Nope, it doesn't seem like that at all for you. And, I would more than likely accept a woman with a child from someone else had the circumstances been there. That's respectable and commendable . The statement about having children with someone who shows signs of disrespecting marriage was not directed toward you, but in general. I started a different paragraph because it was intended for everyone to answer.
Wow, this thread got uncomfortable to read. Good luck, stu. It seems you have a good head on your shoulders and you're doing the right thing by putting the children first. Mad respect.
Studogg/Rocket River?? As someone who has never had to endure the pain of divorce in any facet of my life so far, I can't imagine what kind of pain it causes. But, I can only hope that you land on your feet, and that you find solace in knowing that through the end of it, you fought the good fight, and you kept your integrity and beliefs. The last thing I can imagine anybody in your situation would want is to look back in regret. It's probably a natural reaction, but not always justified. Hang in there, and pour your heart into your kids. I'm sure it's a tough ride, but there's an end.
Wow Stu, so sorry to hear about your circumstances. Your story sounds very similar to mine that I went through about 3-4 years ago. I know how tough it is to try to do WHATEVER you can to save your marriage (for yourself and your kids) and, it's not only reciprocated, but it's really now unwanted from the person who vowed to share love with you. It sounds like you have a better grasp of your emotions and thoughts that I did at that time. Good for you. Your kids will need that stabilizing force in their lives right now. But, it's time to reflect, look at yourself in the mirror and create a better YOU. And, of course, make things as easy as you can for the kids first. I learned quickly that nothing matters in terms of being nasty or one-upping your ex over what's best for the kids. But, it seems you get that already. I wish all the best for you and, if you ever need someone to vent/talk to that's been through it before, you can always hit me up through the email on my profile.
Stu, I hope you get through this tough stage in life. Swoly-d, how about you go be a jackass elsewhere. You have some nerve acting all righteous, I only pray you never go through this.
Some of the best lessons in life sometimes hurt the most. Good thoughts for you studogg. Get up, dust yourself off, stay focused on your kids and good things will come.
Sorry to hear this stu but it sounds like you are doing the right things Swoly- you suck. You are no comparison to ffb either. He was at least entertaining. You are just a jackass
Self-righteousness is probably the biggest perk of Catholicism, its not very hard to ascertain. The only Saint I trust to bring me good fortune every week is Drew Brees on my fantasy team.
Swoly-d, you're such a complete jackass about divorce. Sometimes feelings fade, and the person who initiates the divorce doesn't always have a good reason. So I don't get how you can pile on the WRONGED SPOUSE for not apparently "doing enough" to keep their significant other. Do you realize how absurd and disrespectful that is? "Still, why have children with anyone who shows signs of not respecting 'the covenant'?" Are you serious?? what kind of bizarro world are you living in where you can tell someones' intentions from the get-go? You want to know the real reason marriages end? Not because someone didn't bend over backwards enough to keep it intact. Not because "God" wasn't a priority. Humans are simply not wired to mate for life. so, congrats. you seem to be pretty proud of the fact that you and your wife choose to control your biological instincts.
I don't know if it's your religion that causes you to hold divorce the way you do, and it doesn't really matter. Nothing in Catholicism teaches that you should hold yourself up as better than someone else going through a tough time. Yet you are acting as if you are better, and talking disparagingly about someone who is troubled and having difficulty. Instead of showing compassion, understanding, and willingness to support someone, you have chosen to badmouth the person going through a tough time, and act like you are somehow better than them. The sad thing is that whatever religious philosophy on which you claim to base your decisions ends up looking worse because of your actions, not better. Just think by being an ass what you are representing.
That's odd. Who brought up religion in here? I didn't. :grin: Thanks! So then why marry if you know this beforehand? Control our biological instincts, or remain faithful to each other? So is the OP supposed to say "oh, well, those were her biological instincts... I guess it was going to happen... " ??? Is he supposed to accept that she broke her promise and was unfaithful to him, even if he was willing to forgive that, because "humans are simply not wired to mate for life"?? I think we need to really talk about that one a bit.
i know what you're trying to say. that those "reasons" are just cop-outs. people marry because they fall in love. it's an emotion one can't really control. no one chooses to fall in love, it just happens. if studogg could flip the switch to say "I no longer want to be in love with my wife so my feelings aren't hurt" don't you think he would do it? somewhere along the way, his wife didn't feel like she did when they married. it's human nature. it just happens she didn't want to fake it anymore, something that happens a lot in unhappily married couples.
Swoly is a jackass narrow minded fool. Studogg, hope you get through this tough time. Nothing in this world is permanent, marriage can be one of those.
To preserve the sanctity of marriage. Marriage was supposed to be binding til death. Sometimes, hard discipline is in order. If she makes you miserable, spank her ass until the b**** learns not to. That's how pimps do it.
You did. The word "covenant" implied it. and your posting history on the topic of divorce. Because it's a socially accepted norm. (If it didn't exist, a few powerful men would still be hoarding all the women. They needed to build and grow armies after the fall of Rome, so monogamy was socially engineered. Each dude gets his own woman. It's been that way for so long that we now we see it as normal). Who doesn't wanna be normal??! Plus, the Bible says to! Plus you get sweet gifts for your wedding! And TAX BREAKS. No wonder so many people get married! (doesn't mean we're programmed to mate for life!) Being monogamous is a CHOICE. If it wasn't, you would never be tempted by extramarital urges. Even the most faithful husbands jack off once in awhile. YES - what else CAN he do?? You accept it and move on. If you don't...hello! You cannot force someone to be married to you! I guess your next post will be a good indicator as to whether it's worth spending time to reply to you.
I am not going to let this thread be derailed by this idiotic, narrow-minded troll. I want everyone to put him on ignore or not respond to his babbling. We can't stop him from posting (unfortunately) but we can control in responding to him. SO STOP RESPONDING TO SWOLY-D POSTS!!!!! Now, back on topic, stu - I also commend you that you are thinking about your kids in all of this. They are lucky to have a dad like you.
