. . . and your personal experience would be . . . . I am open to be educated further Rocket River you cannot pay for your drugs. . you work it off. . .
She knows she shouldn't use, but she thinks she "has a handle on it". Meanwhile, her boss (she's not a public school teacher - she does private, one-on-one lessons) recently told her she needs to improve her work performance, or they'll need to take action. They graciously offered her a brief (two month) sabbatical. I've tried to tell her this is her biggest, best chance to change things for the better. She says she knows, but so far, it's been the same... She's an only child, and (as I alluded to earlier), her relationship with her parents is strained, at best. Truth is, she doesn't have that many genuine friends. I don't even know who I could ask to intervene on her behalf, other than myself. I hear some folks saying, in effect, I need to cut and run. And if it comes down to risking my safety or the safety of my family, I will grudgingly do that. But we've been friends for almost 20 years. Right now, I might be the only real friend she has left. Hard to leave a person like that and feel good about yourself.
I've been through a situation where a friend developed a coke addiction. We're all a huge group of friends. He knows I wouldn't like that he was doing that, so he kept it from me more than the others. But I knew, and there were times when I didn't understand why he was being over-reactive ass, that made sense later once he admitted he'd been on cocaine. Some of us told him directly that we didn't like what he was becoming, and that he needed to do whatever was necessary to cut that crap out. Other friends in our group would use occasionally with him, and we told them they needed to not do that, and they agreed. They also told him he was out of control, and not in a good place. Luckily he listened. Talking to him eventually made a difference but only because it happened from different sources again and again, and we also talked/made plain to others that they wouldn't be allowed to use around the addict. In addition he'd get horribly depressed after binders, and hated that. So all of that together helped push him towards getting clean. Luckily it worked. He also told one of us that if he was ever going to use again, to just punch him. He nearly had a relapse but one of our friends punched him hard in the chest. My friend turned around, and the guy that hit him said if you turn to go do that, the next one will be in your face. My friend realized that it came from a place of genuine love and concern. One person talking to him wouldn't have done anything, and none of it would have helped if he wasn't ready to get better himself. It sounds like you've talked to her, and if she doesn't have any other friends that you can also talk to, it will be hard. Try and tell her differences between how she used to be and the negative ways she's changed. Point out that she can lose her job, and livelihood. Let her know what she has to lose if she doesn't quit, and that her life will not be worse off by not using.
Be careful, if you get too close, she might start "borrowing" your stuff and next thing you know, you're knee deep in her problems. Not saying give up on her, but sometimes it's better to not get involved.
i'm a recreational drug user that, at times, has gone too far and struggled with addiction(i'm not talking about weed). i've had good friends that have gone over the edge and never came back. not that it matters, i wasn't the one offering an ill-informed opinion. saying that if she loses her job she's probably going into prostitution(like that's her only option) is probably the funniest thing i'll read on bbs this week. your whole stament sounded like something someone would say that has never been in or around the world of narcotics. being immersed in drug addiction is a complex situation and isn't as cut and dry as some people make it out to be. don't get me wrong, i don't have anything against you. i just don't think you should jump to such a dramatic conclusion based on what you've heard or seen on television.
I never been a user but had some 'friends' when I was younger who were dealers I have seen women go that way Not a street walker but . . . did what they had to do to get some . . . But it has been some years *meh* Rocket River
Unfortunately, this is the only way out. Thing is most addict don't admit/realize they have a problem or nowhere to escape from that vicious cycle. Rehab won't do any good once discharged and she back to same stuff. Sometimes you just have to accept limitation and realize there not much you can do except hoping one day she wake up
All you can do is be there for her. As long as that's even possible. I've had friends die from drinking and from drugs and I've had a few get better. Most lose all their friends along the way. What the others are saying is true: she has to want it.
This. I've lost two friends & a cousin to pills and opiates. They gotta hit rock bottom, it seemed 3 times, before they figured they'd do anything about it-and even then, it's a constant struggle with relapse. I was there as long as I could be before I just got drained. Didn't turn my back but had to move on with my life. Hopefully things don't get too much worse before they get better for your friend but my experience has shown me once they start down the path, very unlikely to get them back.
