You go in the cage, cage goes in the water, you go in the water, sharks in the water-Quint from Jaws Private Hudson: Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man? Private Vasquez: No, have you? Blade: Some mother**ckers always trying to ice skate uphill. Short Round: No time for love, Dr. Jones!
Office Space. "And I sentence you to not less than four years in a federal 'pound-me-in-the-ass' prison." "Oh yes, and don't forget, next Friday is Hawaiian Shirt Day. So if you want to wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans, well, just go ahead." (all workers staring back at him with unidisguised contempt) ANY Schwarzenegger film, because they're so stupid they're good. Last Action Hero: "Do you want to be a fah-mah? (farmer) He's a couple 'acres.'" Kicks man in nuts; get it? Achers? Bu-wa-ha-ha! Same movie: "What's all this money here?" "I got that when we busted a counterfeit ring last month. I've been using it for alimony." Commando: The whole friggin movie is one quote machine of laughable stupidity.
Another quote with unintentional humor value: "Maverick, you can ride my tail anytime" - Iceman to Maverick in Top Gun "I am Godzilla and you are Japan!!!!" Treat William to Steve Buscemi (after shooting him in the chest with a shotgun) in Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead
1. "Heineken....HEINEKEN??? F$#K that **** PABST BLUE RIBBON !!" 2. " Well your better then anybody I ever had, and your the best damned hitter I ever saw, go suit up." 3. "What did you use, 220?" "220, 221, whatever it takes" Ok boys and girls...what movies....you are on the clock....GO !! DaDakota
DD: 1. ? 2. The Natural 3. Mr. Mom "Ty, I got a problem." "Do you take drugs, Danny?" "Everyday." "Then what's the problem?"
Well, this is not a movie quote but I like it anyway. "I can't promise I'll try... but I promise I'll try to try! ~Bart Simpson"
Caddyshack rules, but dont forget the Blues Brothers: What kind of music do you usually have here? Oh we have both kinds. We got country AND western. ---------------------------------------------------------- Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips!! ----------------------------------------------------------- Ya see, me and the Lord have an understanding..... ----------------------------------------------------------- Its got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, its got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. Its a model made before catalytic convertors so itll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what? Fix the cigarette lighter.
One of my favs here...can you guess what movie? "The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming quickly." "On this ship you're to refer to me as 'idiot,' not 'you captain'!" "We're Americans .. with a capital 'A', huh. You know what that means? Do ya'? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world." "Excuse me while I whip this out." "You using the whole fist there, Doc? " HL: "My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives." Taggart: Gol darnit Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier'n a twenty dollar w****. I bet you can tell who my favorite comedy film maker is...
"That's what I love about those high school girls, man. I get older, they say the saaaame age." - Wooderson, Dazed and Confused
One that hasn't been mentioned: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Raoul Duke: You can turn your back on a person, but, never turn your back on a drug. Especially when it's waving a razor-sharp hunting knife in your eye. Raoul Duke: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. Raoul Duke: Bazooko's Circus is what the world would be doing every Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war. Raoul Duke: A drug person can learn to handle such things as seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to deal with this trip. Raoul Duke: Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the b*stard chase you. He will follow. Clerk at Mint Hotel: Can I call you a cab? Police Chief: Sure, and I'll call you a c***s*****! Narrator: We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of uppers, downers, laughers, screamers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon. Raoul Duke: Let's get down to brass tacks. How much for the ape? Raoul Duke: You better take care of me, Lord. If you don't you're gonna have me on your hands.
