This is a good point. There was a girl I briefly dated in college who was 5'6" and weighed 185lbs. People poked fun at her constantly. After years of this and not being able to lose weight regardless of what she tried, she went to a doctor for the 120th time. On that last try, the doctor did a complete blood workup. He diagnosed her with a thyroid condition that several other doctors had not noticed. It had gotten worse over time. She was treated for it, and in the 6 months that followed, she dropped a good deal of the weight. That doctor theorized that there are a lot of young women who have thyroid conditions that are undiagnosed because a good number of doctors do not think about thyroid when the patient is young.
I've seen that sometimes, the big girl with b*tchy personality thing. I figure life is so rude to them that it's just a defense mechanism, but it doesn't make them pleasant to deal with. Of course, everyone is different. Sounds like y'all made the best evening of it you could given the circumstances. When I was 18-19, I wouldn't have dated an overweight guy (or one more than a couple inches shorter than me, etc.). I still had some "physical" standards, and in retrospect I wish I hadn't. You miss out on a lot that way. Some younger people are still immature about that. When I was finally single again later, an overweight guy would have been fine with me, and would have been welcomed if he'd had the personality and the interest in me (which were the same criteria I had for skinnier guys). I was actually thinking it might happen that way and looking forward to not having to feel bad by comparison if I gained a few extra pounds... though the one I ended up with was thinner, it was actually not what I would have preferred, believe it or not. But again, the physical stuff isn't important to me now. My best female friend is a big girl, but healthy. She's always been big to some extent. I agree that some people's metabolism sucks. (and some really do eat salads and fruits - and some just say that in front of people, but I can kind of see why) Guys who refuse to date overweight women (including the only slightly overweight ones) should post pics of themselves or at least heights and weights. If you're thin or in shape, then you've earned the right to be picky if you want to. Otherwise... no.
Isabel, There was a pretty revealing thread a couple of weeks ago: Who's the heaviest clutchfans member? (I've tried to find it, but no success) Dozens of people were posting their weight, and... we've got some big boys here. So anyway, your point is well-taken. My take is: as long as someone isn't harming their health (and obesity does that), they can be sexy to me. I do like a variety of shapes (with Mrs. B-Bob being the best shape, of course). But I've never had sympathy for the "all shapes are beautiful" take. True obesity leads to all kinds of health complications, and I'd make an analogy to teeth. Some of us have to brush our teeth more than others, and some of us get cavities even with intense toothcare, but to truly let your teeth go, rot, etc... yeah, it would be considered a turnoff. You can always make some difference in your weight, if you try, just like you can see your dentist, bathe, use deoderant, etc. Just my 2 cents. PS -- I apparently am missing D&D. Sheesh.
I don't mind if a girl is slightly over-weight. In fact, most of the girls that we consider "normal weight" are actually very under-weight as far as health concerned. Most of the skinny girls I met have some serious self-image problems. If a girl care about how she looks so much that she refuse to eat, or throw up after a meal, then she will probably cause you nothing but troubles down the road.
There's no reason to call anyone shallow. Some people just aren't turned on by heavy girls. Just like some people aren't turned on by skinny girls. Or like some guys don't like girls whatsoever. It's just how we're each individually wired, I think.
If one couldn't see any user names next to the posts, it would be very easy to see which posts were made by females and which ones weren't...
My standards are pretty much directly proportional to my own relative weight. I'm about 10-15 lbs over my ideal weight and even though I haven't been able to do much cardio due to a strained IT Band, I'm still losing weight and getting closer to my goal. So I don't mind a girl who's 10-15 lbs over her ideal weight either.
or they don't have time to waste on girls they will never be interested in dating. They might also be really nice by not giving the fatty false hope.
I'm 6'0, 195 lbs and I can see my abs without flexing. I don't think my genetics have much to do with it either. I eat right and I work out 4 days per week. I will not date a girl who doesn't take care of herself the same way that I do. I'm not attracted to laziness.
There is a big difference between being too skinny. I think people, from an evolutionary standpoint are attracted to health. I'm attracted to girls who eat regularly and work out - thats it. That have some muscle tone, and are just healthy. I'm attracted to health. Someone skinny who purges isn't healthy and isn't attractive. Someone who eats fast food and has more cottage cheese on their thighs than the Kroger Deli aren't healthy and thus aren't attractive.
Isabel hit the nail on the head. Young people sometimes hold themselves back by screening mates based on physical standards only. I'm pretty thin (5-11 170) and I'm lucky to have an thin girlfriend, but I've come to appreciate that even if she gains weight, I would still love her for more valuable characteristics. NOT saying you should bang the fatty. She doesn't sound like she has any redeeming qualities.
I like a girl who would be within the 5'5"-5'9" and 150-185lb range. Trust me this is not overweight, but it depends on the shape. If she got thick thighs and a nice cushion(body type preference, big boobs not necessary, but a plus) she's gonna be within that weight range. I'm a skinny dude, but I don't care for skinny girls nor fat girls.
At least that's reasonable. A girl like that has some meat/curves but is not in the totally obese category. (also, in case anyone in here is wondering: 1) I'm kind of like that but taller, 2) I'm taken and don't even think about it, 3) I have two things that are guaranteed to be bigger than your girlfriend's, whoever she is, and are all natural besides. 4) no pics ) I would like to lose 15-20 lbs and hopefully can get a start on it when I'm not working and going to school both full time. Overweight is not always lazy depending on what the person is doing with his/her time. ...and that being said, it's Saturday, my fiance and I have been sitting in the apartment all day supposed to be doing our schoolwork but it's progressing slowly, but sometimes it's fun to catch up with everyone on the bbs. We should get out and walk around though.
Now see... that is something I would apologize about a friend for. Who in their right mind doesn't like basketball?? Football maybe? Baseball possibly? But Basketball? Girl has bigger issues than her weight!!
I say it goes both ways. If the available single girl was average body and semi cute, if Franchise 2001 recommended his young Al Roker lookalike friend along, there's a possiblity the girl wouldnt be into him. She might be more nicer and discreet in her disapproval but its the same thing in the end - person rejected for not being a particular standard.
