in the bathtub. yeh...i was young (maybe 8 or 9). simply didn't want to get out, cuz it would make a mess (water all over the floor).
I was waiting with some buddies for a friend to open up a local gym. He was running late and I had to GO. REALLY BAD. It was late, and no restrooms were open. So I did what I had to do: I clenched up, waddled behind a giant bush, and fertilized the leaves. Explosively. It was hilarious.
At 2nd or 3rd grade school in the early morning...This happened to a classmate, from my recollection...The funny thing is, apparently he wouldn't say anything and from what I knew the fermentation process by noon was getting worse and worse...I recall at lunchtime after numerous complaints, and suspicions by both students and teachers, they pulled him to the nurse's office from where he was eating...I don't remember ever seeing him again...
Okay...well, one more - this is a story of a guy i went to H.S. with. His name was Tim - but most of the seniors knew him as the "mad crapper." this guy would crap in the hallways - stair wells, classroom corners during lunch, computer lab, it didn't really matter where he was, if there weren't people around and he had to go - he would. he carried TP with him pretty much all the time. He got kicked out almost near the end of the year when a visiting HS basketball team came to play our school. During the last half of the game, he went into their locker room and crapped in their star players shoes and pissed all over the teams backpacks and stuff. He wouldn't of been caught if their assistant coach wasn't in a stall taking a dump and finished up with that before Tim got out. He told me he was pissin all over when he heard the toilet flush, then the guy came over and started screamin at him. Tim was a strange guy.
oh crap (no pun intended)...i forgot my actual worst spot. but no worries, i now remember it. i was about 10 or 11 and my friend invited me to his church. his family picked me up and everything. anyways, just before church started - some of the kids my age were lettin farts go - well, i wasn't to be outdone just because i didn't know any of them - i called for attention and let a fart loose - well, it was a wet one - a REALLY wet one. I then turned and went to the washroom - there was nothing i could do - my boxers were sprayed, and it got the inside of my pants too. I didn't know what to do, so i took off my boxers and pretended nothing happened. My friends mom told my mom that i smelt like ****. Nobody from that church sat within 4 seats of me other than my friend who invited me - poor guy.
Not a worst spot story, but funny none the less. My father law who has some pretty major intestinal issues went to dinner with my sister-in-law and her husband by their house. After dinner he got in his car and about a block from the resturant he realized that he had to go. He called his daughter and he asked if could come over and use their facilities. She said sure and that she would be home in a minute to let him. Well she gets a flat. Needless to say he was just standing there waiting in the rain for his daughter to come home and let him in. He lost the race. **** his pants right there in his own daughters driveway. The really funny part is that even after powerwashing and scrubbing with bleach and anything else she could think of, the driveway is still stained. That was three years ago.
Definately the squat toilets are horrible, Any asian country I go to, i have to suffer the wrath of those toiltes. O yea, trains make it even worse, but i dont go unless i'm at home either,coz i just feel nasty as hell. Or at a hotel. But the worse had to be while camping, everyone was sleeping so i wasnt going to try and use the portapotty, so i wandered off in the woods and found a legit spot. Well halfway through my ****, i started hearing growling noises, definately just scared the crap right out of me. I ran, no wipe, nothing, fell asleep like that, and then just burned the clothes in the morning. Never went camping again...
You peeps that don't poop outside of home are weird. When I have to crap, I crap wherever. Usually I don't even wipe down the toilet seat beforehand.
A Porta Potty on Galveston Island...during Mardi Gras... The solid waste matter was dangerously high already...and the thought of me adding more was a recipe for disaster... so like any other red-blooded american male...I crapped in the floor...and gave a big smile to the person lined up after me
Haha, I haven't read this thread at all but I can't deal with this. I hoped it was a relationship thread. Not a Pepto Bismol commercial. Those are awful!
Those are nasty (and were even before you messed up the floor ). I was in line to use one (also Galveston, Mardi Gras) - thank goodness, it was only for #1 - but I still wasn't very happy about the lack of alternatives. (I don't have the male equipment which puts you at an advantage in that situation.) It got worse when, two places ahead of me in line, there was this couple hanging all over each other... and they went in the Porta Potty together. At least whatever they did only took a few minutes... As for the original question, I can't recall ever dumping in a strange place. When I was little I did that bathtub thing a few times (in bathtub, got lazy... doesn't make sense now, but I guess it did then). Once, when I was about 4, I started feeling like I had to go, but I didn't feel like I had much energy to get up. I tried to sit in a position that would make me feel better, but just made a mess on my floor instead. I think most kids do something like this at some point, though.
How many of you, like me, have a questionable bowel, know the BEST places to take a dump? I mean, you know where to go when the urge strikes when driving around Houston. Hotels are a good place. When at the Galleria I'll usually use the Westin if needed. I hate going to fast food and gas station rest rooms unless there is no choice. Do you hate to let loose if someone is in the rest room at the same time? I do, but will if necessary.
Ahhhhh, I see the offseason is setting in early this year! I'd have to go with the time I was dropping the kids off at the pool, doing about 500-600mph over 30,000 feet above the earth. That dump could have easily killed someone if the blue waters of Continental Airlines didn't swoop in to save one lucky soul in the state of Tennesse.
When I was first dating ex-RM95's Girl and I was driving up to Waco to see her, there was a period of time that I didn't feel all that comfortable farting and ****ting in the same house. Since I stayed there for weekends at a time, I always had to go to the Barnes and Noble there. Nice bathrooms.
I was warming up before a soccer game when I was 11. I was in my uniform and all (back when we wore the short shorts), out on the field, when I looked down and saw mud on my leg. There was no mud around I wondered where it came from. I then realized it wasn't mud. I started crying at that moment. My dad had to drive me home with me sitting on the floorboard of the car, and I missed the game. After that I wanted to quit the team and never see the those guys again. My parents forced me go to the next practice. Only one guy save me sh*t about it (pun intended). He still gave me hell about it one time in high school. His name is Eric Pandina and he is a moron. I still don't know where that poo came from.
At work, there are a bunch of small bathrooms and one big bathroom. It's funny because the unwritten rule is that if you have to piss, you go to the small bathrooms but if you have to drop anchor, you go to the big one. It's all about privacy.
I'm with Lil' Pun. I only relieve myself in the comforts of my own home. Over the past few years, my body has trained itself to take one massive power dump once a day, first thing in the morning. That's it for the whole day. Probably explains why I'm in the bathroom for a good 45 minutes every morning. I know, I know... TMI, right? I've probably doubled or tripled the # of ignore lists I currently reside on courtesy of this post.
Over the past few years, I have also developed shyness at the urinal. I know I have to pee. It's in there aching to come out. But I can't let loose unless both urinals on both sides of me are empty. The worst is when I'm in mid-piss stream and someone walks up to a urinal next to me... Suddenly, I stop and I'm just standing their with my wang in my hand, waiting for this jerk-off to leave. Its pretty damn uncomfortable and I'm sure it means I'm ****ed in the head some how...
It can't be much fun to all be standing next to each other taking a leak. At least we get privacy for that. I hate taking a dump in a public bathroom if someone else is around, though. I won't do it. I'll wait for them to leave or go in another restroom. In one of my former places of employment, where all the bathrooms were small, there was an unwritten rule that, if someone seemed to be "parked" in there, you left them alone and either took a quick leak and left or went to another bathroom. Unfortunately, that rule hasn't been in place everywhere. The worst is taking a messy one at work and, no matter how many times you flush... well, you get the idea. And being the main person who uses that bathroom in the first place. You're afraid the cleaning lady is going to know exactly who is responsible.
