I agree with the guy who said get the room ready for your friend after the divorce. I can't understand why guys date and marry women like that and I am still single. Is this like the bad boy theory for women?? If a girl is nasty, manipulative and controlling they get the guy? Sorry that it was such a horrible experience for you, but just try to be there for your friend when he come to you miserable.
sounds like you did pretty well biting your lip through most of it. I've told a couple of friends "don't do it, man" and I was met with either indifference or contempt. Translation, it didn't help. So I know it seems like a friend's duty, but honestly, most dudes have made their decision by the time that comes up. Best thing you can do is, if asked, respond honestly, without contempt or emotion, about your general feelings regarding the question, and cap it with, "but I know you need to do what makes you happy, so I support that above everything." Sounds like dude is bound to one of two paths... divorce, or distress.... but who knows, maybe it is just the turbulence, and if they are 22-24 as someone astutely suggested they sound, they'll mature and things will smooth out with time. Lastly, it sounds like she'll be manipulating his time, and you won't have to put up with much more of this. Keep the volatility low... this too will pass, and qué será será.
This would have been funnier if the title was what i thought it was at first glance. [Friend's Wife has Nuts] Friend Got Married
This is one of the big reasons I have never been married (and am close to 40). My friendships are VERY important to me. I just can't imagine dumping my lifelong friends and settling for "couple friends". Where we hang out because I like/work with the guy and his SO is reasonably compatible with mine. Or my wife likes someone so I automatically inherit her husband as a friend. I have lost a couple of friends that way. They got married...I was allowed to come around if I had a girlfriend...but if I was single I sort of fell by the wayside. Sure, life changes when you get married and most of your time should be devoted to your family, but I don't see the need to replace all single friends with paired sets.
nope....different person. but i did some fb spying and found out the crazy N person i was thinking of got married 11/1/08 so not the same person as in the original thread.
Weddings are nightmares. For part of your story... yeah, she sounds psycho and controlling. But I must also say.... it's their wedding, not yours. Respect their wishes, even if you don't agree with them. For example: When they said, "no strippers" you understood the spirit of what they were saying, and, instead, you used a technicality in verbiage to try to override what they wanted. It should be no surprise to you that he/she freaked out about that. Regardless, the wedding is over. Your obligations are fulfilled. I recommend that you don't say anything further to him and put the wedding behind you. Consider it an unspoken gift to your friend. Now, if she continues to give you grief in the future (which will probably happen) then you are no longer under any obligation to keep your feelings stifled (i.e. you don't have the "don't want to cause further problems for the wedding" issue).
I think in general, people who aren't married don't understand this. Women especially want their wedding to be a specific way that they've envisioned and they stress and freak out about it until it is over, often so much so that they don't even get to enjoy the wedding itself. This girl sounds like she might be a bit of a b in some ways, but it also sounds like immaturity and stuff more than anything else. I agree with this big time. I would have been furious as well. Bingo!
Your friend is a grown adult. As adults we make our own decisions. As a friend, you can give your opinion, and that's all you can do. A bigger statement probably would have been turning down the opportunity to be his best man stating that he's your boy, but you just can't possibly support the marriage.
I read the whole thing (ugh)... 1) Yes she sounds crazy 2) You shouldn't have agreed to be the best man if you can't stand the bride. Why support a marriage you don't support? 3) If they didn't want alcohol or a DJ at the wedding, that's their choice. You have no right to be upset. It's not your big day, it's theirs. 4) You were an idiot about the stripper and both your best friend as his bride had every reason to be pissed off at you for this. You were immature and showed a complete lack of respect for the couple. 5) After "the note" and "the talk" - you should have backed out of your position as the best man. Clearly you didn't support the relationship, so once again: Why support a marriage (by being the best man) that you don't support? 6) You knew your friend was hugely uncomfortable with you using his phone, yet you took it anyways, made a 30 minute call using his phone without asking, didn't give him his phone back at all that night...and you're pissed that he called his future wife from the hotel? If he wanted to talk to her, what other option did he have? You were the prick here, not him. 7) Who cares about your little sister's boyfriend? Again, it's their right to have who they want there. If you've ever had a chance to plan a wedding list you'd realize how many people you need to leave out sometimes. Surely your little sister's boyfriend wasn't the toughest "cut" they had to make. Especially when they already laid out the rules that every date would have to be approved first. Conclusion: Yes she is nuts...but you messed up a number of things along the way as well.
ALL crazy women are. Whatever gene or chemical makes them bat-**** insane, also makes them freaks in the sheets.
More wisdom from Dr. Droxford. Not sure what your profession is Doc but I have a feeling you missed your calling. Of course all that wisdom probably comes from experience (your's and other's) and not the classroom so it took a few years before the picture became clear. And while I agree with Moe that you should have told him, I'll also say that he probably would not have listened - I didn't. Most likely you 2 will become more distant - a call here - run into them in Kroger - etc. Just don't be an I-told-you-so when this all goes down badly as it appears to be headed - a friend would not do that.
Just a few things here... 1. Yup, she's nuts. 2. I've been the one to tell friends things they don't want to hear many times before. It sucks, and often they won't talk to me for months afterward. But they always come back around. Even if they never actually say "thank you," it's kind of an unspoken sentiment. 3. You done f***ed up on the stripper thing. Believe it or not, some guys you couldn't pay to go into a strip club even if they're single. I'm one of them. I'm quite surprised you don't understand that. I don't know what possible good you thought was going to come out of that.
