His wife wasnt looking at the prospects of real estate or the failure rates of restaurants when she made that comment. It has absolutely nothing to do with what the "business" is...the whole point is that his wife doesnt think he is capable of running a business. I think its completely messed up that she said that. I know that I would be pissed if my girlfriend ever said something like that. Next time something like that happens, you should put your foot down and say something.
I did. When said she cringes whenever I say that I want to own my own business, I said I cringe when I hear that my wife doesn't support me and has no confidence in me.
Did that get through to her or was it a comment that she just brushed off? I feel like she's completely blind to the fact that what she said was wrong. If you came up with a specific plan and then she dismissed it, then thats one thing...but she's wrong in this situation.
Sure didn't get through. Her reaction was, "I guess I shouldn't be honest with you then?" I said it wasn't her honesty about her feelings that bothered me. It was her feelings that bothered me.
While absolutely true, his wife did not supply any numbers based on studies or lend any knowledge of failure rates when she commented. Maybe she kinda "knew" but she reacted negatively to the notion he's willing to make their financial situation more unsettled. At first I was very anti-wife's response but she responded in very typical fashion really...its probably RARE that a female will support a venture into business ownership. Not like you ever win with the wife anyways. She says support the family of 5, you work overtime and bust your rump to do it, maybe 2 jobs. 2 months later - "You're never home".....
Life must be good when you're complaining about something so insignificant. Let it go or destroy your marriage because of your pride/ego.
It means the same thing to women when you say it like that. You're implying that you want her to change her opinion, but it's easier for her to lie with something that doesn't bother you. Some women stay maddening stuff not because they think they're right, but because they want you to prove yourself to them. A more constructive approach would be to ask her how you could show to her that you would be capable of carrying through owning a successful business. If you throw in that you value her honesty, it gives off a less combative "prove that I'm wrong" attitude to it. It gives the appearance that she's involved in your decision making process, and maybe you'd learn some weaknesses she thinks you should work on or weaknesses that you really do have but haven't realized. This approach can lead to situations where you bite off more than you can chew, but again, are you really serious about starting your own business? One stress test would be to put on extra hours after you finish your normal job. Some entrepreneurs expect to put on 20 more hours a week. Again, I'm assuming a lot into the motivations of your wife, but it does help your case by removing the kinks to your dream before you try taking off.
For some reason this thread reminds me of when Rosie Perez yells at Woody Harrelson "YOU LOST ALL OF THE MONEY??????"
Wait, aren't you the guy who thinks about his ex girlfriend or whatever every day? You should call her and see what she says about your business.
What exactly does that mean? For the sake of argument, let's assume she was correct in her assessment of your potential business acumen, you are hurt because she said so? Rather than "standing by her man" and encouraging you to risk everything in a display of loving support?
Is their truth to this? Can you link the thread? If this is true, then the OP is being a bit of a hypocrit. If he thinks of his ex all the time, then that means he doesn't support his wife 100%. Is this marriage doomed?
Ain't it just great how they turn it around on you? My wife wonders why I rarely tell her if I think she did something wrong. It's because it turns into something I did 10 years ago that is completely unrelated.
Yeah. That's me. And just because I am, every day, painfully reminded of how my ex-gf dumped me does not mean that I do not support my wife. Not true. Business owners don't pursue every idea they have. And whichever ones they do pursue, they do it carefully and with a well-conceived plan. My well-conceived-plans have been focused on taking less risk, working for someone else, bringing home a steady paycheck, and trying to secure a future for my family.
Have you taken a look at the whole picture? Are you the one in the relationship that provides you both with health insurance and benefits? Can she ‘step up’ and let you make this move? There are so many questions that you have to ask yourself. But I truly believe that her response was honest, but she could have been said a different way. We have started a business and I was the one that had to step up and let her make the big step. It was hard but we did it. I can honestly say that I want my wife’s honest opinion in any big decision that I make. She just better not be an a.. about it.
You were dumped well over 11 years ago and it is still a painful reminder to you every day? Based on your wife and kids, you don't see it as a blessing rather than a painful reminder that you deal with every day? In my life, I look at every unfortunate thing that ever happened to me prior to meeting and marrying my wife and subsequently having a family, as a good thing because it got me to where I am.
Thanks, but that was a completely different thread. Huh? I'm not having a mid-life crisis. Thanks. Again, I have no current plans to start my own business. It was a hypothetical thing that I casually mentioned to her.
Why are the majority of people taking his wife's side in this situation? All business owners start out with "ideas", many many ideas, then they focus on one and go for it. I'm sure it takes years of daydreaming and planning before they actually make it happen.
A couple of things to think about: 1) If you start your own business, it will fail. Not necessarily because of your inherent abilities and work ethic, but because, "Behind every successful man, there is a strong, selfless woman." Without the support of your spouse and family, taking on a venture of that magnitude is bound to result in the dissolution of you business or the dissolution of your marriage. 2) The grand majority of people enjoy the status quo and fear change. People will often avoid risk or change, even when it is to their ultimate detriment. Much like Newton's 1st Law of Motion, "People at rest tend to stay at rest." Once a person become firmly entrenched in a habit or way of living, it becomes exponentially more difficult to make a change. I suspect this is only magnified because of your need to provide for you family. And I will leave you with this quote, which I feel is fitting:
