Frank Drebbin:Why would he be hanging around in that district? Chief: Sex Frank? Frank: Not now, boss. We have work to do! From The Naked Gun Lookout guy: The sherrif is a ni*BELL RINGS*er Person A: What did he say? Person B: He said the sherrif is-a-near. From Blazing Saddles Princess Leia: You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought. That can be taken on soooo many levels.
Almost any Schwarzenegger film has a lifetime's supply of lines so bad they're good. Half of these are bad because of his appalling accent. Unintentional comedies galore! From LAST ACTION HERO (yes, I saw it: once.) MAN is accosting SCHWARZENEGGER in the street. ARNIE asks, "Do you want to be a farmer?" (FAH-muh?) He drop-kicks the guy's nuts. "Here's a couple 'achers.'" Ba-da-bing! From COMMANDO (all-time worst film): BAD GUY: Fu-- you, a--hole. (pulls trigger of gun he's pointing at our hero; CLICK, CLICK. He registers stunned disbelief.) ARNIE: Fo-- YOU, a--hoal. (beats BAD GUY senseless, kills him) Ba-da-bing! RAE DAWN CHONG, as LEAD BIMBO: What'd you do with Scully? ARNIE: (who just dropped Scully from cliff) I let him go. Ba-da-bing! ARNIE pins villain to steam compressor with pipe he broke from the wall. Steam vents from pipe that's sticking from our perforated villain. ARNIE says: Let off some steam, Bennett. That Arnie: he sure knows how to deliver a line!
"I am an FBI agent!" Keanu Reeves in Point Break It's not so much the actual line, but how Keanu says it. Sometimes he tries too hard to be serious and it really shows. ~~~ "You expect me to talk, Goldfinger?" "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die." Goldfinger
I was born to love you, I was born to lick your face, I was born to rub you, But you were born to rub me first.
Office Space: "I'm thinking about taking that new chick from logistics. If everything goes right, I'll be showing her my O-face. Oh! Oh! Oh!" "Hell, Lumbergh f***** her!" "I'm sentencing you to five years in a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison." Spaceballs "Now you see, Lone Star, that evil will always triumph because good is dumb." "Yogurt! I hate Yogurt! Especially with strawberries..." "These aren't them! You've captured their stunt doubles!" PCU "What is this? You're gonna wear this to the show. You're gonna wear the shirt of the band that you're gonna go see. Don't be that guy." "Katie, you're a freshman... Go find 3000 people." "You passed out cigarettes for a smoke-a-thon on Earth Day, you installed speed bumps on the handicap ramps, and most recently, you dumped a hundred pounds of....meat, on a peaceful vegan protest!" "Oh, come on! That was way more than a hundred pounds!" "Can you blow me where the pampers is?" "Wha-" "Can you SHOW me where the CAM-PUS is?"
Not a definitive list of favorites, but a few that come to mind. "why is there a watermelon there?" "the condom is the glass slipper of our generation, you slip one on when you meet a stranger, you dance all night, then throw it away, the condom I mean, not the stranger" "maybe we'll meet again someday, when the fighting stops" "its insanity max" "or maybe its genius" "boy, sure is raining cats and dogs" and the ever classic "put that coffee down, coffee's for closers"
Great thread. There are so, so many: "Badges? We don't need no stinking badges." "What we have here is a failure to communicate." "Go ahead, make my day." "Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine." "Get busy living, or get busy dying." "Seven years of college down the drain."
Can't believe that no one has said this one: Here's Johnny! - Jack Torrance in "The Shining" That movie also features one of my all-time favorite exchanges between 2 characters: Jack is talking to Delbert (Charles) Grady in the bathroom and Grady says this: My girls, sir, they didn't care for the Overlook at first. One of them actually stole a pack of matches and tried to burn it down. But I... CORRECTED them, sir. And when my wife tried to prevent me from doing my duty, I CORRECTED her. Another favorite exchange is from another Kubrick classic: Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Private Joker, do you believe in the Virgin Mary? Private Joker: Sir, no sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Well Private Joker, I don't believe I heard you correctly! Private Joker: Sir, the private said "no sir," sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Why you little maggot, you make me want to vomit! [Slaps Joker] You godd**ned communist heathen, you had best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary, or I'm gonna stomp your guts out! And finally another one of my all-time favorites: Eve Kendall: What happened with your first two marriages? Roger O. Thornhill: My wives divorced me. Eve Kendall: Why? Roger O. Thornhill: They said I led a dull life. Roger Thornhill: And what the devil is all this about? Why was I brought here? Phillip Vandamm: Games, must we? Roger Thornhill: Not that I mind a slight case of abduction now and then, but I have tickets for the theater this evening, to a show I was looking forward to and I get, well, kind of *unreasonable* about things like that. Phillip Vandamm: With such expert playacting, you make this very room a theater. Roger Thornhill: No. No, Mother, I have not been drinking. No. No. These two men, they poured a whole bottle of bourbon into me. No, they didn't give me a chaser. Man at Prairie Crossing: That's funny, that plane's dustin' crops where there ain't no crops. Eve Kendall: I'm a big girl. Roger Thornhill: Yeah, and in all the right places, too. Roger Thornhill: I don't like the games you play, professor. The Professor: War is hell, Mr. Thornhill, even when it's a cold one. Roger O. Thornhill: How does a girl like you get to be a girl like you? Roger O. Thornhill: The only performance that will satisfy you is when I play dead. Phillip Vandamm: Your very next role. You'll be quite convincing, I assure you. There are many more, but you get the point.
