She sent another friend request to an ex after defriending him and denied it when I casually brought it up. The friend that she sent that message to that I saw had an agreement (is this some inside joke) with her that they would get married if she wasn't engaged when she was 25. They also flirted long before we were dating. This is totally fine with me because it was before we were dating but I asked if there was any attraction on either side and she denied it. I wasn't being demanding when I asked, I was curious. I have never thought of myself as a chump but I feel like a chump as I am typing this.
Bäumer, if we open up your FaceBook for the world to see, will everything be in order and nothing "suspicious" on your account?
I guess I should also add that she has been through my phone a couple of times early in our relationship and was upfront about it. I have nothing to hide so I have no problems with this. She says several times before that she doesn't mind if I go through her phone.
I don't snoop. Wouldn't want to be snooped on. If my SO got into my phone I'd probably wake up with no dick.
Yes. I don't talk to other girls that she doesn't know about and have been 100% faithful. Pretty much everything on my Facebook is stuff she posted. I don't get on there much. I believe in transparency and have even given her my login info.
1- the friending an ex is a little weird, but depends on how serious they were. I am still FB friends with an ex and know my GF is as well. If it was a serious long-term relationship that ended within the last year or so that shoots up some red flags. 2- the fact that you felt compelled to snoop says a lot about the relationship. Probably best to talk it out and it will end up for the best...either it will end because you both aren't fully committed and don't trust each other or you'll overcome it and be better off.
If she unfriended him to placate you and then tried to refriend him and have a private conversation with him then yeah, that's a little dubious. No way that "ends up for the best" unless you agree that "the best" is probably them splitting up. Baumer: Hey honey, I was snooping in your facebook and saw that you were doing things that you agreed not to do. It bothers me that you did that and that you've been lying to me about it. Baumer's dubious GF: Oh, gee, I'm sorry. I'm glad you did that honestly. I feel like this experience will make me a better person and will really strengthen our relationship. I won't do this anymore. Make love to me wildly. Baumer: Yay! Baumer's cheating woman: Ha! Yeah right you skeeve. I'm out of here. My ex was never a snooper.
This was honestly what I thought when I saw that. He left a joke on a picture of us referring to their "arrangement" and I just asked her a couple of times who he was. She messaged him the next morning and said "my boyfriend is jel of you." That is the message that I got mad about and she apologized for. That is why I snooped. He lives in Illinois so I am not worried about anything physical happening but it is still upsetting.
Meddlesome prick that guy is. Put a story on his facebook about someone who was meddling with another relationship that ended up having an unfortunate accident.
She has spread her facebook legs and must pay for these atrocities against you. The seed is planted and there is no reversing it...........only one option now. Harakiri.
They dated about a year and a half ago for about 3 months. When I told her that I thought she defriended and is suddenly friends with her again she immediately removed him again. I honestly have completely trusted her the entire time and have not once felt like I needed to snoop. I love her to death and couldn't imagine not being with her but I need to be able to trust her. We have even discussed marriage before. Part of me thinks she lied because she knows it was wrong but nothing really bad ever happened. Part of me thinks something went down. Part of me thinks I am wrong and am being crazy.
Exactly. It may be best for them to split up if she is not committed to him and just using him to fill a void in her life. It obviously sucks to break up with someone you want to be with but you are better off in the long run if they don't feel 100% the same way about you. Every situation is different and it depends on where you are at/how serious you both are (or are supposed to be), but that's my take. There may be perfectly reasonable explanations for her communicating with an ex (e.g. it was a short relationship that ended years ago) in which case it should be no big deal IMO. The marriage pact thing is probably just a stupid joke but I don't see why she would hide that.
morally its wrong, but sometimes you have to do what it takes to find out so you are not wasting your time.
