It's one thing to not be ready for marriage and another to simply not believe in it or want it. I think posters need to specify where they fit, otherwise there's going to be some confusion.
Good thing I live in Arkansas where common law marriage does not exist. We've actually delved into what would happen if we split up and pretty much, unless proven unfit, the mother always gets them up here.
I waited until I was over 30 to get married, and am happily married now. We decided to get married and have kids, don't regret it at all. But also respect everyone that makes the decision not to, it is your life, do whatever you want. DD
I'm 28 most likely will not be married at 30. I spent my time in college more concerned with drinking and having "fun" than studying/being involved in a relationship. Next few years after graduating having that same mindset. The next few got in a few relationships but just didnt work out for various reasons .... I think that is fairly common in not wanting it for a while than it just takes time to find the right person...
I'm 38, was married for 5 years, got divorced this past November, and have a son that is 3. Probably won't get married ever again although I am not against it. As someone else said, it really depends on who you are with and if the two of you are right for each other. It is pretty obvious that in looking back at my failed marriage, that me and the ex were not right for each other. Yet, I have several friends that are on their second (and sometimes third) marriage and are happier than ever. So marriage can work but you have to find the right person. At this point in my life, I have ZERO interest in finding the right person. Maybe a year from now that will change or it might be 5 years or even never - I don't know. I'm just busy with other things and the last thing I need is a relationship.
I get car ads because I'm in the market. The ads are specific to your personal search. What have you been looking for Kam? I'm been thinking about the issue for awhile, but I guess I'll have to give it a little bit more time. The advantage now is that we don't have to live together so there's a lot of things I can do at my own place. I don't have to answer to her every minute when I'm out. I spend my own money the way I want. etc. That's not to say I don't love her. If she ever leave me because of this issue, I'd know it'd be bad. I love her, but I love my freedom also.
If I were him I would respond that the person that asked (i.e. you) has a stupid idea of what constitutes manhood. I'm 42 and never married. Was engaged once in my late 20's but I broke off the engagement which ended the relationship. Until my mid-late 30's I could never stay with the same woman more than 2 years and never more than 1 that I actually enjoyed. And I was never faithful either. I was a drunk and I was a dog. I went home with someone new once a week on average, many weeks were far busier than that. Until I met my current girlfriend I was dead set against marriage or children and was straight with any woman I dated that it would not last forever. Now I've been with the same woman almost 6 years and I am very, very happy with her. I'm very attracted to her, I enjoy her company, she is my best friend, she is a truly brilliant artist (writer and actress), she is smarter than I am, she makes me laugh harder than anyone I've ever known, I admire and respect her and, most of all, she makes me want to be a better man (to steal a line from a Hollywood movie). Since I met her I have never cheated nor wanted to. And, apart from separating once for a month after a particularly bad fight, I have never looked for the door. In some ways I find this sort of relationship even more romantic than marriage because we are not legally bound to each other, we don't have to work it out or stay together, we choose to. And we have lived together since the first night we met. All that said, there has been much talk of marriage and children lately. She's ten years my junior so we have time for that. And I'm warming up to the idea.
I got married in my early 30s. The wife and I find it funny when single friends say they want to be married. The why is the funny part. The things they think will make them happy maybe won't. The things they want from marriage you can can get without being married. More of the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I will say this though. I love my wife and kid, and have a great life but ... If I ever find myself single again (whatever the reason), I ... will ... never ... get ... remarried. Makes answering that wifey question .. what would you do if I got killed in a car wreck? ... a whole lot easier to answer. The answer is that I will not look for the next wife; I'll just sleep around. For reason not entirely clear, she appears to like that answer.
What are the drawbacks to being married??? Way to dance around the question. Come out and answer it. :grin: Does Mrs. Pun read this board? Well, then? Answer.
32 not married...in a serious relationship now that will lead to marriage. Too many men get married before they even know themselves...gotta make sure you go through plenty of life experiences to learn about yourself and what you want. Getting married before this will most likely result in either an unhappy marriage or a failed marriage.
I used to date a woman who was married and divorced three times before she hit 45. She told me she wanted to get married a 4th time. I told her I want to get to know a woman well before we start talking about marriage. She left me for another guy, and they wound up marrying each other 2 months after meeting. It's his 3rd marriage. Turns out he is from overseas and needs a green card. Last I heard, their marriage was having a wee bit of trouble. I feel like I dodged a bullet the size of a cannonball! Thank you God!!! :grin:
