Now that all the news has died down in the GARM, there's nothing left to read so I thought itd be fun to post your all time Family Guy quotes. That, and I'm extremely bored at work today. They're lucky to have me . Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.' Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios. Peter: (Drunk)Thank god its you Lois, the other 3 houses I went to were very rude.
"How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off." --Stewie
Stewie: You want to see something else disgusting? *FART* (eye turns red) "Ouch I popped a blood vessel!!!"
Salesman: I'm selling volcano insurance. Peter: There are no volcanoes in Rhode Island. Salesman: Well, don't you think we're due for one then? Peter: Touche, salesman.
Forgot my favorite: Peter: I'm not drunk, I'm just exhausted because I've been up all night drinking.
Diane Simmons: And now, Part 3 of Asian correspondent: Tricia Takanawa's special report on sex. Tricia Takanawa: Thank you, Diane. Sex... some people have it anonymously. "What kind of person might do that?" You might ask. Well, I'm about to find out. I just picked a complete stranger in a hotel bar, and he's in the bathroom, possibly doing drugs. Watch as I have sex with this potentiality dangerous man, as we take you in depth and undercover. Glen Quagmire: I never had a Spanish chick before. Ole!
Police Officer: Hey. That's Against the law. You're coming with me. Peter Griffin: [singing to the tune of U Can't Touch this] Ah ah ah. Can't Touch Me/ Can't Touch me/ Ja ja ja ja just like the bad guy/ from Lethal Weapon 2/ I've got diplomatic Immunity/ so Hammer, you can't sue/ I can write graffiti even jay-walk in the streets/ I can Riot, loot, not give a hoot, and touch your sister's teat/ Can't touch me/ Can't touch me/ Adam West: What in God's name is he doing? Peter Griffin: Can't Touch me. Cleveland: I believe that's the worm. Peter Griffin: [still singing] Can't touch me/ STOP, Peter time/ I'm a big shot, there's no doubt/ light a fire then pee it out/ Don't like it, kiss my rump/ Just for a minute, let's all do the bump/ Can't touch me/ Yeah, do the Peter Griffin Bump/ Can't touch me/ I'm Presidential Peter/ Interns think I'm hot/ Don't care if you're handicapped, I'll still park in your spot/ I've been around the world/ from Hartford to Back Bay/ It's Peter, Go Peter, I'm so Peter, Yo Peter, Let's see Regis rap this way/ Can't touch me.
Chris: Dad, what's the blow-hole for? Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World. www.familyguyquotes.com
Peter [as a child]: “Why did all the dinosaurs die out?” Tour Guide: “Because you touch yourself at night.”
Miss Ironbox: You sir, are a degenerate! Peter: Degenerate eh? Well you are a vestigio. See? I can make up words too..
Olivia: You are the weakest link, goodbye. (laughter) Stewie: Ha ha ha! Oh gosh that's funny! That's really funny! Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You are the weakest link goodbye. You know, I've, I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Hmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, reference that outside the program before. Because that's what she says on the show right? Isn't it? You are the weakest link goodbye. And, and yet you've taken that and used it out of context to insult me in this everyday situation. God what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. That's so fresh too. Any, any Titanic jokes you want to throw at me too as long as we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity. God you're so funny!
"hey there muscley arms...got any good news for me?" "do you like popsicles? ive got a whole freezer full of popsicles down in my basement. you want to come down to my basement?"
Peter: "Yeah, I read a book about that one time." Brian: : "Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?" Peter: "Oh yeah"
At the Child Protective Service Chris: So this is where babies come from? Brian: Yes. Chris [to Lois]: You said I came out of your vagina!