"Excuse me, miss. What's the Soup De Jour?" "It's the soup of the day." "Mmmm...that sounds good. I'll have that." "Hell, you're so drunk. You're probably seeing double!" "I have two guns. One for each of ya." "Think she hates me?" "With a passion." "Think it's the hat? A lot of people hate this hat. It angers them, just the sight of it." "Marie, are you awake? Good. You look so beautiful and peaceful, you almost look dead. I'm glad because there is something that has always been very difficult for me to say. I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit. I've never been relaxed enough around anyone to be able to say that. You give me confidence in myself. I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days and the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days and the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it. Anyway, I've decided that tomorrow, when the time is right, I'm going to ask you to marry me, if that's o.k. with you, just don't say anything. You've made me very happy." "Hey Harry, look at this! What's the matter with these cans?" "Die milk face!" "These cans are defective - they're springing leaks! Come over here and look at this!" "Listen, you better run for cover or you're going to spring a leak!" "Huh?" "We don't have defective cans, we have a defective person out there!" "He hates these cans! Stay away from the cans!" "I need a man with a tattoo on his dick! Now, do I have that man?" "Well, sir. By a strange set of circumstances, yes you do." I will stop for now...because lord knows I could probably keep going and going. But I need to get to class.
"Yip-e-ki-yay Motherf*cker!" -Bruce Willis Die Hard My favorite line of all time. With "I'll be back" as a close second. Also great one-liners from Tommy Boy: Richard : Your dad could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves. Tommy: You know, you can get a good look at a butcher's ass by shoving your head up it but wouldn't you rather take his word for it? Tommy: You can take a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a bull's ass, but wouldn't you rather take the butcher's word for it? http://us.imdb.com/Quotes?0114694
Say hello to my little friend" - Scarface (Al Pacino ) "You talkin' to me?" - Taxi Driver (Robert De Niro) "My name is Bond, James Bond" (Sean Connery)
Clerks Warning - Dirty Language Dante: You said you only had sex with three different guys; you never mentioned him! Veronica: Because I never HAD sex with him. Dante: You sucked his dick! Veronica: We went out a few times. We never had sex but we fooled around. Dante: Oh my God, WHY did you tell me you only had sex with three different guys? Veronica: Because I DID only have sex with three different guys; that doesn't mean I didn't just go with people. Dante: Oh my God, I feel so nauseous! Veronica: I'm sorry, Dante, I thought you understood! Dante: I did understand! I understood that you had sex with three different guys and that's all you said! Veronica: Please calm down. Dante: How many? Veronica: Dante... Dante: How many dicks have you sucked? Veronica: Let it go! Dante: How many? Veronica: All right, shut up a second and I'll tell you! Jesus! I didn't freak out like this when you told me how many girls you ****ed! Dante: This is different, this is important. How many? [long pause as customer buys something] Dante: Well? Veronica: Something like... 36. Dante: What? Something like 36? Veronica: Lower your voice. Dante: Wait a minute, what is that anyway, something like 36? Does that INCLUDE me? Veronica: Ummm...37. Dante: I'm 37?! Later on... Dante: My girlfriend's sucked 37 dicks! Customer: In a row?
BGM left out my favorite part of that scene: (Daunte to Veronica): Try not to suck any dicks on the way to the parking lot... (Daunte to some guy in the parking lot): Hey...Hey you! Get back here!
Whats this, thug holding up a bowling ball. I guess you dont play golf- the DUDE the guy gets on top and starts doing it then stuff squrits out of his penis. what is it? SPAM- singles "where is your father?"- wife/mother He is upstairs masturbating to gay p*rn- kids again?- wife Kids in the hall Brain candy. But he will see the big map! dr. Strangelove It was just a harmless gasoline fight, Zoolander
