The episode when Bart orders a mail-order dog, gives up Santa Little Helper only to realize he misses SLH more. He goes on a mission and finds SLH in a blind man's house, then decides to break in and nab SLH. "Bart, youve reached a new low"- Lisa Then the blind man calls the cops, and Chief Wiggum shows up and the Superdog sniffs the "medicinal" mar1juana in the blind man's pocket. They tell Bart to run along, he goes home with Santas Little Helper. cut to Blind Man's House, cue Bob Marley's "Jammin'" in the Background "Jamming......"
"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!" "That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!" "Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!"
Simpsons go to Tokyo "We are experiencing some light Godzilla related turbulence . . . when we cruise up to 20,000 feet he usually just leaves us alone."
Episode in which Bart becomes Burns' heir: Lisa and Bart have just tried out to be Burns' heir at his mansion, and things didn't go too well, leading Homer, in his infinite wisdom, to say this: Homer: You both tried as hard as you could, and you both failed miserably. The morale is to never try! I also liked the Cape Fear takeoff, especially when Bart is walking down the street and Flanders pops out with clippers on his hands telling him to say his prayers...because they can't make you in school! Also, I liked it when Homer comes running into Bart's room on the "Thompsons" houseboat with a butcher knife, offering Bart a brownie. He then comes back in with a chainsaw and a hockey mask on. And of course, Kelsey Grammar singing the entire score to the HMS Pentafore.."Very well, Bart. I will send you to heaven before I send you to hell."
Chorus: Monorail!! Homer: Monorail, duh. Marge: I got someone here to help you (can't remember exactly) Homer: Is it Batman Marge: No, its a scientist Homer: batman is a scientist Marge: Its not BATMAN Monorail is an excellent episode. My favorite groundskeeper Wiley quote: Groundskeeper Wiley: I've seen you've mastered a dead tongue...let's see how you handle a live one. What's the best halloween short episode? My favorite is the Monkey's Paw. Who knew that World peace could backfire so bad. He's got a board with a nail in it!!!-Alien Alien: ....soon they will make a board with a bigger nail in it.... does someone remember the full qoute for this. its hilarious.
"They'll make bigger boards and bigger nails. And soon, they'll make a board with a nail so big, it will destroy them all!! hahahahahaha" That was a funny one!
Two stand out for me: #1.) The Beer Baron episode. Rex Banner is awesome. "Remember this, a baby crocodile might seem like a cute pet at the time, but they grow up." #2.) The Cat Burglar, where the old dude steals the world's largest cubic zirconian. Jimbo is spraypainting graffitti on a wall. Homer: "Why are you doing that?" Jimbo: "It makes me feel like a big man." Homer (checking rule book): "Yep, it's in here." Jimbo: "Hey, aren't you that dude who's going to catch the cat burglar? Can I join you?" Homer: "That depends. Can you swing a sack of doorknobs?" Jimbo: "Can I ever!" Homer: "Okay then. Here's a sack." Moe (saucily): "But you gotta supply your own knobs." "OH NO! Underage kids drinking beer without a permit!"
Picking just one episode is pretty hard. The one where Willie chases Santa's Little Helper through the air conditioning system, Alien-style, is pretty damn funny though. Willie: *rips shirt off* Grease me up, woman! Willie's actually just funny period. Skinner: "Hmm. Two Independent Thought alarms in one day. Willie, remove the colored chalk from all the classrooms." Willie: "I told ya! I told ya that chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!" or something like that.
Oh!!! I just remembered my favorite Simpsons scene ever....! The episode where Sideshow Bob's evil brother (David Hyde Pierce) is trying to blow up the Springfield dam. Bart and Lisa confront Bob thinking he is behind it. Bart: "You're the one behind this. GET HIM LISE!" Lisa charges at Bob. (He stops her pretty easily). That scene just struck me as sooo hilarious. Lisa is funny sometimes.
Thx Vengeance....I just can't remember the words sometimes. Homer with big donut head...fade out. Cops with cups of coffee. Wiggum: He's got to come out sooner or later, boys.
Although I had the most difficult time trying to rank my favorites, and these will probably shift around, here are my top 5. 5.Two Bad Neighbors "I don't care who's consolidating their power." 4.Homer the Vigilante "So I said to him, look buddy, your car was upside down when we got here, and as for your Grandma, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that." 3. Lemon of Troy "and the kid with the backpack said radical. I say radical, that's my thing that I say. I feel like I'm going to explode here...." 2.The boy who knew too much "and so we enter, endgame." 1.Bart of Darkness "I understand. Let us celebrate our new arrangement with the adding of chocolate to milk."
This is the same scene where Marge is looking at Lenny's hand-crafted spice racks and proves just how provincial she really is: "Eight spices? Some of these must be doubles. Or-Ay-Gan-O -- What the hell?"
Another great Homer-ism: Homer raids the fridge for a late-night snack. Homer: Mmmmm. Sixty-four slices of American cheese. Sixty-three. Sixty-two... Cut to morning. Marge enters the kitchen. Marge: Homer, have you been up all night eating cheese. Homer: I think I'm blind. This is the Bobo episode, where Maggie has Mr. Burns' childhood teddy bear. During the above scene, Burns and Smithers are hanging from the ceiling with suction cups. At the end, they fall to the floor and walk out.
my fav is where marge tells homer that she has a problem and he says "ok, i am going to eat some mayonaise" the lisa does the same thing and he says "it wasn't your mayonaise was it? " i laughed my ass of to that one
Favorite Episode: "22 Short Films About Springfield" Lou: You know, I went to the McDonald's in Shelbyville on Friday night. Wiggum: The McWhat? Lou: Uh, the McDonald's. I, I never heard of it either, but they have over 2,000 locations in this state alone. Eddie: Must've sprung up overnight. Lou: You know, the funniest thing though; it's the little differences. Wiggum: Example. Lou: Well, at McDonald's you can buy a Krusty Burger with cheese, right? But they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese. Wiggum: Get out! Well, what do they call it? Lou: A Quarter Pounder with cheese. Wiggum: Quarter Pounder with cheese? Well, I can picture the cheese, but, uh, do they have Krusty partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverages? Lou: Mm-hm. They call them "shakes." Eddie: Huh, shakes. You don't know what you're getting... Favorite Halloween Episode: "The Shinning" No tv and no beer make Homer something something...
One of my favorite characters -- the really tall guy in the VW Beatle "Hey everybody, it's the boy who laughs at everyone. Let's laugh at him" <i><blockquote>An extremely tall man drives past in a VW Beetle, scrunched up so his knees almost bang into his head. Nelson laughs. This proves to be his undoing. The man pulls over, unfolds himself from the car, and pursues Nelson. Realizing his predicament ("Crud.") Nelson runs off. The man rounds the corner, but sees only Lisa, and an open manhole. Of course, the manhole is where Nelson is hiding. Wadlow: [lifts Nelson out of the sewer by his head] Do you find something comical about my appearance when I'm driving my automobile? Nelson: Yeah. Wadlow: Everyone needs to drive a vehicle, even the very tall. [turns Nelson to face the car] This was the largest auto that I could afford. Am I therefore to be made the subject of fun? Nelson: I guess so. -- Nelson, unclear on the concept, "Twenty-Two Short Films About Springfield" The tall guy forces Nelson to march down Main Street, pants down. He drives slowly behind the ashamed bully. Wadlow: Hey, everybody! Look at this -- it's that boy who laughs at everyone. [Nelson] Let's laugh at him! Crowd: HA-ha!</i></blockquote>
My favorite episode of all time, also, but you forgot a couple more legendary quotes... <i>Grandpa: Matlock will take care of them Lisa: Grandpa, Matlock isn't real! Grandpa: Neither are my teeth, but I can still eat corn on the cob...if you scrape it off and mash it into a fine paste...now that's good eatin'!</i> Then the scene in Bart's new bedroom in the boat <i>Homer: HEY BART, WANT ME TO CUT YOU SOME BROWNIES! Bart: AHHHHH!! Homer: Come on, let me cut you one before they get cold Bart: Homer, I'm kinda edgy right now. I'd appreciate it if you didn't come in here screaming and brandishing a butcher knife Homer: OH, the Sideshow Bob thing! Sorry... (Homer leaves for a couple of seconds, while Bart tries to go to sleep) Homer: HEY BART, WANNA SEE MY NEW CHAINSAW AND HOCKEY MASK! Bart: AHHHH!!!</i> ...of course, the best line of the episode (and probably the entire series. It was the line during Sideshow Bob's paroll hearing. I really didn't get it until about the third time I heard it... <i>Attorney: What about the tatoo on your chest that says, 'Die Bart, Die' Sideshow Bob: That? No, that's German for 'The Bart, The" Paroll Board Member: No one who speaks German can be an evil man! Paroll granted!</i> You can't forget about the great visual gags, like Homer wearing a shirt and cap with "WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM" written on it, Bob passing out after writing all that stuff in his own blood, and Grandpa coming out with huge knockers <i>Jasper: I'm gonna court this young gal Grandpa: There's something you should know about me Jasper: I've got Steve and Edie tickets Grandpa: I'm all yours!</i> From start to finish, the most complete episode ever
