Very good points above by AntiSonic, Major Malcontent, and Hayesfan (exactly, maybe guys do this kind of thing but we shouldn't be encouraging it or going along with it by putting our larger friends down). Or like Champ Caliber said, if you (meaning the wingman) don't want to get in this situation just don't get into it in the first place. That way, the girl does not have to spend a miserable evening with you. It's not all about you, you know. I really feel for the bigger girls of the world right now, thinking about how it must feel to have most guys see you that way, or talk down about you to impress their friends. (and you can try to lose weight but it's not an easy or overnight process, and some people are just built to be big) What's wrong with appreciating different human shapes? There need to be more Major Malcontents to go around.
You know, this makes a ton of sense. When I was younger (in college), I dated several women who were a little on the large side. I also dated smaller, more fit women. What I learned is this...a great personality can make up for a lot of physical imperfections. There was one girl in particular that was a little larger that I had a much better time hanging out with than the more fit girl I had just broken up with.
I kind of believe two kinds of pretty. 1)The kind of girl who everyone acknowledges is attractive. 2) The "get to know" pretty. These are the women that not everyone finds attractive but once you get to know them, they elevate their status to where they're on the same level (or higher) as the classically pretty ones. I kind of think of it as inner beauty triumphing over outer beauty. This 2nd group is very subjective and it just depends what you as an individual respond to. I also believe it affects different people differently. For some people, inner beauty doesn't mean jack squat. For others, it means almost everything. For others it can only increase attractiveness only to a certain point. I'm in the middle. I can be attracted to someone who wouldn't be considered attractive by most people. But there is a line where no amount personality/coolness/intelligence can make up for a lack of natural physical attraction. It works the other way too. Inner ugliness is a complete turnoff. I think Paris Hilton is attractive but the way she acts makes her really ugly in my book. The problem with judging how attracted you are to a person solely by photos is that you don't get an opportunity to factor inner beauty into the equation.
Ask you friend if he's ever 'had' a fat chick. Tell him once he gets over his ego, they are pretty comfortable ride. He might just turn into a chubby-chaser.
If you guys are wingmen, your buddy will go. Just know that you will owe him big time and may have to reciprocate. Personally, I'd go for my buddy. If it came down me taking one for the team so my buddy would score, I'd do that too. It's not the end of the world. At least he will get laid, and that's more than some guys ever get, fat or skinny.
I don't know why anyone is feeling sorry for the 250 pound girl. I wouldn't. There is no excuse to letting yourself go to that degree. Not only is it simply disgusting to look at, it shows that that person doesn't care about their health, is most likely lazy, and has little to no self control. These aren't attractive qualities in a woman. Overweight/chubby is just fine. I like girls when they're a little thick, I will admit. But you shouldn't have to make excuses for not wanting to go out with an obese woman. Your friend should suck it up though, if you really do need the help.
Ok... First of all, I don't mind extra weight (we all go through cycles of +15 lbs or so). Second of all, I'm glad that we did the myspace recon beforehand. I'm not talking chubby guys (and gals, and I see this thread has struck a nerve)... this girl was big big. It's one of those times where you click on a picture, back up and go "wooooooah". Given that, the intial shock of it was gone and we were genuinely nice because we knew what to expect. Dinner was ok. She said her diet pretty much consisted of salads and fruit (ok...) and that she was in culinary school but didn't see the point in tasting the foods she cooked (she doesn't eat meat).
Exactly. I don't see why people are getting on him for that. Of course, she still might be a very cool person but lets not act like everyone here normally dates 250 pound women. And I'd like to know how many women, especially the ones that have commented here, have dated an obese man. I'm sure everyone here has turned down their share of fat boys/girls.
Yeah, I was pretty disturbed as well by the text. According to her, all of her friends are married or have boyfriends (with the exception of the girl from last night). She also has a 2 year old boy so she doesn't go out much. This doesn't change the fact that all she had to do was tell me straight up that she didn't have many single friends. Honestly, had I have known the situation in advance, I would have asked to just go out on a single date. My friend literally moved here 3 days ago and just wanted to get out and have fun. We did that but it COULD have been better. We are going to be on the road for about 3 weeks pretty much out of civilization... god forbid I want to set my friend up with a relatively attractive female. LESSON LEARNED. Major Mal... I can give the girl your email. She can cook you food and won't eat it herself. She wears jean jackets regularly if you like that sort of thing too.
If a girl is 250 lbs I'm pretty sure her self-esteem is already too shot to hell to be set up on a blind date. If I was that big I wouldn't want to put the other person in that position. But tell your friend for the time being to be nice to her, but her some drinks, and maybe even a dance. Other women will think he's a really sweet guy to take a girl out that is that big, and maybe he can get some other girls numbers while he's out.
I tell my guy friends that don't work out and still complain if a girl has the standard 15-30 pounds over where they could be that they can't b*tch. If you want to hold those standards, hold them for your damned self. It takes a lot of work to reshape your body after years/months of inactivity. Last night we did receive tons of mean looks from other tables and honestly, it was starting to piss me off. As far as my "wingman" goes, he was cool about it. He tried to hold conversations with her, but she was pretty ridiculous as a person in general(oh no... here goes shallow, judgmental Franchise2001 again). We were at a bar for a bit watching the Spurs/Suns game and she wouldn't shutup about how stupid basketball was. My friend did a good job though since the "goal" of the mission was eventually accomplished and I will leave it at that.
Seriously. Something about overweight women makes them louder and more obnoxious than other women. I guess if they can't get attention in a positive way, they'll get it any way they can. Also, congrats on:
Sounds like she didn't have a winning personality. I am just as picky as any of you guys about the stuff "I" find important. My gf is smart (Masters of Library Science), kind, and A lot of fun to be around. Far as what Apollo Creed said, you don't always have to "let yourself go" to be morbidly obese, I know people of both sexes who work out with regularity, seldom eat anything fattening that still go two bills and change (sometimes a lot of change) because their metabolism really sucks. Mind you I am not one of them. I am morbidly obese because I DO eat a lot of fattening stuff, chase it with beer and my metabolism kinda sucks to boot. I just don't get why its still o.k for "enlightened" people who would never comment negatively on anything else about a person (race, creed, religion, sexual preference) to make fun of fat people. And then slap themselves on the back for it because they are just trying to make us "healthy" I just wish if someone really feels compelled to call another human being who they have never met "disgusting" they should come over and call ME disgusting. I am a big boy with good self esteem and I can take it.
Hmm...a really large chick out on a double date and doesn't eat much claiming she only eats "salads and fruits". So, what else is new? What are you eating when nobody is watching? Maybe should have started the "salads and fruits" thing a little earlier? As far as her being a chef and not seeing the point in tasting the food she cooks, what the hell is she thinking??? You have to taste your food. She won't make it if she assumes her food tastes good. Chef Ramsey would be going ballistic right about now.
