Do you realize how easy it is for a "mother" to get a restraining order against a "father". I called numerous times to check on my sons well being, as stated that I was allowed to in my decree, leaving numerous messages for a call back...not threatening, not angry, just checking on my son. My lawyer gets a call from her lawyer about harassment and threatens to file a restraining order and my lawyer tells me that he can get it. Put the shoe on the other foot and the father gets laughed at and belittled. I guarantee it.
You cannot KNOW anything in this case. You are making assumptions based on your own experience which has obviously been difficult and painful for you. I'm sorry for your problems but you are projecting.
But what about these stats? • According to the US Department of Justice, 70% of confirmed cases of child abuse and 65% of parental murders of children are committed by mothers. • Police investigators and academics believe that 15% of the roughly 7,000 Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) cases reported each year in the United States are really cases of suffocation, primarily committed by the mother. This alone accounts for at least 1,000 homicides a year. Criminologists point out many if not most cases of SIDS aren’t reported and, because autopsies are rarely able to distinguish between suffocation and SIDS, the actual number of murdered infants is probably much higher. • Female juvenile crime rose 75% from 1980 to 1999, and female crime rose 200%. At the same time, violent crime nationwide declined. • Infanticide in the industrialized nations is as common or more common as the killings of adults, and the vast majority of these infants are killed by their mothers, according to the World Health Organization • A custodial mother is five times more likely to murder her own children as a custodial father, adjusting for the greater number of single mothers, according to the US Department of Health and Human Services.
I apologize for the tone in my post. You are right in that it has been difficult and painful for me. I speak from the experinces of the numerous divorced dads support groups to which I belong. You are also right in that I do not know if he was actually harrassing her or not. Actually, neither of us do.
I don't agree with much of what you said, but I'm not walking in your shoes, so I can't comment on how you feel. I'm sure you are doing the best you can and you're obviously in a tough spot. Good luck.
It's good to know that we can agree to disagree. Thank you. Things are actually starting to look a little better. My ex is starting to allow my son to spend every other Saturday night with me. She also agreed to switch days to facilitate in my sons baptism. I know I should start another thread, but I don't want to curse it.
I'm not going to get into a pro-life, pro-choice argument. The law is what it is. The pro-choicers won that case. Here are the choices that can be made: 1) Woman can keep the kid and compel child support. 2) Woman can unilaterally decide to abort, thus extinguishing the father's expectation of parenthood. Seems like the choices here are one sided, eh? It's hard to believe that we sit here in 2002 and do not have a system to protect the interests of all the parties. I'm not sure what a workable solution would be, but there are a lot of really smart people out there that could hammer it out.
I would agree with Falcon that the Family Code is a joke...or more importantly, that the immediate decision of most judges to favor the woman over the man in a child custody battle (even despite overwhelming evidence at times) is a problem. That's not me trying to bash women...mothers play a tremendous role in the raising of children...one that can't be overstated, quite frankly. But there does seem to be some clear value to having a father around...that's why I hate to see people with children so quickly move towards divorce when they perceive that things aren't working.
Actually he is basing is opinion on the ASSUPTION that they statement he was responding to was true. It seems that we AUTOMATICALLY beleive that a man is abusing a woman . .. not matter the lack of evident. . no matter if she was actually the abuser. If a woman is beating you down . . AND SOME WOMEN CAN FIGHT! . . .what options a man has. . .he can RUN or. . . uhm. . . . .GOTO JAIL. Defending himself is not a real option. Rocket River
Maybe that's because, according to statistics, one of the most dangerous things a woman can do is be near a man. - An estimated six million women are assaulted by a male partner each year and of these, 1.8 million are severely assaulted. (Straus, 1993.) - In 1995, twenty-six percent (26%) of all female murder victims were slain by their husbands or boyfriends. (Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1996.) - In 1994, sixty-two percent (62%) of the victimizations of females (2,981,479 victimizations) were committed by persons they knew while sixty-three percent (63%) of the victimizations of males (3,949,285) were by strangers. (Craven, 1997). - Of the National Women's Study sample of 4,008 adult women, over one percent (1.2%) or an estimated 1,155,600 adult American women, were forcibly raped one or more times by their husbands. (National Center for Victims of Crime & Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center, 1992.) These numbers have actually increased over the past five years because they are being increasingly reported by women. They've always happened (probably in greater numbers in the past), but they were rarely reported. Yes, it is true that women can be the abuser, but it is much more rare and abuse of a woman by her spouse or boyfriend is all too common.
OH . . . Why even have a trail What is the points of the Stats? one if from National Women's Study [consider the source] and The Automatic Assume could lead to some of these stats I mean 6 million assualt and 1.8 severely? How many of these were ASSUMED to be real simply because the woman reported it. . . Newsflash . .. some women lie. Rocket River
You could just as easily say that some minorities lie when they say that they are still victims of racism.
- In 1995, twenty-six percent (26%) of all female murder victims were slain by their husbands or boyfriends. (Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1996.) Newsflash ... you can't tell a lie when you're dead.
but lies can be told for you if you're dead during an election in Chicago! (what will happen when the laughing stops!)
Oh please...I mean really. There are lies, damned lies...and then there are statistics. But since you made the statement I must refute it...here are some thing a woman can do that are more dangerous than being near a man. 1) Play golf in a lightening storm. 2) Clean a gun without loading it. 3) Stick a penny in the lightsocket. Need I go on? I know that domestic violence is a problem...but I don't think it is as big of a problem as the "reputable" sources of your statistics may lead you to believe. I have been on this planet for alomost 30 years and have known a lot of people. I have known a grand total of 1 guy who hit a girl (I later terrorized him for it). I'm sure I'm not the only one to have a similar experience.
the problem is your sample size isn't real diverse...you grew up in a good neighborhood...went to a good school...went to a good university...went to law school...you're more likely to see domestic abuse in other areas, as I understand it. This is like me going to Arkansas and not finding one person who voted for Clinton while hanging out around my wife's family's conservative friends!
