You should have remembered there was a reason she was your ex and left it there in the past where it belonged.
Best way I can say it is this: When we got back together as friends we were hanging out 2-3 times a week. I knew she was dating others and that was fine. But when she started talking about my friends I drew a line and said it was disrespectful. She did it anyway and our friendship was pretty much over. She sent me a nice email apologizing. And I said I can forgive, but it is about her respecting that I thought it was not cool to flirt with my friends. And years later I find out she's still doing it. It's on purpose. FFS, she lived in San Diego for several years, comes back and finds one of the few friends we not only hung out with, but a former rommate of mine.
Ok, fair. Millions of folks in the world. If she starts dating a friend of mine, that friendship is severely hit. IMO, there's no reason to do that.
Have had it happen and didn’t bother me. Have had ex’s of my wife even talk about when they dated her and I didn’t care. By caring you are giving her power. She is an ex and it didn’t work out. If she ***** your friends, who cares… unless you have feelings for her.
But, you didn't have a problem with your buddy being with her (or did i misunderstand your post?). But you do have a problem with her being with your buddy.
Ok, when we started hanging out as friends for a couple years, we'd go do dinners & hang out like we used to. We weren't hooking up, but she was fine with foot massages, etc. She later on let me know she was dating a guy in Austin. I was ok with that. Again, we weren't doing anything major, but I was surprised she wasn't letting me know about that. I was honestly fine with her seeing anyone but my friends. But she literally got in touch with 3 of them. That's not cool. As far as my friend? We'd have an issue if it went anywhere, but only in our closeness.
She broke up with me, which was several years ago. It was when we became friends again and she pulled this crap that pissed me off. It's a respect thing. Plenty of guys out there. Quit pissing around my tree.
As far as I know, they just talked. When he mentioned me, she pretended she didn't know who I was. Which is probably my biggest irritant. When I talked to the guy several years ago, she acted like we only went on a couple dates. We were together off and on for 3 years. And, yes. That sounds HS as F***, but she pissed me off with this; especially because she'd always pretend it didn't happen.
So, if I understand correctly, you are upset with someone you went out with decades ago, because she contacted your friend several years ago and acted like she didn't know you? And of the friends of yours she has contacted, she has only spoken with them as far as you know? No dating, no sex?
Ugh. We dated for 3 years off and on between 2008-2010. Not going to get into the details but we both had feelings. You don't hang out with someone for 3 years otherwise. We broke up & barely talked. She'd invested with me and would occassionally ask about that. But that was roughly it. In 2015 she & I started talking again. Obviously I still found her attractive, but the idea of us just being friends was ok with me. We reconnected on FB, etc. What irked me was when she started asking about my friends. To me that's disrespectful as hell. If I ask you not to do that, and you still do it, then it's a F*** you scenario. And I actually side more with the guy. But, yeah, if my friend started dating her, our friendship would be done. And again, it's weird because he brought it up. I'd never known otherwise. He's worth 10M and wants me to move with him to California, so you can obviously see the awkwardness if he followed through... Lol.
I understand that you see it as a respect issue, I just don't see it that way personally. I suppose one could say you set boundaries and she crossed them so you don't need to be friendly with her anymore. What I have learned in relationships that we all have boundaries that seem very arbitrary to other people.
