Thanks for the encouraging words. As for me and her, we're both 19. I don't know if her dad is a Christian. Look, I'm black, but I'm not a "bad boy"...anymore. I've had sex, I've done drugs, I've been wasted...that was all in DC. When I moved to west Houston when I was 16, I was so bummed because I was leaving my old lifestyle. A dynamic group of people helped me see that what I was doing was wrong. I accepted Christ after I moved here, and as a born-again Christian I can attest to the fact that I have not done anything (majorly) impure since. No more casual sex, no more one-nighters. Whoever I marry (black, white, hispanic, asian)...there will be a mutual agreement that GOD is the center of the relationship, nothing else. I hope all non-religious people on this board will understand. This girl is so awesome. That's what makes it so hard. All I want is to do God's will. If it's not his will for me to dive into a serious relationship with her, I accept. But I just don't know. My best friend is Asian and her fam has no problem with me. Of course she is a lot older than me.
You and her are both of the same race. THE HUMAN RACE !!! Too bad the father is from the Ingrain race. Racism sucks.....I just refuse to deal with it. DaDakota PS. Write her father a letter, if he reads something it will make him think and he can't just react to it.
I am not a Christian or a foolish idealist. The "spiritual friendship" you describe is built on comman values. If her father, Christmas, Thanksgiving, family reunions, and having a caring grandfather for her children are important to her, then finalsbound should move on- that is my only point. Finalsbound appears to be a stabile and intelligent young man, so he shouldn't have any problem finding another wonderful woman to court.
You should keep dating her just to spite the sick b*stard. If you give up now he wins. If a guy I was dating had homophobic parents (which hasn't happened to me yet), I wouldn't let that stop me from seeing him.
Wow, insulting and closed minded. Your wife must be a very patient woman. You think we "bleeding hearts" don't work at our relationships? Are you stoned too? Your condecending attitude towards those that don't agree with your concept of how life SHOULD be lived is bordering on ridiculous. Lighten up, sunshine. giddyup: I'm not criticizing tbagain for his observations that relationships require work. Of course they do. I don't think any of us would dispute the fact that relationships require constant attention. I just think his overly pessimistic attitude, not to mention his condecention, is not representative of everyone...thankfully.
It wasn't your only point. You said "You bleeding hearts kill me. Soulmate?? Are you serious? Marriage is hard work, and belief in fairy tales won't help you make a long lasting relationship work. " That statement had nothing to do with finalsbound, and you are just back-pedaling.... you wimpy ass weasle trying to say you didn't insult "love" in general. You have the most weasling debating skills I've seen around here in quite awhile. .|.. ..|. Achebe, Remember, it is the weasle f!cks like this who like the big statementns, then like to back off them so they'll sound oh so reasonable, that make the hangout oh so cathartic, and that is a good thing! thank you again, tbagain... what a little f!ck questioning other people's definition of "love" then denying it. ahhhhh, cartharsis!!! Now I can be nice to people the rest of the day!!!
Come on guys, Let's just pretend for a little while that Bob_tb_jack is not a condescending guy who just tries to pick fights. If he is just trying to pick a fight, ignore him because he is a jerk...if he is serious, ignore him because he is just weak minded and spirited.
damn, rimbaud is right. I figured it was ToBeAgain, but didn't make the connection to bobby jackoff boy. Jeff and BK, You realize say_jack is one of the top most wanted on Clutch's list for banning. If you think rimbaud might be right, send me his IPs, I still have a record of all of them, and tracers on how he faked them. I can spot his signature.
tbagain -- i would argue that a big part of that "hard work" is the belief in the fairy tale despite a world of cynicism. While the whole world comes crashing down...while marriages fail all around you...while the world gives you every excuse to put yourself first...believe in the fairy tale. I think that makes all the difference. Life is more about what your perception of it is than reality...your perception shapes your reality...I choose to filter it through the fairy tale, the way my parents who've been married for 45 years have...still believing that they are soulmates. Romance is part of that "hard work" too...throwing out concepts of fate and togetherness won't keep you real warm at night.
