Dude, don't post in THIS thread without coming clean on the Vivi episode... you of all people should know that.
Often times you drink the first time it happens. Usually though, one wants a relationship, and may even consider you as being in a relationship together even though you aren't.
If you're afraid of someone reading your account, I suggest the Jackie Chan as an alt moniker to SPILL THE BEANS.
LOL. The only thing that kept me a reader after finishing HS was the Penthouse Forum. Because I developed an enthusiastic habit for reading, I finally branched out to other genres...somewhat less enthusiastically, but I read none-the-less. And it's all because of Penthouse. Three cheers for Penthouse! Back on topic: Does hanging out with a bunch of free-thinking, free-talking, free-everything newagers count? Talk about lots of friends and lots of perks.
Friends w/ benefits and casual dating are pretty much all I have been doing for the majority of the past 5 years (3 years grad school, last 2 years of undergrad). I had a couple girlfriends sprinkled in here and there, but the relationship I had that lasted over 6 months was my sophomore year in college. I've found it is actually pretty easy to get one. Basically just boils down to if the girl is looking for something serious or not. If she likes you, has a lot of fun with you, and you can hold things down in the bedroom, she'll be happy keeping things going even without the goal something "serious" forming. I guess this is pretty easy at my age because a lot of the girls I know are more concerned with their careers and having fun than being tied down with someone exclusive. And from what I've learned, it's rare to actually go from actual, platonic friends --> benefits. At least, I've never been able to pull that off. I find that it is easier to go from a dating standpoint (or at least in a situation where there has been some sexual tension) and then maneuver things down the casual/friends with benefits road instead of taking the left turn towards relationshipville.
Now don't you be dissing on vivi like that, yo! Believe me there are enough nerds here that would love to have vivi as their ***** buddy but you are going to have to let them know a little bit about her like what makes her tick, likes and dislikes, etc. Come on chow - you know you want to talk about it, spill the beans.
Well, you have to have at least a certain level of social skills and looks too, but those bars aren't prohibitively high (especially since you have the choice of lowering your standards if you are below-average). Also, you can't be so much of a wuss that you are scared to make a move. Believe it or not, but I know someone who made it out of one of the top party colleges in the U.S. with his virginity intact...and not by choice. He's just the type of guy who doesn't have the cojones to make a move. Pretty normal guy all-around, but too introverted around girls to set himself up in "scoring position".
I have them. They are usually either friends that share sexual attraction or girls I've dated but we've agreed that a relationship just wasn't possible. In either scenario a lot of trust and respect are required, along with complete and total honesty/disclosure. Works pretty well and it has strengthened a lot of relationships I've had. One other caveat, no concurrent partners. I'm a one FB kind of guy.
Most of the time I just ask them if they are cool with being in a physical, unattached relationship. Sometimes, especially in the case of dating, you will find out after sex has already happened that a relationship isn't going to work, so you agree to it then. In either case, I don't ever take on a new FB who isn't 100000000% cool with it or doesn't understand the rules.
Had one along time ago, well actually she was my ex girlfriend, who became a friend about a year and half after we broke up. She had a bf, but still wanted me? I felt bad..afterwards
I've had a couple of friends like that, but it usually gets complicated after a time. I think it has more to do with how often you hook up. If it becomes routine at any point, thats where you get into scary territory. As far as what was said, it was usually something that just happened when we were hanging out, usually drinking. Afterwards we talked about it and chalked it up to fun and nothing more. Its usually clarified that it doesn't have to be a one time thing.
