No I'm not talking about romantic rejection. In fact, I'm extremely happily married with a kid. I'm talking about rejection in general, especially in a business settings. Things like asking for a favor, making a request, or asking for a raise. When I was working for a company in my early 20's and got a better offer somewhere else, I even had problem telling my ex-boss that I was gonna quit, in fear that it would upset him. I know great salesmen or politicians would reach out to people with no fear of being rejected, but it is a skill/trait that's very rare. My question is, do you have the same fear of being rejected?
To be honest, yes. But you just have to suck it up and remember it's not personal. That's how I deal with it.
I wouldn't call if "very rare" but agree that if you don't ask for what you want in business, those who do will trample you. "Fear" is not the word I would use, but I think I do the same thing as you. I actually convince myself that it is the best for the company. It's just stupid. I went from the Army (successfully, where they promoted on performance in a very structured way...became E-5 Sergeant in the shortest time possible) to working for start-ups. I once turned down a $30k raise from investors as a primary founder in a startup in order to higher a new person. Pretty stupid, you could say. On Monday, I have the big talk with my boss, and I ain't pulling punches. Took me this long to do it. so sigh...so yes, semantics aside...I "fear" asking for what I want and get pissed when whiners around me get what they want because they whine.
This may sound heartless, but for me in those situations it helps to think of people as inanimate objects or even beneath you. As in "who cares what this person thinks of me? They put their pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us." Have a "so, what?" mindset. Of course, you don't treat them this way. Remember also that you can't control the behavior of others, so just prepare as much as you can and let the chips fall where they may.
I pretty much grew up with that same mindset...then after owning a business, you really get to a point where you have no choice. I've had to fire so many people...or cut their pay...or cut their hours. It sucks and its something that I never want to do, but if they are smart enough to understand business and that its nothing personal, then they are okay with it. If they are not smart enough to understand business, then they shouldnt have that position in the first place. Dont feel bad about making decisions in the business world...it comes with the territory.
I have that fear as well. But to overcome rejection or to reject comes with maturity and a sense of priority. I think if we're able to accomplish it with dignity and maintain the relationship, that would be the goal. I learned early on that i am dispensable, therefore no one will be my advocate except myself. The business world can be cut throat and we have to make best possible decision in the interest of ours and especially our family and children's. If the perspective comes from that point of view, the decision i think becomes rather simple.
I honestly have no fear of anything ever since I lost my virginity. I have come to a realization that i get to hit my beautiful girlfriend every night and she makes me feel like I can take on anything if I wanted to.
I have the same fear, because of the fear I just can't seem to take initiative for certain things i want to do. I don't have that kind of fear a lot when it comes to making money or making big business decisions but i have the fear when it comes to females. I wish i didn't have that fear when it came to females.......................
I do sometimes when it comes to work. I think its because I care too much what people think. And then I realize they really aren't that important.
everytime I think Im about to get rejected I am going to think of my wifes vagina and how I smash it everyday. thanks for helping me to think this way. btw glad you got to hit that finally. What was it that closed the deal?
Had this problem in my younger years.. ended up not losing my virginity until i was 21... ...Now i have STD..
I have no fear of rejection in business. I have had 5 interviews in the last month and have been rejected by all of them. I somewhat enjoy rejection because it is better than no response. I haven't experienced it with women, though. That must hurt, because it is personal.