<b>Jeff</b>: I was responding more to achebe who seemed very harsh. It takes work to keep belief in the romance of love. I think tb has some valid points. It's not just about what "you" want. When you are in love at age 19 it is very hard to envision the hurdles in the future.
No Jeff, I don't smoke pot, nor do I promote its use. That is your job. Some of you folks are advising that finalsbound date an 18 year old girl against the wishes of her father. That will tear her family apart, and not change the old man's mind one bit. All of this for what- a young fling?? She lives at home, and is under his emotional and financial control, and nothing good will come of this. They are too young to commit, and their backgrounds to different anyway. You may be offended by me, but I am offended by your mind numbing advice to finalsbound. Looks like we are even here. Heypartner- what the matter sport? You ran away last time we debated, once you showed your ignorance about basic civics. Have you come back to pile on with the other back slappers? LMAO, stick to basketball, clearly one of the few subjects that you understand.
I was engaged for awhile to a Japanese woman (me, I'm white). She returned to Japan to work and time and distance didn't help matters. But interracial dating is, to me, great. I never did understand so many guys' obsession with blonde-hair blue-eyed no-ass girls (well, I'll look, but...) The only problem usually comes from the family (depending how serious things get).
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!! OOOOOHHH HA HA HA HA HA !!! OH, HA HA!!! Oh! That was a knee slapper! For the record, never smoked it in my life, but, with your attitude, I'd highly recommend it. It's like you've taken a bottle full of life qualudes. What a downer.
I have to agree with tba in one aspect...Nothing to do with race but if it goes against her family she should either a) respect her fathers wishes or b) move out..
Dont give up on her. I went to Vanderbilt, not as bastion of diversity. There was this girl that I dated 4 times as a freshman. Not that it mattered to me, but she was black and I was white. As far as I cared, she was hot and cool and I was one lucky mf to be in her presence. We got along well, thing went incredibly well, but then she joined one of the black sororities, alpha something. Her pledge sisters pretty much screwed everything up between us, it was obvious that I was an unwelcome presence. Messages were lost, stories of me with other girls were invented. Things went sour. I got pissed. My mistake was that I quit, I figured it wasnt worth it, there were others. Didnt run into her much on campus after that, and if I saw her I blew her off. 4 years later, in Destin for senior week, I ran into her....she told me she woulda fought to keep me. Felt like a real a-hole.
Originally posted by tbagain You bleeding hearts kill me. Soulmate?? Are you serious? Marriage is hard work, and belief in fairy tales won't help you make a long lasting relationship work. Maybe you have a personal problem? I have been with my wife for 11 years and it seems like the first year. There is very little 'work' involved, the marriage just works great for us. I always wondered if I would ever find my soulmate, and I was lucky that I waited long enough and didn't make a mistake many years ago. Just because your marriage is apparently so much work doesn't really mean anything, now does it? If you want to increase your chances of unhappiness by deliberately choosing a difficult situation, go right ahead. How is it that you know this? Other post... Some of you folks are advising that finalsbound date an 18 year old girl against the wishes of her father. That will tear her family apart, and not change the old man's mind one bit. How can you know this? My parents families were distraught 50 years ago when my Catholic Mother (very young at the time) married my Jewish Father. Before my grandparents passed away, they all commented on how ignorant they where and how happy they were that my parents had married. But god forbid, it was hard on them. Maybe they should've listened to someone with your advice. Then you wouldn't have me disagreeing with you right now. Ironic, eh? All of this for what- a young fling?? Again, how can you know this? She lives at home, and is under his emotional and financial control, and nothing good will come of this. Again, how can you know this? They are too young to commit, and their backgrounds to different anyway. Shall we analyze all of the variables to assess the effort/potential reward? Relationships and love...a perfect opportunity to exercise one's statistical tools. You may be offended by me, but I am offended by your mind numbing advice to finalsbound. It must be great to be omniscient.
It's about what THEY want, and 'they' does not include Dad. Its Emilie's life and finalsbound's life, it's not Dad's life. If Dad doesn't want to realize that, too bad. Dad is just WRONG here, on many levels.
That is very simplistic Cohen. 99% of people need familial support, and disowning one's family for dating purposes is not wise. There are alot of women out there, and finalsbound should go find a less complicated relationship to enjoy.
