Ex-Astro Derek Bell threatens "Operation Shutdown"

This is just too funny to not pass on:

Bell angry at notion of competing for right-field spot



BRADENTON, Fla. -- Derek Bell, who hit only .173 last season, said he'll go into "Operation Shutdown" and won't risk injuring himself if the Pittsburgh Pirates do not give him the starting job in right field.


Manager Lloyd McClendon and general manager Dave Littlefield said Bell, Armando Rios and Craig Wilson are competing and the starter hasn't been decided. But Littlefield said Bell has done little to win the job.


"Nobody told me I was in competition," Bell told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. "If there is competition, somebody better let me know. If there is competition, they better eliminate me out of the race and go ahead and do what they're going to do with me. I ain't never hit in spring training and I never will.


"If it ain't settled with me out there, then they can trade me. I ain't going out there to hurt myself in spring training battling for a job. If it is (a competition), then I'm going into 'Operation Shutdown.' Tell them exactly what I said. I haven't competed for a job since 1991."


Littlefield told the Post-Gazette that Bell is "certainly" competing for a job.


"At this point, he hasn't done a lot to show he deserves a lot of playing time. He just hasn't performed," Littlefield said. "Last year, he was injured. He looks healthy. We just have to see more production."


Bell was one of the majors' worst-performing players last season, hitting five homers with 13 RBIs in 46 games in the first year of a $9 million, two-year contract. He missed most of the second half of the season with a strained knee and a hamstring injury.


This spring, Bell is 4-for-27 (.148) with three RBIs.


Bell's big contract, which he landed despite hitting below .200 in the second half of the 2000 season with the Mets, is believed to have contributed to former Pirates general manager Cam Bonifay's firing in June.



Lucky for Bell he has an albtross of a contract, or he'd be unemployed about now.

 

And the obligitory commentator column making fun of him:

Bell puts Pirates on alert for 'Operation Shutdown'


By Mark Kreidler
Special to ESPN.com


You have to hand it to Pittsburgh outfielder Derek Bell, and ... oh, wait. You don't have to hand it to Bell. That's how we got into this mess in the first place.


Derek Bell doesn't believe he should have to compete for a starting job with the Pirates.
By "you," of course, I refer to the Pirates' brass, which, upon further review, is not legally required to anoint Bell as its starting right fielder for the team's season opener roughly two weeks hence.

By "mess," I refer to Bell's definitive declaration that he does not consider himself to be in open competition for the starting role despite batting .173 during an injury-filled 2001 season, and that if, in fact, there is such a challenge to his primacy, "then I'm going into Operation Shutdown."

By "Operation Shutdown," Bell seems to intend to mean something seriously idiotic, but we knew that already.

And by "we," I refer not only to myself but to my good friends Joe and Janine Lunchbucket, the long-suffering fans (are there any other kinds?) who only this morning read Bell's comments, lightly slapped their foreheads in relief and said, "Thank goodness! We were beginning to forget why we hate baseball's guts."

Always happy to serve, folks.

Let's take this one ball-peen hammer at a time. In a weekend interview in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Bell sounded positively shocked to learn he was in either a three- or four-way battle for the starting job in right, saying he assumed the position was his and that no one had told him otherwise.

"If it ain't settled with me out there, then they can trade me," Bell said. "I ain't going out there to hurt myself in spring training battling for a job. If it is (open competition), then I'm going into Operation Shutdown."

Bell didn't specify what Operation Shutdown entails, although you'd hope to see some fancy military-style maneuvers to go with a name like that. Something to do with the relative height of his uniform pants legs, perhaps.

The Pirates, specifically general manager Dave Littlefield, replied that Bell most certainly is in a competition with Armando Rios, Craig Wilson and perhaps Rob Mackowiak. Further, Littlefield said, "At this point, he (Bell) hasn't done a lot to show he deserves a lot of playing time."

And within the Pittsburgh sports community, the battle lines are being drawn. Do fans go with the heartfelt comments of a player who hasn't hit above .200 since the first half of the 2000 season, or with the authoritative position of a team coming off a 100-loss year?

Clearly, what we have here is failure to communicate. Bell, for example, is unfortunately laboring under the misconception that he plays in some city other than Pittsburgh, for a group of fans who would read a comment like, "Tell them exactly what I said: I haven't competed for a job since 1991," and reply, "Wow, it sure sounds like he means it!"

