Lol I was surprised nobody did either. Just doing my civic duty. But on the reals lol Go with your gut, if you think its just harmless conversations she's having then let it go....if not just sit her down and talk to her about it and whatever happens happens.
I think the main issue here is that if you have to ask for the advice of a bunch of random internet strangers (on a basketball forum) regarding morality or ethics, you've already lost. That said, she obviously doesn't love you as much as you love her, and she wishes she was still banging her ex. I know it sucks that y'all just moved in together, but life sucks, get used to it. Break up with her before she cheats on you and breaks your fragile little heart. Even if this dude lives in Illinois, you clearly aren't doing it for her, and she'll find someone closer. And stop snooping. Women do that ****, men shouldn't.
Have 7-8 whiskies, think about her being plowed by some other guy, then decide how you are going to handle this.
I feel like I HAVE to say something. If I try and let it go I know without addressing it I would never trust her. I already feel like a fool. We are typically pretty transparent about everything. We both have access to each others phones but we have never discussed Facebook.
Wow dude, why are you being a dick? I like the CF community and I wanted anonymous advice. By posting this here it makes me see the situation from an outside perspective.
Why is this the first reaction by advice-givers on CF? If you can't _____, then just end it. As if it's that easy to walk away from someone you care deeply about. I'm not attacking you personally, but I've seen this so many times, and it's ridiculous to see. Adult relationships have ups and downs, and a lot of times, problems are not black and white. There's a lot of gray, and you have to keep in mind that you CARE about this person. In fact, he said he could always trust her, so if anything, the correct advice here would be to talk to her about THAT. If she's indeed worthy of his trust, then the situation will remedy itself, and they can move on being happy together. Breaking up is almost never the correct answer unless there actually IS infidelity or irreconcilable differences.
if you're insecure enough to snoop, then you're going to keep going until you find something you don't like
I was completely fine until Sunday. I never felt the need to look through her phone or ask her where she was going. We do have a pretty open policy when it comes to checking each others phones.
has she displayed any other kind of suspicious activity? Besides this little FB snafu, she is totally 100% legit no red flags?
yes they are starting to creep into real life. they are in your homes too. they can blow out your back from where they stay.
Seems like you really need an outside perspective, because from where I'm sitting, you're acting like a punk. "I'm insecure in my relationship because I'm insecure in general, to the point that I look at my girlfriend's Facebook when she's not around, but only because I love her so much. I found out she was talking to her ex, probably because I'm the type of weak-ass boyfriend who needs to snoop around to validate himself, but I came up short." You wanted anonymous advice? I already gave it to you, and you focused on the wrong part of it and avoided the actual issue, which is the fact that your seven month old relationship is more satisfying to you than it is to her. You're obviously twisted on this chick, and she's going to play you because she knows it. If you don't like reality, I'm sorry. But giving you honest (anonymous) advice doesn't make me a dick.
No not at all. Sunday was when I saw the message she sent to her old friend. Her re-friending her ex and sending him a hello message happened a few months ago.
im abt ur age...def have snooped...and my gf has snooped on me as well...i think we both had reason to... and most of the as much as it sucks....if there's smoke, there's fire.
Adding adjectives like "fragile little heart" in a sarcastic or condescending manner does. If you didn't intend it that way, explain it to him.
I may have missed it...I don't know. I thought I read every message, but I'm curious as to what the "Suspicious facebook activity" was. I mean...was it talking about meeting up...was it just inside jokes... That being said. As others have mentioned Trust is everything. When I get into a relationship, I put 100 % of my trust into that woman. If you put 50% of your trust in there, that's how much of a relationship you'll have. A half *** one. If you get cheated on..don't blame the next girl for your ex's problems. That's my response on your original question of "Do you snoop?"
Yea, since she kinda snooped on you and she told you that she did, then its only right that you let her now. You also mentioned that both of yall are transparent so you should feel even less guilty for snooping. not entirely true. some people are just snakes and you have to be selfish and look out for yourself. i will say that if you have to resort to snooping, chances are high that she isn't the one. but sometimes, you can be wrong about your suspicions. i feel like if you really find that one, you won't feel the need to snoop.
