I've been pondering an ethical question regarding wanting to end your life. Let me be absolutely clear I'm not talking about wanting to kill myself. Here is the situation. A friend of my family's mother is very old and recently had an accident that has robbed her of much of her mobility. Further she's been mentally going downhill for years. She has told her family and her doctors she's tired of living and wants to die. She has even been refusing to eat and drink. The doctors believe she is still physically capable of living for many years, although with a severely diminished mobility along with increasing dementia. Also when she was still fully in charge of her mental faculties she had expressed that she didn't want to live being severely handicapped or demented and she wrote so in her living will and wears a "Do Not Resucitate" bracelet to let everyone know that if she has a heart attack or stroke to let her go. This situation is causing a lot of anguish to her family who love their mother and don't want to see her go. What I'm wondering about is not so much the legal questions of the right to die but an ethical question of whether it is right to go ahead and let yourself or bring about your own death to end your suffering even though that causes a lot of anguish to your loved ones. I don't know if she is so far mentally gone whether she can consciously ponder this but I'm more wondering if I was in that situation and had enough of my mind left to realize it was causing that much emotional pain if I wouldn't decide to hang on to life a little bit longer even if it meant more physical pain for me.
There is so much talk, so many cliches, about suicide being a selfish act. The larger selfishness is that of the people who would prefer their suffering friend or family member to stick around, suffering all along, for their own gratification. I don't care if the pain is physical or emotional; if someone feels so horrible that they'd prefer death over life, their pain is gigantic. Asking a person that is in that kind of pain to stick around is not loving, it is selfish. Everything you posted about your friend indicates she would prefer death to further suffering. I hope she gets her wish soon. I hope even more that the laws change, sooner rather than later, to allow for easy, comfortable, diginified suicide when the person involved desires it. Denying the right to die, and die with dignity, when someone is at the end of his or her life and has nothing to look forward to but immeasurable suffering is draconian and cruel.
Forgive me for not being clearer but I'm not saying we should remove the legal right to die, or not establish it depending on which state, but acting on it as a personal choice. Whether it is ethically to personally choose to end your life at the expense of causing greater anguish to others even though you ahve that right. I understand everything you say and don't necessarily disagree with it but I've been pondering for myself if I was in that situation.
The uncertainty of what is after death makes life seem more valuable to me, every second on the earth alive should be treasured, yet if she is to the point where she has no perception of all what I said, which she probably is just miserable, then I dunno. When it gets that bad I can't comprehend cause I've never been there, and hope I don't have to when I get that age.
My grandfather loved fishing in Alaska. When he knew he was getting close, he wanted to drive his ratty old pickup to Alaska, start walking into the wild, and never come back. My grandmother of course went nuts, as did my Mom and her siblings, and he gave in. I was about 14 at the time, but I remember thinking it would be really cool if he did that. He became immobilized after a few months and died about a year later in a hospital. I think he made peace with his decision, because he did have about another year with us all, but I also know at some level he regretted not heading north,
That would be seem poetic and all, but dying from hypothermia or starvation probably wouldn't be too great of an ending, sounds good that he stayed around
I think it's a damn waste when functional people choose to end their lives. Yeah, it's selfish of me wanting them to stay. There's some sanctimoniousness in there for me thinking that I'd know how to run their lives. But I believe that circumstances can change, and as long as there's change there's always a chance that the situation can get better. Maybe I don't understand the pure suffering a suicidal person goes through, but I think society as a whole hasn't taken the time to understand what they go through. I'm always thinking of options. Does a suicidal person think that there's only one good option left?
There has to be a clear demarcation upon when it is appropriate to commit suicide and when it is not. For example, say someone is depressed because they are disfigured from a car accident and now they want to kill themselves? Who is supposed to make the moral judgement on whether it is ethically acceptable for that person to commit suicide? Circumstances change and the same person that wanted to kill themselves a year ago now wants to live...
I usually hear suicide being considered selfish when it is someone that is fit to live a normal life, but suffering from depression that is choosing to end it all. That kind of person can likely receive help that would improve their quality of life enormously, but the instead choose to kill themselves, in turn causing a great deal of suffering among others. In that situation, asking the person to keep living but get help does not seem like you are forcing them to suffer for your own gratification.
suicide is wrong to me. . . TO ME . . because it is the ultimate I am Giving Up It is crushing in that it means ALL HOPE is gone and that is truly sad If you 17 yrs old and ole girl breaks up with you . . . and you kill youself that is Far more unethical and wrong than someone that is paralized completely at the age of 92 and wanting to Die If you are Healthy and commiting Suicide . . . It is unethical . . or more os to me. If someone infirmed commits suicide I may not condone it . . but I understand [many reason to do it.] Rocket River I don't think I ever could myself. . . . but maybe i'm an optimist
Suicide should be a viable personal choice regardless of your morality. However, every possible step should be taken to validate that these are the actual wishes of the individual and not those with vested interests, or even worse, the government.
Except what if their quality of life is irrevocably damaged and they know it is only going to get worse such as in the case of progressing Alzheimers or Lou Gehrigs disease? The fear that someone might have then is that they will be so far gone they can't make the decision to end their suffering.
That would be a completely different circumstance than the one I described, and is not generally what is discussed as being selfish, at least in my experience.
But that isn't the only way for it to work. If assisted suicide were legal, they could have gone out into the woods as a family and allowed him to pass in a manner that he chose.
Well I think it can be a selfish act if the person has young children or something like that, but otherwise I agree with you. I think we should be allowed to decide what our standard of living is for something such as illness or old age. It is absurd for people then to step in and claim that they know this or that about you and life and can make a better decision or "help you" by keeping you alive. If the woman made it clear when her mind was strong that she did not want to live in a certain state and then reaffirmed it (and tried to force the issue) when she saw herself going that way then I believe her request should be granted and nobody should feel sad for her decision. Sad that she was brought to that decision, but not sad for the decision. Mental illness/dementia scares me because I can only imagine the horror in the early stages of feeling yourself go. I can understand the desire to go on one's own terms and with whatever dignity one can muster.
You described depression that could be cured by treatment. There are many causes of depression and someone with a debilitating, and likely incurable, illness may be suffering from depression. The depression though may be treated if not the illness itself. That given though the person may recognize that even though they could end up not depressed they are still going to be physically and mentally declining and any cure for their depression will be artificial.
Just speaking to your thoughts, I think if you saw how your own death would make a negative impact on others close to you; most likely you would be willing to live longer if possible and suffer so they would benefit. Once my children are grown and gone, I would be pleased to go to heaven. But if it is better that I should live longer I would be pleased to do so.
It's your life, your reality, you ought to do whatever the hell you want to with it. Just don't leave a damn mess for someone else to have to clean up.
