitt Getting Hit by Multiple Cars

    Movie: Meet Joe Black


    How Badly Did It Suck: I'm pretty sure this movie is 18 hours long. And only 20 seconds of it are worth watching.

    At Least We Got: These 20 seconds:

    <object width="512" height="328" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000"><param name="movie" value="http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf" /><param name="flashvars" value="key=15aecc5ed0" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><embed width="512" height="328" flashvars="key=15aecc5ed0" allowfullscreen="true" quality="high" src="http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object><div style="text-align:center;width:512px;"><a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/15aecc5ed0/brad-pitt-gets-hit-by-a-car" title="from TubularGoldmine">Brad Pitt Gets Hit By a Car</a> - watch more <a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/" title="on Funny or Die">funny videos</a></div>

    http://www.funnyordie.com/lists/02a...e-movies?playlist=featured_pictures_and_words
     
  2. yo

    yo Contributing Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2001
    Messages:
    2,287
    Likes Received:
    146
    Meet Joe Black does NOT belong on this list. Otherwise, this list and commentary is money.
     
  3. liljojo

    liljojo Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2010
    Messages:
    3,423
    Likes Received:
    227
    I learned how to play/sing "Kiss From A Rose" on the piano.

    I played it once at my dorm's piano lounge, I instantly felt every girl in the room look at me.

    Thanks, Seal.
     
  4. ima_drummer2k

    ima_drummer2k Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2002
    Messages:
    35,761
    Likes Received:
    7,845
    Well, we did get Darth Maul from Episode I.
     
  5. Nero

    Nero Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2002
    Messages:
    6,441
    Likes Received:
    1,422
    SILENCE ! I KEEL YOU !!!
     
  6. professorjay

    professorjay Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2006
    Messages:
    9,676
    Likes Received:
    388
    I believe that's a great reference to this award nominated scene:
    <iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/bflYjF90t7c" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
     
  7. Cannonball

    Cannonball Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2006
    Messages:
    21,654
    Likes Received:
    1,913
    Yeah, I caught that too.
     

Share This Page

  • About ClutchFans

    Since 1996, ClutchFans has been loud and proud covering the Houston Rockets, helping set an industry standard for team fan sites. The forums have been a home for Houston sports fans as well as basketball fanatics around the globe.

  • Support ClutchFans!

    If you find that ClutchFans is a valuable resource for you, please consider becoming a Supporting Member. Supporting Members can upload photos and attachments directly to their posts, customize their user title and more. Gold Supporters see zero ads!


    Upgrade Now