Your bifurcated view on things i.e. "What I do at home applies to everyone else" is extremely narrow-minded and disrespectful to the people that can't live up to your standards. Leave this thread now, you're embarrassing yourself.
completely agreed. the focus is the kids. as mentioned earlier, i have kept it so civil that she has settled within our current neighborhood. i have worked to supress my feelings around my children and to learn from my parents mistakes. part of my dissertation here is the beauty of the anonimity of the internet. sure many could find my identity, but many here already have a percieved view of me. some of my friends are on here, but very few. but many of you i have carried on extended internet relationships (centered around one of my loves - the rockets). so i can feel as though i'm talking to friends, without burdening those that know her, or my friends, or my family. also, many of you have been through this and i feel sometimes it is cathartic to share experiences. not just for the person sharing, but for others who are or have gone through to know that they are not alone.
it's amazing that you control every aspect of your world. narcissim at it's fullest. for such an amazing person and proud mexican, you should go fix the problems in mexico with your magic touch. now piss off.
Both suck... and of course, you can't have a divorce thread without something fkn stupid coming from Swolyd...never fails... sometimes things just don't work out and people nowadays don't respect the sactity of marriage...If you guys work it out, great, if you don't, just know you tried and move on...
No, I don't. When my wife and I made a promise to each other, we kept it. We still do! When you have TWO people respecting marriage for what it's supposed to be, I guess that's what YOU would call "narcissism." I'm not an amazing person... I just keep promises I make to someone. Truth hurts so much you can't ignore it! Can you?
passion dies. people fall out of love. all the while, you've given her a family, a house, a dog, and secured internet. but that's not enough. one day she realizes that she's bored at home tending to your babies 24/7 and there's got to be more to life than being a mother. she has a girls night out with all the other baby mommas. along comes Jorge to sweep her off her feet. next thing you know, she's "spending time with her girlfriends" every weekend, not answering your calls, and comes home "too tired" to give you a happy ending. what went wrong?
I'm thinking of changing my signature for the first time ever: "I find my placement of swoly on my ignore list more justified every day." Now if everyone would please do the same and spare me from having to see any of his overly-verbose stupidity as quoted text that would be great. kthxbye.
^ :grin: That's hilarious! Go ahead and change it now! (then you'll be doing what I say, and most people aren't going to like it) I am thinking most people don't even realize that until after the rest of your post happens. WHY does the passion die? WHY do people fall out of love? WHY marry in the first place, then? It's a good spin on reasoning about cause-and-effect. At least you started that off right.
so i guess you didn't read my posts. i did respect the covenant. she didn't. truth doesn't hurt. nor do your comments. they are simply extremely nieve. has your wife lost her mother? you can neither sympathize nor empathize with my position. cool. i have gotten firmly back into my faith, and even tried using counseling both from a professional and from our pastor. you want to apply your limited perception of the world to everything else, fine. i just never thought you'd end up on my ignore list.
Swoly, I think I probably speak for everyone in this thread when I say, "Get the **** out of this thread and go post in other topics"
studogg, I'm sorry to hear that. It is best to get out of an unhappy marriage than staying in one for your kids' sake. Hang in there.
Oh, I read your post. I read it. How to choose someone who will remain true to their words from before marriage until after? Still, why have children with anyone who shows signs of not respecting 'the covenant'? I know it can't be that difficult. Why do so many people marry in such a rush? Sad. That's a good point, macalu. They probably want something new... so maybe they shouldn't marry at all...
It happens very rarely, but DD pretty much nailed it here. Don't listen to the people telling you to go get drunk, laid, etc. Well, don't take them seriously anyway. They probably mean well and are just trying to cheer you up, but the best thing you can do now IMO is focus all your attention on your kids. That's what a real man does. Sounds like you're doing that already, so props to you. I've never been divorced, but I come from divorced parents. I have no memories of my parents actually being together. It really sucked growing up, but I was lucky enough to have both parents be mature enough to put our well-being ahead of their differences, so we all made the best of it. To this day, I respect the hell out of my mother for never trying to turn me against my dad when she certainly had lots of reason to do so. She took the high road all those years and I'll never forget it. Yes, divorce sucks and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But it does get better. Just keep being there for your kids and it will all be okay eventually. One more thing. Swoly.....dude....what are you doing? Just stop.
did you ever think i had a child with her because i never saw signs of her not respecting the covenant. hell, i adopted her child and he knows only me as his father. does that sound like someone who was not commited? yes, many people rush, but there are external things that can be thrown into the mix that are not within your set view point on the world. may your wife be as happy tomorrow as you percieve her be today, and should she not, may you learn humility through your mistakes.
I can honestly say that you are the ONLY person on this BBS that I would not ever want to meet or buy a beer or do anything with. Classless?? Just because I don't "subscribe" to your way of thinking?? Get it through your thick skull and realize that something like this isn't "black or white". Many variables come into play here and it is not a simple matter of "well, I should have never gotten married." Well no duh, sherlock. I don't think anyone sets out to get married and then say, alright after so many years (or in Kim Kardashian's case, days), "time for my divorce." As I mentioned before, I could have stayed but she would have left as soon as she got a full-time job. She would have continued to act irresponsibly and not care that the love in our marriage was gone. It would have made things hard on our son for us to raise him in that environment. It sucks so much that I don't see him more. I can't tell you how much I have cried my eyes out when I have to give him back to his mother. But it is the best damn thing for him - to be raised this way. I know you are a narrow-minded dip**** but if you can't understand that, then like stu said you really do need to **** off and leave the thread.
But they keep asking me questions... what do I do then, oh, ruler of the thread, sir? Why is it unreal? You should know already what I stand for.
Do you not understand that it's possible for one person to respect the marriage (in this case, studogg) while the other person may have every intent of doing that going in (or maybe they were just pretending they did so they could have their life the way it was supposed to happen according to the pressures that our culture puts on us -- wedding, happy marriage, kids, etc.) but deep down did not have that same level of commitment and loyalty? Regardless of whether she was "getting everything she needs" at home, it's obvious she did not go into the marriage with the right mindset. She probably got married for the wrong reasons and just because it was the normal thing to do (this is why our divorce rate is so high IMO). Why you're lecturing Studogg on the principles of marriage is beyond me. You are barking up the wrong tree here...your level of empathy is disgraceful. Now GTFO.