MadMax - NICE Roxtxia - I loved Last Action Hero - we are probably the only two people in North America that liked it. I got it on DVD, I love Arnold! My Favorites: (check my sig) T2 Terminator : "I'll be Back." John Connor: You just can't go around killing people. The Terminator: Why? John Connor: What do you mean why? 'Cause you can't. The Terminator: Why? John Connor: Because you just can't, OK? Trust me on this. Dr. Silberman: I'm sure it feels very real to you. Sarah Connor: On August 29th, 1997, it's gonna feel pretty ****ing real to you too. Anybody not wearing 2 million sunblock is gonna have a real bad day. Get it? Happy Gilmore Shooter: I eat pieces of **** like you for breakfast. Happy: You eat pieces of **** for breakfast? Shooter: ...no... Billy Madison Billy Madison: Shampoo is better! I go on first and clean the hair! Conditioner is better! I leave the hair silky and smooth! Oh, really, fool? Really! (Notices gold swan on edge of tub) Stop looking at me, swan! Billy: You ain't cool unless you pee your pants! anything from Adam Sandler - Planes, Trains & Automobiles Neal: Del, why did you kiss my ear? Del: Why are you holding my hand? Neal: Where is your other hand? Del: Between two pillows. Neal: Those aren't pillows! Del Griffith: We'd have more luck playing pick-up sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak. Neal: You're like one of those Chatty Cathy dolls except I'm not pulling the string, you are. Blah! Blah! Blah! Car Rental Agent: Welcome to Marathon, may I help you? Boogie Nights Maurice: You are the foxiest b**** in ten countries. Amber: You're such a charmer. Rollergirl: I love you, Mom. I want you to be my mother, Amber. Are you my Mom? I'll ask you if you're my mother and you say, "yes." OK? -- Are you my mother -- ? Amber: Yes, honey. Yes. Record Producer: That's not an MP, that's a YP, your problem. Come up with the money, or forget it. Reed Rothchild: Okay, now you're talking above my head. I don't know all of this industry jargon, YP, MP. Neal Page: Yes. Car Rental Agent: How may I help you? Neal: You can start by wiping that ****ing dumbass smile off your rosy ****ing cheeks. Then you can give me a ****ing automobile. A ****ing Datsun, a ****ing Toyota, a ****ing Mustang, a ****ing Buick. Four ****ing wheels and a seat! Car Rental Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me. Neal: And I REALLY don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of ****ing nowhere with ****ing keys to a ****ing car that isn't ****ing there. And I really didn't care to ****ing walk down a ****ing highway and across a ****ing...runway to get back here to have you smile at my ****ing face. I want a ****ing car right...****ing...now! Car Rental Agent: May I see your rental agreement? Neal: (through gritted teeth) I threw it away. Car Rental Agent: Oh boy. Neal Page: Oh boy what? Car Rental Agent: You're ****ed. Stand by Me Chris Chambers: How do you know a frenchman's been in your yard? Teddy DuChamp: Hey, I'm french, ok? Chris: Your garbage cans are empty and your dog's pregnant. Teddy: Hey! Didn't I just say I was French? Tombstone Doc: I'm your huckleberry. Fight Club Tyler Durden: The first rule of fight club is, you don't talk about fight club. The second rule of fight club is, you don't talk about fight club. The Shawshank Redemption Andy: Get busy living, or get busy dying. Andy Dufresne: If they ever try to trace any of those accounts, they're gonna end up chasing a figment of my imagination. Red: Well, I'll be damned. Did I say you were good? ****, you're a Rembrandt! Andy Dufresne: Yeah. The funny thing is - on the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to be a crook. Jerry Maguire Ray Boyd: Do you know that the human head weights eight pounds? Jerry: Did you know that Troy Aikman, in only 6 years has passed for 16-303 yards? Ray: Do you know that the bees and dogs can smell fear? Jerry: Did you know that the career record for hits is 4.256 by Pete Rose who is NOT in the Hall of Fame? Ray: Do you know that my next door neighbor has three rabbits? Jerry: I..I can't compete with that! Rod Tidwell: Show me the Money. Rod Tidwell: Anyone else would have left you by now but I'm sticking with you. And if I have to ride your ass like Zorro, you're gonna show me the money. Bob Sugar: It's not "show friends." It's show business. Jerry: Do you want this jacket? I don't need it. I'm cloaked in failure. Jerry: You complete me. Dorothy Boyd: Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at "hello." The American President Lewis: Hey, George? Can I tell you something? We're gonna win this thing. We're gonna get the votes and we're gonna win. And after we do, I mean that very night, I'm gonna go to Sam & Harry's, I'm gonna order a big steak, and I'm gonna make a list of everybody who tried to **** us this week. Robin: Lewis! Lewis: Vote your conscience, you chicken-**** lame-ass! (hangs up phone) We lost Jarrett. Kodak: I hope so. 'Cause, you know, if that was an "undecided," then we need to work on our people skills. President Andrew Shepherd: The symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then you can stand up and sing about the land of the free. President Andrew Shephed : My name is Andrew Shepherd and I AM the President. Far too many quotes too list...