Hard to figure the Pirates' faithful for that group, exactly. And last January, in an interview apparently conducted when he was quite certain he was the starting right fielder, Bell had said he was going to keep his head down and his mouth shut and play hard this season, in order to prove something to himself and to the Pittsburgh fans.

Dunno about the head-down or mouth-shut parts, but in terms of proving something, I'd have to say, done and done.

Bell makes $4.5 million this season, which is important for a couple of reasons. First, it makes him utterly untradeable (and if it doesn't, his .148 performance this spring certainly does). Second, it makes his release by the cash-strapped Pirates a lousy option, no matter how much visceral relief it might provide.

And so Pittsburgh is left with this: An unhappy camper who thinks he's Roger Clemens, operating under the presumption that it's permissible to stink up whole sections of Florida during spring training so long as he's guaranteed a favorable result in the end.

All of which brings to mind the case of the great Garry Templeton, the former shortstop who once explained that he didn't want to travel to the All-Star Game unless he was voted into a starting job, famously saying, "If I ain't startin', I ain't departin'."

As we all now know, God eventually got even with Templeton, making him a minor-league manager. Any chance the Pirates have an opening in their system for a $4.5 million pain in the tuchus?

 

Rob Neyer chimes in:


Operation Shutdown: What to do with Bell?

By Rob Neyer
ESPN.com


I think you and I owe Derek Bell, and we owe him big. No, not $4.5 million big; fortunately for us, the Pittsburgh Pirates are on the hook for that tidy little sum. But we do owe Derek Bell something, because it's men like him who help make baseball the wonderful pursuit it is.

Derek Bell is "colorful." He is -- sorry about this, but let's be honest -- one of the ugliest men in the major leagues. He used to wear pants so baggy he looked like a clown. And now he's announced "Operation Shutdown," a brilliant plan that will supposedly be implemented if Pirates management comes to the conclusion that they're better off with Craig Wilson and/or Armando Rios in right field.

"Operation Shutdown" is now a part of the vernacular, like Garry Templeton's wonderful "If I ain't startin', I ain't departin'." All of which is to say, someday we're all going to remember Derek Bell with great fondness. Without him and players like him, being a baseball fan wouldn't be nearly as much fun.

In the here and now, however, Derek Bell's existence raises a practical question, at least for the Pirates and their fans ...

What's better? Derek Bell sitting on his keister in the dugout, or Derek Bell sitting on his keister at home, waiting for the phone to ring? What makes this question more difficult for the Pirates to answer is that aforementioned tidy little sum: $4.5 million, otherwise known as "Bonifay's Folly." Or is that what we're calling the Pat Meares contract? I always forget ...

Paying Bell isn't throwing good money after bad, because the Pirates will probably have to throw $4.5 million in Derek Bell's direction no matter what they do. What they might be doing instead, if they keep Bell around all season, is throwing away a roster spot. Last year, Bell was a complete waste of space for the three-and-a-half months that he wasn't on the disabled list. This year, he's essentially the No. 3 option in right field, with Craig Wilson the No. 1 option, and Armando Rios, if he's healthy, the No. 2 option. And a discontented No. 3 option at that.

So why don't the Pirates simply release Bell? Because at this moment, there's very little reason for them to. At this moment, he's not wasting a roster spot. At this moment, there's still a chance the Pirates could dispose of his contract.

How? Well, I'm just speculating here, but for a moment let's imagine that somebody came to Pirates GM Dave Littlefield and knocked his socks off with an offer for Brian Giles. Say, a couple of young hitters and a 21-year-old pitcher with mid-90s cheese. "Fine," Littlefield says, "but ... oh, but I also need you to take Operation Shutdown off my hands." And if Littlefield is lucky -- OK, if he's really, really lucky, Powerball lucky -- his trading partner will agree.

Hey, it happened a couple of years ago. Dan Duquette wanted Rolando Arrojo for the Red Sox, but Dan O'Dowd supposedly would do the deal only if Duquette would also assume ownership of Mike Lansing ... and his $6.25 million contract for the following season. And Duquette, in one of his less thoughtful moments, agreed.

Granted, it's unlikely that Littlefield will find any takers for Bell and his silly contract, but today's the first day of spring and hope is in the air. But it's also unlikely that Dave Littlefield will simply release Derek Bell, at least not until the hope-filled spring turns into the sweat-soaked summer. Or until Bell says something else that seems specifically designed to get him released. In which case he'll get released.