Once upon a time, when I was drunk and on lsd, I took my friend's bike up the street to buy beer. Now this convienence store I was trying to reach was atop of a mighty hill, and I had to conquer an enormous, steep driveway to reach it. But alas, I reached my destiny, and bought a 6-pack of Bud-Light tall boys. With my prize in hand, I hopped back on the bike and started to coast back down the driveway. That's when things started going wrong. I realized I was going entirely too fast for a one-handed trip back down. The bike started wobbling until I was thrown completely over the handle bars. I ended up flat on my back with beers scattering everywhere. I got back on my feet, and thankfully nobody saw my embarrassing wreck. I then gathered the beer that was not spraying out of the cans, and hopped back on my ride.....I started back down when I DID THE SAME STUPID THING AGAIN. Over the handlebars I went! It took me a little bit longer to get up this time, but I did. I picked up the remaining 2 beers and found my way home. When I reached my house. My friends laughed and gave me a hard time, one went and retrieved the lost beers (what was left of them). I ended up with a fractured wrist.
That site is a buddy and he sent them all to me there are some funny ones! Of the moons, is my one of choice. You just have a little more rythm than me. My dancing would look like Back to the topic. Both are just ways to expose your
I masturbate in bed when my wifes out for girls night, and let it dry on my stomach and fall asleep and my wife catches me e.v.e.r.y.t.i.m.e. "Why is your stomach so sticky?" blaiming it on the pets is not working!!
I would say I have found a new signature, but I need to ponder if I would like to see that EVER again!
Shouldn't it dry and flake off by then? Your wife should be asking why your stomach hair has dandruff.
Same...particularly when you lean in and get that wet line if the counter is wet. And i don't get the sitting and peeing cold joke..I sometimes do that when I'm really tired, and, yeah, the water is cold on your, er, you know...what's the joke?
**** ! ! ! AB, does that f**k with your head as bad as it does mine? On the same night, we met a guy who said... I mean talks about.... damn, ummm... well you read what he said!! It really f*ing freaks me out that I shook that guys hand and looked him in the eye! HeyP, That was guys night out... right? I am afraid to ask, but what the hell, it can't get worse.... what the hell does Mrs P do on those nights?
... now I know what to tell people happened when I am too drunk and I piss on myself..... like right now
The dumbest thing I constantly do is hit the F***ing snooze bar. I cannot tell you how many times I tell myself not to hit it when I go to bed, and the next morning I inevitably do, Which causes me to be anywhere from 10 minutes to 1 DAY late to work! (If I'm over an hour late, I'll just call in with an excuse) Good news? As long as I'm producing the pres. shuts up. Still, the snooze bar is an incarnation of the devil!
Apparently so, this is your second post about it. are you kinding. heyschweetie has purple-lips wine parties with her friends that end up in naked tickle fights. But I really don't have much proof...it's like, if five girls are having tickle fights on a guys bed and there's no men around to see, did it happen? The only proof I have is once one of her luscious hot friends come over the next day in a groggy, blushing haze to look for her favorite white panties in the couch cushions. I tried to get her to let me smell them to make sure they weren't heyschweetie's. Alas, that's another mistake I constantly make with women.
<font size="1">also, I feel like I should credit coma with the masturbation joke, especially in an AB thread where you're not supposed to steal jokes without asking.</font>
