Good advice from Cohen. You need to discuss your concerns with the mother of your child also (rationally), you and her are the child's parents. She must understand that her husband should not be undermining your biological child's relationship with you and vice versa.
First of all this guy sounds like an idiot. I'd sit you son down and let him know whats going on. Be truthfull with him, let him know what "Dad" is doing and why he is doing it. I think you'll find your son will understand and when "Dad" decided to chuck one of his new rules up....your son will start to think "What is this dope going on about....Mum told me its ok and she sets the rules!". You'll probably also find that your son will start to prefer to be with you then "Dad" because you dont have stupid hangups. Hope it all works out for you and your son....Im sure it will.
I suggest you paint all the squares black, then beat the stepdad's ass with the board. Before you walk away, make sure to say, "Checkmate, b****" and kick him in the neck. If he tries to correct you on the improper use of the term "checkmate" in regards to checkers, kick him in the neck at least 3 more times.
I know you guys may be expecting an irrational suggestion from me but, I just joke around most of the time. I suggest you write him a lettter Email if at all possible and try to be nice to him. Just tell him you understand he is going to be in your childs life for a good while and you just want to talk to him about your child. Kinda like you would have to do a parent teacher confrence. Your kid is going to around this certain adult for long periods of time and this person is definately trying to have an influence on the tikes life. You just want to be on the same page with him and your ex to make sure the kid is getting the best possible life you all can offer him. You don't want your kid being around adults who are supposed to love him make him feel like they are lying to him. Kids always know whats going on. You can't hide nothing from them. He needs to be able to trust the most important people in his life. If he hears a bunch of contradictory statements coming from both sides it will confuse him and possibly cause him to have trust issues with others. Just my 2 cents. I hope things work out for all of you.
Man, that is some awesome parenting, your son will just grow to hate this guy and learn to ignore him... its natural.
Worst response ever. If you're going to stick with something, do it well! Pimpin' ain't dead, remember! I expect more out of characatures, damnit.
o.k. I'm back. Its because I was trashed when I posted that last night. Tell that punk he doesn't know who he is dealing with and if he wants to continue breathing he needs to chill the ***K out!
FT, I think you're doing an awesome job with your son. I absolutely love it when parents stick around and play with their kids at school, even if it's just for 5 or 10 minutes. It just speaks wonders to me and to everyone else who notices things like that. With that said, your kid seems very bright and quite astute. He probably recognizes exactly what the dillhole is doing about your rules. He obviously loves you to no end, because not only does he talk about yalls experiences in front of the dillhole, but he may, on some level, resent you always being wrong to this guy. And he definitely was courageous enough to bring it up with you and let you know that he's probably not OK with it either. I don't know if I'm completely wrong about this, but now would probably be a good time to sit down with the ex and her dillhole and agree on some ground rules concerning your son, that way he's not spending the rest of his childhood having to go back and forth and remembering 2 sets of rules. For example: if your son wants to play checkers, it's up to him which color the pieces go on until he's concerned with the correct way to play, and then it can be looked up for him to read and know for himself.
Does anyone know what criteria determines which parent gets custodyof a child if they divorce? I would hate for some other guy to raise my son, to hell with my ex. he can have the bytch, but i am not giving up my kid.
Falcons Talon you play checkers with your son every morning?? That is great. I think you should just ignore the guy, if it happens once i a while, but by your post i think that it happens more then once. So i think you should talk to him about it. The most importent thing is your son, it is good that he also cares for your son. But he should not undermine you. so just talk to him that you would apreciate it that if they do not agree with things you do, they talk to you and not to the kid. so that the child wil not be confused. so basically i thin you should do like most people here already mentioned. Try to keep it civil. it is in the best interrest of your son. Good luck
Hehe, good luck in dream-world. You don't have a choice, unfortunately. If the ex wants to get a new husband, your son has a step-dad, period. In this day and age, unless your ex is completely uncapable, you will be on the outside looking in. The only good news, from what I've heard, is that if your ex tries to keep you away, your child will figure it out, sooner or later.
Exactly...great show btw...You need to tell him in a discreet way, but make sure your point is made...What an a-hole...he already has a father, you know, the real one...
This was especially funny because midway through that post I was thinking to myself, "What a dunce... there's no checkmate in checkers.."
I think you are already doing what is best for your son. Showing up every morning to play checkers -- when your son is 80 he'll remember that you did that. He won't remember that some bozo told him to put the checkers on red not black. When I think back about my Father (who unfotunately isn't here anymore) the things I remember are tossing the ball in the backyard or helping in the woodshop. What seems like little things are huge to kids.
Unless she's a heroin addict or in a coma, the woman gets the children. And then she can make your children call whatever stranger she likes daddy. It sucks but that's the reality most of the time.