Vecsey, It gets better Sully: I thought you said you were going to kill me last? Ahnuld: I lied (drops Sully off a cliff and goes back to car) RDC: where's Sully? Ahnuld: I let him go
Lemme see. Any quote from office space is good. DVD's I need to add to my collecdtion:Office Space, Billy Madison, and Ferris buhlers day off
Ooops, I forgot about the Sixth Day. Classic Arnold... "Doesn't anybody die any more?" "Why kill me and not the clone?" "I might be back." "This time stay dead." "My daughter's inside. I don't want her exposed to any graphic violence, she gets enough from the media." And the best Arnold quotes EVER: "I hope you clone yourself... So then you can go f*** yourself." "When I said 'go screw yourself' I didn't mean it literally."
Well, since everyone is posting some pretty long quotes, here's the funniest five minutes of dialogue in the history of movies (in my opinon of course.) The one-sided conversation between the President of the United States and the Soviet Premier in Dr. Strangelove. Peter Sellers was hilarious President Merkin Muffley: [to Kissoff] Hello? ... Ah ... I can't hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? ... Oh-ho, that's much better. ... yeah ... huh ... yes ... Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri. ... Clear and plain and coming through fine. ... I'm coming through fine, too, eh? ... Good, then ... well, then, as you say, we're both coming through fine. ... Good. ... Well, it's good that you're fine and ... and I'm fine. ... I agree with you, it's great to be fine. ... a-ha-ha-ha-ha ... Now then, Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Bomb. ... The *Bomb*, Dmitri. ... The *hydrogen* bomb! ... Well now, what happened is ... ah ... one of our base commanders, he had a sort of ... well, he went a little funny in the head ... you know ... just a little ... funny. And, ah ... he went and did a silly thing. ... Well, I'll tell you what he did. He ordered his planes ... to attack your country... Ah... Well, let me finish, Dmitri. ... Let me finish, Dmitri. ... Well listen, how do you think I feel about it?! ... Can you *imagine* how I feel about it, Dmitri? ... Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello? ... *Of course* I like to speak to you! ... *Of course* I like to say hello! ... Not now, but anytime, Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened... It's a *friendly* call. Of course it's a friendly call. ... Listen, if it wasn't friendly ... you probably wouldn't have even got it. ... They will *not* reach their targets for at least another hour. ... I am ... I am positive, Dmitri. ... Listen, I've been all over this with your ambassador. It is not a trick. ... Well, I'll tell you. We'd like to give your air staff a complete run-down on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the planes. ... Yes! I mean i-i-i-if we're unable to recall the planes, then ... I'd say that, ah ... well, ah ... we're just gonna have to help you destroy them, Dmitri. ... I know they're our boys. ... All right, well listen now. Who should we call? ... *Who* should we call, Dmitri? The ... wha-whe, the People... you, sorry, you faded away there. ... The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters. ... Where is that, Dmitri? ... In Omsk. ... Right. ... Yes. ... Oh, you'll call them first, will you? ... Uh-huh ... Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dmitri? ... Whe-ah, what? I see, just ask for Omsk information. ... Ah-ah-eh-uhm-hm ... I'm sorry, too, Dmitri. ... I'm very sorry. ... *All right*, you're sorrier than I am, but I am as sorry as well. ... I am as sorry as you are, Dmitri! Don't say that you're more sorry than I am, because I'm capable of being just as sorry as you are. ... So we're both sorry, all right?! ... All right.
more Commando quotes [Matrix has thrown a pipe through Bennett] Matrix: Let off some steam, Bennett. Sully: Here's twenty dollars to get some drinks in Val Verde. It'll give us all a little more time with your daughter. Henriques: Heh. Matrix: You're a funny man, Sully, I like you. That's why I'm going to kill you last. Matrix: Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last? Sully: That's right, Matrix. You did! Matrix: I lied. Matrix: I eat Green Berets for breakfast. Matrix: I'll be back, Bennett! Matrix: Don't break radio silence until they see me. Cindy: How will I know? Matrix: Because all ****ing hell is going to break loose. Major Gen. Franklin Kirby: Keep on the airwaves and let me know if you hear anything unusual. Soldier: I'll keep at it. What are you expecting? Major Gen. Franklin Kirby: World War Three. Biggs, Mall Security Guard: Attention all units, emergency on theater level, suspect six foot two, brown hair. He is one gigantic mother****er! Soldier: **** you, *******! Col. John Matrix: **** YOU, *******! Cindy: I don't beleive this macho bull****!
